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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 07-20-2007, 01:47 PM
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heres the situation I have sole custody in which my child lives with me permanently and the father has access if he chooses to exercise it every second weekend.......during the month of July our child can stay with the father providing I received a request 1 month prior in writing from him.......never received it........child went anyways........now he is to bring child back tonight and is refusing to do so....so I have someone going to get him on my behalf (blood relation) .....can I refuse to allow the father to have the child back on sunday asper court order he didnt follow through to have the child for the month of July in first place......do I have legal grounds for this.......think the father needs to be reminded of the original court order that he fails on many occasions to abide by.......should I return to court over this or should I just tell him he cant have our child on sunday
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Old 07-20-2007, 08:05 PM
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If your final order specifically states thee precise terms of who is to pick up and return your child I seriously doubt you would have any reasonable excuse to deny access. Two evils do not make a right so to speak. Even if there are clear directives I do not believe you may take the law into your own hands by changing the rules. Denying access may appear the right thing to do in order to make your point but think about your child first, it is difficult when dealing wit a difficult ex but remember our children first......Based on your post your child wanted a visit with her other parent, something to think about.
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Old 07-23-2007, 08:35 AM
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no my child wants to stop visitation (keeping inmind the child is now 12) however doesnt want to hear the backlash from the father........afraid of the father.....I realize I have to go to the Office of the Childrens Lawyer and get him a lawyer to take care of it.......however I can understand the childs point of view......the child called the father yesterday and told him not to get him that he preferred to stay home........not sure what will happen come friday though on the fathers mandatory weekends......that will be seen for sure
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Old 07-23-2007, 07:07 PM
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littleman,

To have the involvement of the Children's Lawyer involved in the matter; the issue would have to be brought before the court by way of case conference then perhaps motion. The attending Judge at the case conference may request involvement of the children's lawyer. However, the Children's lawyer reserves the right to be involved and take on any particular case and may decline to act.

Varying court orders is a two step process. Since you have final orders determining custody and access; The heavy onus is on you to bring forth a prima facie stance of a material change of circumstance that effects the best interest of the child before the court would move to have the office of the children's lawyer involved and further order to re-consider their previous final orders. I suspect such action would result in a trial of the issue.


See section 29 of the Children's Law Reform Act R.S.O. 1990 c. C.12 that deals with variance of custody and access orders.

http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/DBLaws/S...c12_e.htm#BK34

Order varying an order

29. (1) A court shall not make an order under this Part that varies an order in respect of custody or access made by a court in Ontario unless there has been a material change in circumstances that affects or is likely to affect the best interests of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 29.


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Old 07-23-2007, 09:45 PM
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thanks LV for the advice......the point Im trying to make is the child is not being treated as such......last friday for instance the ex left the child alone with an ailing 85 year old man who was in bed all day and my child was basically left alone......the ex was gone up past Pembroke when he lives in Renfrew.......the child feels like a burden when visiting his father.......which in my eyes should NEVER be the case........the judge did point out that when the child attained the age of 12 that they have the say of whether to continue visitation or not.......but I do not want to be the one to tell the ex this.....of course he will turn it around and say that I prompted this action which is the furthest from the truth........what do I do in this case to satisfy the child mostly.......the ex Im not so concerned about......
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Old 07-23-2007, 11:21 PM
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littleman,

Interesting topic as my own child wanted to babysit occasionally. I called the local police and of course the Children's Aid Society to clarify and affirm my beliefs and knowledge on the issue. Both agencies affirmed that it is perfectly all right and legal for a 12 year old child to babysit another child and moreover its perfectly all right for a 12 year old child to be left alone at times. However, they did state that its basically the parent's discretion as they know their child better than anyone and whether they are mature enough to be left alone or to care for other children.

Some parents leave their children alone just about every work day and such children retain a key to the home. I did have the opportunity to discuss this issue at a parenting workshop that I attended and the coined term for this particular parenting style was "latch key."

With all that said, I guess it will depend on maturity level of the individual child whether or not leaving them alone with an 85 year old would be appropriate.

If some sort of emergency were to happen - do they know to call 911 or even one of its parents? Are phone number conveniently available to the child?


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Old 07-24-2007, 10:48 AM
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so how do I go about helping my child at this point with his not wanting to go to his fathers........
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