abused men, etc, etc.
Domestic abuse is an issue close to my heart - I lived with it for 8 years - and escaped!
It then took me years to find the strength and courage to work with my ex in even a moderately manageable co-parenting regime. To this day (7 years) it can be an uphill battle to stand up to him and not be bullied any further.
That said - I personally also know 2 men (in my immediate family) who have also been the victims of domestic violence. One is the husband of my ex-sister-in-law - imagine that!! Both her and my ex are abusers - doesn't take Freud to figure that one out!
The other was my own brother - who told us only after his marriage ended that the reason he finally ended it was because his wife would physically assault him and he was afraid that one day he would hit her back, so he had to leave before it got that bad - hearing those words nearly broke my heart - and none of us ever guessed.
I know what you are saying Grace about it being a 'secret club' - I also think that abused/survivors recognize each other ... I notice so much in what people don't say about their relationships ... often it takes very few clues for me to figure out that there is abuse/oppression in a relationship. I always try to be extra supportive of people in those situations ... I remember so clearly what it was like to be in those shoes.
In a quirky twist of fate, my new partner has been accused of domestic violence in his past relationship - after years with this man, I know these are false allegations, and hearing/reading them makes my blood boil ... I just feel like it takes away from the plight of real sufferers to have the words tossed around casually for attempts at financial gain and the sympathy of the courts.
Thanks for your post Grace, and for creating this new space, Jeff ... I will look forward to reading others stories!
Domestic abuse is an issue close to my heart - I lived with it for 8 years - and escaped!
It then took me years to find the strength and courage to work with my ex in even a moderately manageable co-parenting regime. To this day (7 years) it can be an uphill battle to stand up to him and not be bullied any further.
That said - I personally also know 2 men (in my immediate family) who have also been the victims of domestic violence. One is the husband of my ex-sister-in-law - imagine that!! Both her and my ex are abusers - doesn't take Freud to figure that one out!
The other was my own brother - who told us only after his marriage ended that the reason he finally ended it was because his wife would physically assault him and he was afraid that one day he would hit her back, so he had to leave before it got that bad - hearing those words nearly broke my heart - and none of us ever guessed.
I know what you are saying Grace about it being a 'secret club' - I also think that abused/survivors recognize each other ... I notice so much in what people don't say about their relationships ... often it takes very few clues for me to figure out that there is abuse/oppression in a relationship. I always try to be extra supportive of people in those situations ... I remember so clearly what it was like to be in those shoes.
In a quirky twist of fate, my new partner has been accused of domestic violence in his past relationship - after years with this man, I know these are false allegations, and hearing/reading them makes my blood boil ... I just feel like it takes away from the plight of real sufferers to have the words tossed around casually for attempts at financial gain and the sympathy of the courts.
Thanks for your post Grace, and for creating this new space, Jeff ... I will look forward to reading others stories!
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