HISTORY:
When I left my ex, I went to the ER and then to an abuse shelter. Obviously, I didn't take but a shoulder bag of personal things.
He did give me most of my personal things; however, little of the furniture, appliances, housewares, etc. I got a waffle maker, two end tables, a file cabinet I didn't want, and two pieces of furniture he broke before he sent; and about 85% of items I brought into the marriage 10 years prior.
My lawyer had me itemize what he kept and what I received with prices - said I'd get monetary compensation instead of stuff. She said for my safety it was best to not fight for any of the stuff in the house. She did fight to get my passport; but didn't get my birth certificate or some other legal documents.
A couple months ago she told me I have to find the classified ad price for all the items in the home that he got and the classified ad price for what I got. This was opposite of what she'd had me compute earlier at what we'd paid for items. This was a shocker because we'd bought all new furniture, some of it special made, when we retired not quite two years before I had to leave.
It was impossible to set prices on some things: gifts my children had given me when they were boys, computer documents, financial documents, etc.
The divorce has been final since Sunday; however, the settlement hearings have not started because ex's lawyer can't find him... he refuses to answer his door, won't return phone calls, won't accept certified letters.
At the last hearing the judge told the lawyers since they have not came to a settlement in over a year that it is out of their hands and he will determine the settlement.
QUESTION:
Could the judge force me to take some of the furniture? Although at one time I wanted it; I realize that now it would bring back memories of the abuse. During the past year, I've slowly purchased furniture and appliances. Even if required to give me some of those things, I presume ex would destroy it or stain it before I would get it... like he did the two pieces of furniture he "allowed" me to have. If not, it would probably smell like tobacco since, without my presence, he's probably smoking in the home.
How much input will the lawyers have as the judge determines the settlement?
Thanks,
Hephzibah
When I left my ex, I went to the ER and then to an abuse shelter. Obviously, I didn't take but a shoulder bag of personal things.
He did give me most of my personal things; however, little of the furniture, appliances, housewares, etc. I got a waffle maker, two end tables, a file cabinet I didn't want, and two pieces of furniture he broke before he sent; and about 85% of items I brought into the marriage 10 years prior.
My lawyer had me itemize what he kept and what I received with prices - said I'd get monetary compensation instead of stuff. She said for my safety it was best to not fight for any of the stuff in the house. She did fight to get my passport; but didn't get my birth certificate or some other legal documents.
A couple months ago she told me I have to find the classified ad price for all the items in the home that he got and the classified ad price for what I got. This was opposite of what she'd had me compute earlier at what we'd paid for items. This was a shocker because we'd bought all new furniture, some of it special made, when we retired not quite two years before I had to leave.
It was impossible to set prices on some things: gifts my children had given me when they were boys, computer documents, financial documents, etc.
The divorce has been final since Sunday; however, the settlement hearings have not started because ex's lawyer can't find him... he refuses to answer his door, won't return phone calls, won't accept certified letters.
At the last hearing the judge told the lawyers since they have not came to a settlement in over a year that it is out of their hands and he will determine the settlement.
QUESTION:
Could the judge force me to take some of the furniture? Although at one time I wanted it; I realize that now it would bring back memories of the abuse. During the past year, I've slowly purchased furniture and appliances. Even if required to give me some of those things, I presume ex would destroy it or stain it before I would get it... like he did the two pieces of furniture he "allowed" me to have. If not, it would probably smell like tobacco since, without my presence, he's probably smoking in the home.
How much input will the lawyers have as the judge determines the settlement?
Thanks,
Hephzibah
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