My husband and I have been separated since April of this year, are still living in the house together with our kids aged two and five and have been going through mediation. Last Wednesday we were given a document to review with regards to the valuation of our assets. We had already agreed to leave our pensions out of the equation but in the interests of disclosure the mediator provided us with two documents, one valuation without pensions and the other with. As it turns out, if pensions were included then my husband would have to pay me an extra 16k but I said that I didn’t want it as I will have a decent pension when I collect it.
I had proposed a parenting plan in early May that where they would be in my husband’s care every Wednesday for dinner and every other weekend from Friday night until he dropped them off at daycare on Monday morning. When I asked whether this was ok, his answer was that it would depend on how much child support he had to pay. I understand that it is common in some marriages for one party to do more of the parenting than the other and in our marriage it has been me and the parenting schedule that I proposed would actually have him more involved in the kids’ lives than he has been thus far. I have also stated that I could see a 50/50 split as the kids got a little older. I have been documenting his involvement with the kids for the last few months and it’s pretty dismal, i.e., in a month he may have bathed them once or twice and put them to bed one time, made one meal and taken them to and from daycare 5 times even though he has been sitting at home for the last year awaiting his release from the military. So, during the mediation session my husband said that he was not willing to pay the amount suggested by the mediator which is several hundred dollars less than what the child support guidelines state and he’s not willing to pay a set amount every month. He’s also said that he doesn’t need to have the kids 50% of the time and that he’s comfortable with a 65/35 split but he will fight for 50% custody in order to not have to pay child support. I don’t believe that 50/50 custody is in the interests of the kids at this point given the status quo and I don’t feel that I should have to submit him a bill at the end of every month and expect that he’ll pay it but I really don’t want to go to court either. I have thought about just accepting the valuation amount and going without child support and it would be possible but tight. Does anyone know of a different option for paying kids’ expenses etc? Today my husband basically threatened to throw out all the hard work we have done thus far in mediation and not buy me out of the house as previously agreed upon until we can get child custody and support resolved. I am feeling incredibly frustrated and sad and will seek independent counsel but if someone has viable alternatives for child support I’m all ears.
Thanks.
I had proposed a parenting plan in early May that where they would be in my husband’s care every Wednesday for dinner and every other weekend from Friday night until he dropped them off at daycare on Monday morning. When I asked whether this was ok, his answer was that it would depend on how much child support he had to pay. I understand that it is common in some marriages for one party to do more of the parenting than the other and in our marriage it has been me and the parenting schedule that I proposed would actually have him more involved in the kids’ lives than he has been thus far. I have also stated that I could see a 50/50 split as the kids got a little older. I have been documenting his involvement with the kids for the last few months and it’s pretty dismal, i.e., in a month he may have bathed them once or twice and put them to bed one time, made one meal and taken them to and from daycare 5 times even though he has been sitting at home for the last year awaiting his release from the military. So, during the mediation session my husband said that he was not willing to pay the amount suggested by the mediator which is several hundred dollars less than what the child support guidelines state and he’s not willing to pay a set amount every month. He’s also said that he doesn’t need to have the kids 50% of the time and that he’s comfortable with a 65/35 split but he will fight for 50% custody in order to not have to pay child support. I don’t believe that 50/50 custody is in the interests of the kids at this point given the status quo and I don’t feel that I should have to submit him a bill at the end of every month and expect that he’ll pay it but I really don’t want to go to court either. I have thought about just accepting the valuation amount and going without child support and it would be possible but tight. Does anyone know of a different option for paying kids’ expenses etc? Today my husband basically threatened to throw out all the hard work we have done thus far in mediation and not buy me out of the house as previously agreed upon until we can get child custody and support resolved. I am feeling incredibly frustrated and sad and will seek independent counsel but if someone has viable alternatives for child support I’m all ears.
Thanks.
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