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  • Royal Road To Trial

    I never thought I'd fall in to the 4% but here I am .. headed to trial. I tried everything in my power to settle at 50/50, shared custody but my ex simply wants sole or nothing.

    Every ounce of access I've fought for...and fought hard. EOW and every Wednesday wasn't consented to. It was ordered. If ex had it her way it would be supervised 1-3 hours/week. (Actually she was forced to give that too).

    The past is the past. The present and future is what matters. Whatever her issue is, whether it be moving to QC, wanting a free ride, etc .. she needs to focus on what we can do now and moving on. I think that's a fair statement.

    Most hear my threads and assume that I seek out and have dialogue over my ex's negative traits in court. Not the case my friends. In court I say over and over that I' will always respect and encourage her role in D4's life.

    I can assure you that her actions will be spoken about here. If this is bothersome to some than I apologize well in advance. In my reality this is the best place to discuss and make sense of them. Like I said in my very fist posts .. if I were actually abusive than this may have been a tad easier to take in .. at least I'd know why.

    So here we have it.

    1. D4 get's no J/K this coming Sept (Some here call that a "win" for ex. I call it a "lose" for D4)! But good for ex for needing more bonding time (she robbed nearly a year of mine).

    2. OCL is coming for round 2.

    I'm actually kind of excited for this. I may have a predisposition to PTSD symptoms from the last one .. but it's an update. In no way should it be going over all of the past false allegations.

    The endorsement stipulates that D4 has embarked on a new schedule and much more time with her father and this was the reason for the update.

    GREAT!! D4's doing very well here. Tons of love, affection, bonds and comfort. I really don't see how anything could go awry. Yes OP will work relentlessly to poison her just as they did the last time with untested, manufactured rubbish.

    But won't that work against them? With me looking to the present and future and OP not being able to let go of the past?

    As an example:

    D.L.W Vs. J.J.M.W (2005)

    ...the court found that they were suffering irreparable harm living in the care of their environment that she provided. She was distrustful to everyone, did not encourage contact with her father, believed that children should be exposed to as little outside influence as possible, had no extended family, could not let go of past issues.
    A change in status quo was warranted in order to protect their long-term best interests.
    I have done quite a bit of research on status quo and although I do understand that sometimes even forced status quo (unilateral removal, false allegations) will be maintained to the abducting parent in the best interests of the child, many cases such as the above are surfacing.

    Judges are catching on and they don't like it. And rightly so. Examples are being made in family law as we see time and time again on this forum with caselaw and stories from some of our top poster's.

    My ex can live in the past slinging mud all day if she likes...

    But, I'm here for the present and the future for D4.

    I think that's more important and definitely in her best interests!

    Come trial I will have studied my case thoroughly, will be well-prepared emotionally and mentally .. and I will fight to have 50/50 shared custody .. of which D4 rightly deserves, alternative sole.
    Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-08-2015, 10:22 PM. Reason: spelling

  • #2
    Hurrah LF32! I certainly am heartened by the determination and positiveness of the start of this thread! I think you are heading in the right direction, that being forward-thinking.

    I think it is extremely important for your case that any access you currently have has been through court Order. This shows that your ex would not encourage maximum contact should she have custody.

    Keep positive!

    Comment


    • #3
      OP building case from scratch ; Child's Behaviors

      Originally posted by arabian View Post
      Hurrah LF32! I certainly am heartened by the determination and positiveness of the start of this thread! I think you are heading in the right direction, that being forward-thinking.

      I think it is extremely important for your case that any access you currently have has been through court Order. This shows that your ex would not encourage maximum contact should she have custody.

      Keep positive!
      Yes Arabian. All access I've had, has been court-ordered. The Maximum Contact Principle (as seen another thread of mine) continues to play a large role in my case.

      It's also quite obvious that OP are trying to invent issues along the way (shrink shopping, etc). The multitude of allegations have been scrapped (after thorough analysis of all the facts). OP needs to stop attempting to build their case from scratch and focus on the present and the future for D4.

      I can't say for sure that my skill sets in behavior management have anything to do with D4's delightful behavior here (no tantrums, sleeps alone, etc), but perhaps it does play a role. It's not an ego thing by any means. It's my job to be kicked, hit, spit at and called to classrooms when a behavior erupts. (Mind you its much better than when I was being attacked by grown adults in group homes when I was a residential counselor).

      My point is that the behaviors are occurring at ex's (she says) and not my residence. Judges will look at this.

      In Hills Vs. Hills (2004):

      The youngest child, although not doing particularly well in the father's care, was ordered to remain with him as it was not believed that the mother could effectively deal with the child's difficult behavior.
      Thus, OP should tread lightly with this court strategy they're using.

      Comment


      • #4
        With regard to case law there's a disconnect from a Judge blathering over his/her finding(s) along with the eventual Judgement at the bottom of page

        Judge adds 1 partys stuff to the other partys stuff..to draw a conclusion. I am a firm believer that cases are pre-decided even before a Judge wanders into the Courtroom.

        I use to read a ton of case law years ago and a lot of it could of gone either way or each party had valid pleadings and may of lost by just a hair.

        Too much case law you think as you read goes one way...then goes the other way as a Judges pretends to be wrestleing or weighing the garbage...zzzzzz...snore...GET TO THE POINT!

        Of course Judges twist the caselaw around to suit thier on purposes (of the day) and (to me) just use case law as a guidleline to ensure that they ain't making new law.

        Knowing the various Laws and Acts and how it fits with your situation along with some good added FACTS (evidence) goes along way in winning (where the Judge has pretty much already decided in chambers)....meaning all the Judge has to do is stay awake through the questioning gibberish until the day both parties shut up.

        The below (above post) just shows me that the Judge already knew the facts on the ground and just rambled away on WHY. I don't even have to read the entire case law.

        The youngest child, although not doing particularly well in the father's care, was ordered to remain with him as it was not believed that the mother could effectively deal with the child's difficult behavior.

        When one parent is unfit.....the other gets custody....SIMPLE.
        Was there a need for a long Trial or Motion? to establish this result?

        This is were LF32 is headed....the OBVIOUS being kicked down the road until he's forced into a Trial.....for some old man/woman in a robe to read LF32's and Goldilock's Trial Record and find the other parent UNFIT or Hostile....but sit for days ANYWAYS doing a crossword puzzle so both parties can enjoy due process.

        Comment


        • #5
          Yeah .. I get the due process Mr. T. I Also agree that the judges have a pretty good idea of their choice well before the circus begins in the court room.

          One party will be seen as living in the past .. and one will be focusing on the future, equipped with a stellar parenting plan.

          What are the chances I wonder that ex might not go through with it? .. and will LAO actually fund this trial?

          Comment


          • #6
            Sincerity

            That's what drives this currently

            Some Judges don't believe Goldilocks and some are wasting your time ($) to find sincerity over Goldilocks's various allegations.

            I like the Judges that see Goldilocks as a lair

            But your in the conference/motion phase so the lair is going to keep lying until a Trial

            You've made large gains on every front....dumping allegations/getting mobility restriction/access. (you ain't losing them gains at Trial)

            Trial will be important to show Goldilocks's insincerity.

            Goldilocks's had the opportunity to just leave with the child and go to the OLD GOATs.....she didn't

            Instead she used her paralegal brain and hatched a PLAN with counsellor XXX.

            SHE had no URGENCY to leave a abusive relationship because she waited making recordings.

            Remember she was TOLD to bump into you and call the cops...that's standard advice (counselling I mean)....she didn't do that.

            Nope the paralegal mind assumed just waiting and gathering evidence or manufacturing evidence was good enuff.

            YOU don't wait 8 months in a abusive relationship.....you get the heck out...or get out quicker and the victim peeps will come back and get personal belongings later

            Goldilocks cannot fall back on.....couples counselling....or met with the local priest to work on the relationship problems, or called the cops..ZERO history of relationship troubles

            You don't make allegations after you leave. (after casually stopping by cop shop to cover the trail)

            You don't drop the old allegations and add different allegations

            Goldilocks should not of said "it's just a process"......because victims don't say stuff like that

            Sincerity....Credibility....it all ENDS when the LAO scumbag gives Goldilocks the CHANCES of success and the consequences of losing.

            Footnote

            Counsellor XXX....falls under the WHO WHAT WHERE and WHY that a OCL would typically ask/need.

            Which of course a victim would eagerly provide...names dates places and subject manure.

            Would a OCL accept "oh yes and last year I met with XXX (my friend Julie) and we discussed YYY (had lunch)"

            Would a OCL purposely omit "who or where" to build a history for Goldilocks's or omit a person that didn't want to get involved?...is my point...because a Judge will not believe a OCL didn't get WHO WHAT WHERE and WHY it's unprofessional investigative stuff.

            Now it's anybody's guess who counsellor XXX is......and my bet is Goldilocks went to Quebec to the OLD GOATs one week long ago with the intention of never coming back

            and met up with counsellor XXX in OLD GOATS city in Quebec where a PLAN was hatched.....Goldilocks came back to LF32 town to do the dirty deed

            OP knew last year LF32 was ranting Goldilocks only intention was to book to Quebec (may CC I think).

            Would Goldilocks think...hmmm....if I told OCL that Counsellor XXX was from Quebec it may be a credibility thing or did she tell OCL

            OCL was biased by OP....and certainly didn't probe for details on Counsellor XXX...but boy o boy did OCL wait for stuff and dig for stuff against LF32

            OCL may of went out of it's way to help...a party...(NO WAY!...unbelievable!)

            just a thought on SINCERITY..an a little on Credibility.....I'm also a big FAN of

            IF YOUR NOT GETTING RESULTS IT'S BECAUSE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS AREN'T BEING ASKED.
            Last edited by MrToronto; 07-11-2015, 12:11 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              If your ex had to pay for her own lawyer then I suspect this wouldn't have gone much beyond her stomping out of the matrimonial home and staying with her mother with D4.

              Legal aid has fed the demon and wasted tax payers's money. Legal aid has denied legitimate victims of abuse, valuable resources by continuing on this charade of assisting an individual who has repeatedly shown to have no credibility.

              The only sincerity your ex has is that she is sincere in her desire to ruin you financially, and to destroy your business reputation (good name) and deny you unfettered access to your daughter. Reason - money and freedom to dump her kid at grandmother's place, live a carefree lifestyle - all paid for by you and the good taxpayers of Ontario a/or Quebec.

              Keep your guard up as she is bound to try another boner, right around the time the OCL starts visiting. She's kind of predictable isn't she?

              Comment


              • #8
                Asking the right Q's

                Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                Goldilocks's had the opportunity to just leave with the child and go to the OLD GOATs.....she didn't
                Yes, she could have left any time she wished. In fact she visited QC many times while I was working. Why return with our child if there was so much abuse?

                Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                SHE had no URGENCY to leave a abusive relationship because she waited making recordings.
                Judge didn't like this. Neither did my lawyer. I remember reading a bunch of case law where the judge slammed the parent who claimed abuse but stayed anyways with the child. (Wait .. she never claimed abuse until after she left and 8 years of a great relationship with no pertinent issues or police involvement).
                In my case, not only did my ex make up fairy tales, but she stayed and tried to instigate arguments....and still was unsuccessful .. so took off.
                I clearly remember her voice being louder than usual on many occasions.

                I remember waking up and her yelling at me "You only go to work to be away from me .. Go make money so I can spend it"!! Then she would walk in to another room. I remember being so damn confused about stuff like that. Of course now I know she was walking in to another room to push record to see if I responded. (Who does that?)

                and met up with counsellor XXX in OLD GOATS city in Quebec where a PLAN was hatched.....Goldilocks came back to LF32 town to do the dirty deed
                Yes, and ex has also sought out therapists in QC who can determine if you are too incapacitated to work. I posted about this months ago. So yes Mr. T .. she's not shy from talking to counselor's in QC.

                OCL was biased by OP....and certainly didn't probe for details on Counsellor XXX...but boy o boy did OCL wait for stuff and dig for stuff against LF32
                Previous OCL wrote pages and pages from ex's mom, ex's friends .. basically ex's entire camp. She refused to contact my collateral's that would have illustrated my parenting abilities.
                My mom said she kept asking her if she had a bar or alcohol in her home ..

                OCL spent time and resources investigating my hair follicle test to ensure it was supervised and legit. (Remember I did it voluntarily .. no order).

                OCL didnt like my supervisor and got ex to shut down access (remember, no order for supervision).

                OCL said men shouldn't be bathing their daughters on access visits and called CAS saying "she wasnt sure what she was reporting but something sounded wrong). Access shut down for weeks.

                So yes .. I have very little faith in OCL right now. And I hope to god a real specialist comes in this time.

                IF YOUR NOT GETTING RESULTS IT'S BECAUSE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS AREN'T BEING ASKED.
                Agreed Mr. T. Perhaps that's a good catalyst for a subsequent discussion. Am I not asking the right q's? If not, I need to start doing so.
                Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-14-2015, 08:57 AM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Paying her own way

                  Originally posted by arabian View Post
                  If your ex had to pay for her own lawyer then I suspect this wouldn't have gone much beyond her stomping out of the matrimonial home and staying with her mother with D4.

                  Legal aid has fed the demon and wasted tax payers's money. Legal aid has denied legitimate victims of abuse, valuable resources by continuing on this charade of assisting an individual who has repeatedly shown to have no credibility.

                  The only sincerity your ex has is that she is sincere in her desire to ruin you financially, and to destroy your business reputation (good name) and deny you unfettered access to your daughter. Reason - money and freedom to dump her kid at grandmother's place, live a carefree lifestyle - all paid for by you and the good taxpayers of Ontario a/or Quebec.

                  Keep your guard up as she is bound to try another boner, right around the time the OCL starts visiting. She's kind of predictable isn't she?
                  Arabian .. if my ex had to pay her own way this would be settled right now. LAO has paved the yellow brick road and she's laying in the Opium filled field before reaching OZ, sleeping and enjoying the ride. Writing sloppy, allegation-filled affidavits that make barely any sense.

                  On a sidenote:

                  I have nothing against LAO nor Welfare. When I speak about these agencies I'm not generalizing to ANYTHING else except my own experience and the torment Im going through. I understand there are real victims out there and I know these agencies are needed and often a blessing in society. My threads pertain to "my" own case. (Hope that clears it up for a few PM'ers).

                  My ex however, is playing them like a violin. She is becoming a fantastic musician.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Saw this today: http://blog.separation.ca/parental-a...-intervention/

                    How have things been since the order?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Im familiar with the Ene Vs. Ene case law Rock. It's a good one. I wrote about it in my Maximum Contact Principle thread http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...20/index5.html

                      Since the motion things have been fine. She tries to keep me to stay and talk, we're civil.

                      That's the hard part. It seems like we're not even in court .. like we're functioning in our new co-parenting roles very well. We smile, we joke, we chat. This is SO weird.

                      Then her affidavits and court strategy paint a different picture. They're gruesome. They're so different from real life right now.

                      Hopefully the OCL can come in here and realize that we're good to co-parent .. jointly, or parallel. If there is anything high conflict occurring, it will not come from my end.

                      I still love the judges remarks here from Ene Vs. Ene (also in your link above):

                      At paragraph 70, the Court writes:
                      “The end of a spousal relationship does not terminate the parent – child relationship. Nor does it terminate a child’s fundamental need for love, attachment and the support of each parent. A parent who intentionally removes the other parent from his or her child’s life commits an abuse upon the child.”
                      Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-14-2015, 06:17 PM. Reason: entered quote

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        That's the hard part. It seems like we're not even in court .. like we're functioning in our new co-parenting roles very well. We smile, we joke, we chat. This is SO weird.
                        Play ball... this is in your favour.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hopefully Links.

                          So all throughout the communication book ex has consistently said that D4 is tired, needs 3 hours naps and is sick after access with me. I make sure to never overdo it and have her in bed at a normal hour for her age. She makes sure that's the first thing she writes. "D4 came home clingy, tired, needs naps, lumpy, etc".

                          Shes always full of energy here and wakes up full of energy right before her return. Guess this is just part of her strategy.

                          Will that crap ever stop?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Even when you win custody it won't stop.

                            You have to pray to the family court gods that Goldilocks remains unreasonable, hostile and making allegations right to the end...TO WIN BIG. (for the childs sake)

                            anyways moving on..
                            you have a right to inquire on and be given information from Goldilocks on health,education and welfare of D4....how's the request for information/addresses of various playgroups going....that you would like to have D4 continue going to during the summer on wed access?

                            Somebody played the parental rights card on information around a trampoline mishap...yet you can't play the same card around play groups...no information for dad...geeze...what happens if there's a mishap there?

                            have you tried offering arbritation? or collabroative law as a means to settle?

                            Justice Harvey Brownstone of the Ontario Court of Justice
                            "Many people prefer the Collaborative process because it allows them to maintain their privacy; the financial and personal details of their family breakdown are not accessible to the public in court files. Parents who have the maturity to appreciate that it is in their children's best interests that decisions be made in an atmosphere of mutual respect, dignity, and co-operation should explore the Collaborative family law process."

                            I see this matter as making it simple (on your end) and always looking to mediate or have a LAO settlement conference or use whatever tools avaliable to (offer) to settle.

                            Let the OP keep things complicated.

                            ALL thats left is Joint or shared..or parrallel

                            Law Firm in Manitoba called Fishman Beley has this nice procdureal blurb

                            http://www.fbfamilylaw.mb.ca/links.html

                            I suggest always to re-read the OP REPLY to your origional APPLICATION (revise it to get rid of the fluff ..repeated) and see were you are at with the OP cliams against you.

                            1) your a Parent
                            2) with a best interest parenting plan
                            3) an I'm the sane most reasonable parent.

                            Have you destroyed the OP claims against you YET...must have with drug tests ..motion...booze tests....no cop records..

                            In roads have had to of been made on discrediting Goldilocks (for the pleasure of a Judge)..from affadavits....contradictory statements/actions

                            Has Goldilocks ever been requested FLAT OUT ..to do a drug/booze test...because (added to the steaming pile) she only admitted later she did both (for OCL)

                            I harp alot on the withheld name Counseluer XXX

                            Goldilocks PLANNED child abduction to garner custody and has maintained the frivilous allegations in the hopes of a win and go to Quebec.

                            Goldilocks hasn't changed her stance since DAY 1..but lots has changed.

                            OCL report was tossed in the garbage......has the world collapsed? As Goldilocks said it would (and OCL..lmao)
                            Last edited by MrToronto; 07-15-2015, 05:48 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Reasonable Parent

                              how's the request for information/addresses of various playgroups going....that you would like to have D4 continue going to during the summer on wed access?
                              Just drafted this up Mr. T. I'm a little confused what's open in the summer and whats not. She said the Wed one was not but then asked me to pick D4 up there in Wednesday because they organized a wednesday event.

                              Anyway .. MIL got season passes to parc Safari in QC ex told me. They basically run to QC every time she gets dropped of.

                              have you tried offering arbritation? or collabroative law as a means to settle?
                              Yep .. thats being sent of also. Med-Arb is also a good alternative. Ex did mention in the communication book that she would like to try and settle at least "some" issues out of court. Med-Arb is Mediation .. and whatever issues are unresolved are adjudicated in arbitration.
                              Let the OP keep things complicated
                              This is the easy part. I just want to move on, stay out of court and focus on D4. OP wants a bloody man-eating war...even if it means building a case from scratch at the last minute.

                              Have you destroyed the OP claims against you YET...must have with drug tests ..motion...booze tests....no cop records..
                              Their claims: Emotional abuse/Substance abuse: Hair follicle,

                              Abuse: police reports, CAS reports, Motion judge decision, etc.

                              Plus .. ex decided to add many many new items that are absent from her original statement. Not a good idea IMO.

                              They have the recording's Mr. T. And perhaps some texts/e-mails of minor arguments over the last 8 years. We may have been a lot of things ... not abusive.

                              Also, don't forget that all my texts were deleted and she always had access to my cell (I left it at home b'c land line at work). I even called Rogers several times to see if there was an issue. Was she sending texts from my hone to hers then deleting? Don't know. Hope not. But she id an aweful lot of other planning.

                              Has Goldilocks ever been requested FLAT OUT ..to do a drug/booze test...because (added to the steaming pile) she only admitted later she did both (for OCL)
                              Yes. But only via e-mail to her lawyer by me when I was a self-rep. But in the CC the judge told LAO (when he requested it for me) that ex would have to get one too if that were to happen...but even then it wouldnt tell the whole story".

                              I went and got one voluntarily. Ex refused and ignored.

                              Goldilocks hasn't changed her stance since DAY 1..but lots has changed.
                              Ex wants to persevere on the past ... as if we're still together. Youre right Mr. T, Tons has changed. She needs to move on.

                              Comment

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