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Schooling - need help ASAP!!!!!

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  • Schooling - need help ASAP!!!!!

    My lawyer is off until next Tuesday when school starts and I need some advice ASAP -

    My ex and I attended mediation this summer and we mutually agreed that it would be best if the children went to school near his home as I travel and it is difficult for him to get them to the school near my place when he has them. This was so we could move to a week to week arrangement. Previously, I had them during the week and he took them on weekends. He was supposed to arrange adequate childcare for before and after school.

    Well, school starts in a few days and he has failed to find adequate care for our youngest who is in SK this year. Right now he plans to send her to SK in the morning, have a lady in his building take her afterwards and then return her to the school in the afternoon for the afterschool program. I am very unhappy with this arrangement for many reasons so I'd like to revert to my original suggestion which is to put them in school near me. This is already arranged and childcare before AND after school for both children is AT THE SCHOOL.

    He is refusing to discuss the with me or even discuss my concerns and has just said - it's a done deal.

    I have the girls next week - what are the repercussions if I just send them to the school near me? We have no formal agreement and the mediator's summary clearly states that he is to arrange adequate childcare.

    I'm so stressed out about this!!! What do I do??

  • #2
    Why is his arrangement such a huge problem for you? He was to arrange for care, he did so and you're now going back on the agreement because you're unhappy about his choices.

    Unless there is some kind of safety or neglect issue with the arrangements he made then you really have no basis to re-neg on the agreement.

    Comment


    • #3
      There are a host of issues with the current arrangement - for brevity I didn't want to explain them all.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by CSAngel View Post
        There are a host of issues with the current arrangement - for brevity I didn't want to explain them all.

        Yes, clear and concise?

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        • #5
          As I'm sure many of us have been told by judges, mediators, lawyers, etc.... when the children are in your care, you are responsible for ensuring they are cared for when you are unable to do so. Finding the care facility (or facilitator) is up to your discretion, as long as the children are safe and happy. Whether it's a licensed daycare, a home daycare, your sister, mother, or neighbour... ultimately the decision is up to you - the parent with whom the children reside the majority of the time. If your ex has chosen a different child care than you would have, it is entirely his right to do so since the children reside with him the majority of the time.

          Perhaps you could specify what exactly you do not agree with when it comes to this arrangement. It sounds like you will be paying less in child care fees, and the little one will be looked after when needed. Do you have safety concerns?

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          • #6
            Don't know how you expect advice if you don't want to give the story.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by CSAngel View Post
              I have the girls next week - what are the repercussions if I just send them to the school near me? We have no formal agreement and the mediator's summary clearly states that he is to arrange adequate childcare.
              Are your kids registered in the school close to you?

              To me, you agreed to allow the children to be registered in a school local to him because you travel for work and would most likely have an irregular schedule. So what you agreed to was in the best interests of the children.

              But now that he has come up with child care which you don't agree with, you want to renege on your agreement, notwithstanding that you made it with the children's best interests in mind.

              Unless this lady is a crack addict or pedophile, I can't see what reasonable argument you have in changing your mind now. You agreed to the schooling and dad made arrangements for care for your 1 younger child for after school care. Given the scenario at hand I can see you'd be in for a long up hill battle to prove that you're not being unreasonable.

              Comment


              • #8
                When it comes to major decisions like school, you either have to agree or someone needs to be appointed to make the final arrangements. As you already have an agreement, that I assume is signed by both of you, your ex is right, it's a done deal.

                As our judge explained to my ex when my new spouse looked after our son, unless there are serious safety issues with this caregiver (not just that you don't like her) then it doesn't matter who is caring from them as long as they are cared for.

                By the way, the OCL recommended against separate day-care/camps in our case and said it was detrimental. I would not recommend making your own care arrangements. Seek additional mediation otherwise, take it back to court...

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                • #9
                  Thanks for all the input.

                  It's been dealt with.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by CSAngel View Post
                    Thanks for all the input.

                    It's been dealt with.
                    How? By realizing you were out of line?

                    Comment

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