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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #121  
Old 10-07-2019, 01:06 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ana Ana View Post
Janus
Thank you for your follow up, my apology for the spelling mistake.
As for quoting the whole post to add my two words, I am new to this forum and I am not quite familiar with it’s options. For example I don't know how to post a new thread or to replay to specific post or member.
Regards
Its okay, you will get it figured out. It took me a while to figure out how to do some things and some other things are still a mystery.
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  #122  
Old 10-07-2019, 02:58 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Originally Posted by Helpmyspouse View Post
Let's not forget how she got into this horrible situation. She ran out of money defending and fighting her ex and the broken system failed her. Now she is fighting to undo it all. She didn't lose the family canoe or stamp collection. These are HER kids now in the custody of a clearly unstable stepmom. She would not be able to share custody or coparent with someone like that. Not this nutbar who has already shown she has no interest in sharing these kids with their own mother. And who has not had a security clearance with results shared. How can mummaa222 be expected to close her eyes and just move on? Given this I ask every mother on this board this question I know I could not and here I'm on this board complaining about a broken system that has taken the equity from my marriage and left both my ex spouse and I with nothing because the effen lawyers ate it all. But mummaa222 situation makes me put my situation in perspective. I've Lost my money but not my children. My heart breaks for her. We not talking about the family pets. These are children who at the least we need to hear from their own voice. This situation is not in the best interest of HER kids. She needs her day in court with a lawyer because it has now become so complicated. Let's not pour salt in her wound if you don't support her efforts. The fact that she is on this board seeking advice and you can tell by her posts she is in anguish over being kept away from HER kids is enough to know she deserves a fair chance in court. A working class family should not go bankrupt or lose custody because of a piece of crap system.
Thank you. It helps to know there are people out there that get it and are rooting for me and my kids. The 2 daughters I have been fighting so long and so hard for also have a baby sister that is currently being affected by all this. My 4 year old has been told by her 2 older sisters that they don't love her and that she isn't their sister. She has heard her 2 older sisters tell me, the mother of all 3 little girls, that they don't love me, wish I would disappear, wish I had never given birth to them, never want to see me again, we're not their real family, etc.

Anyone who thinks that children saying these things is normal needs just as much help as the people who put these things into my daughters' heads! Children don't hate naturally, hatred needs to be learned. Their father agreed that he would make sure their older brother would be in their lives, he never did. The relationship with their brother was ended as soon as he got custody. They refuse to speak to him as well. My son now has twin boys and my daughters have met them once, and when they did they had never even heard their nephews existed.

They were very close to my mother and father and now refuse to speak to them either. Same for the rest of my family. They insist they don't even know the name of or remember an aunt that they were very close to and who was at every birthday party I ever had for them (they haven't had a birthday party since he got custody).

I'm not fighting because I feel I have a right to my children. I'm fighting because I love my children, all 4 of them! I'm fighting because they are being emotional and mentally abused. I'm fighting because there is a whole family who loves them and my girls deserve to have that love in their lives. My girls have a right to love who they want...they have a right to have bonds with their siblings who they were once close to. I'm not trying to win a court case...I'm trying to do what is right for my children. If there was a valid reason for them to not ever want to see me, their siblings, their grandparents, extended family then I would have given up long ago...I wouldn't let them go through all this.

If there wasn't a part of me that truly believes they want me to keep fighting and that they're scared and that there's so much more going on than they feel they can say, then I would just stop. Who in their right mind would subject themselves to this kind of insanity and pain on purpose without an extremely good reason? I'm exhausted, physically, emotionally, mentally...but giving up on my children's happiness and safety is not an option. Our bond may have been bent but it can never be broken. I can see in their eyes that my babies are still in there and want to come out.
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  #123  
Old 10-07-2019, 03:08 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
We must be reading a different set of posts. I will agree though that at least one of the parties in this dispute is clearly unstable.
Care to elaborate on what you see that makes me "clearly" unstable?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
I haven't had a security clearance either. I used to give my daughters baths, unsupervised!
These are not her daughters, she is not relation to them, she is not even legally a step-mother. No one knows anything about her background except what she has said. When she tells people about her life before she met my ex she leaves out that she was living with another man and hid that from everyone including my ex. She leaves out that the man she was living with also had 2 daughters. She doesn't tell anyone that she walked out on that man and his 2 daughters after 6 years and didn't look back, didn't say one word to those 2 little girls, not even a goodbye. So what else is she not telling anyone? I would bet a lot of money that there are many, many skeletons in this woman's closet. A security clearance for a non-parent is the law, I believe?
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  #124  
Old 10-07-2019, 03:33 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummaa222 View Post
Care to elaborate on what you see that makes me "clearly" unstable?







These are not her daughters, she is not relation to them, she is not even legally a step-mother. No one knows anything about her background except what she has said. When she tells people about her life before she met my ex she leaves out that she was living with another man and hid that from everyone including my ex. She leaves out that the man she was living with also had 2 daughters. She doesn't tell anyone that she walked out on that man and his 2 daughters after 6 years and didn't look back, didn't say one word to those 2 little girls, not even a goodbye. So what else is she not telling anyone? I would bet a lot of money that there are many, many skeletons in this woman's closet. A security clearance for a non-parent is the law, I believe?


Meh... I wouldn’t focus on a background check... unless she’s legally adopting them there is nothing saying they need a background check. When you send children to sleep overs do you request background checks, does your new husband have a background check? There are so many people the children are going to interact with that you won’t see a background check for. Who cares if she was with another man with children? Who cares if she doesn’t share that part of her story with people. She’s allowed to share her past as she sees fit. Maybe it wasn’t a healthy relationship? Do you understand how much your statement contradicts what you’re trying to do? You’re saying she walked out on those other kids, didn’t say two words to them and now you’re seeking to remove her from your children’s lives.

You need to stop putting your energy into her and her past. You need to be building your case around how you’re the bio parent and custody should go to you, you need to show how you’re prepared to care for your children. You saw a lawyer last week correct? How did that go?


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  #125  
Old 10-07-2019, 04:11 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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the one phrase that really stuck out for me.... My girls have a right to love who they want. If they love and want to keep in contact with the stepmom will you allow it?
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  #126  
Old 10-07-2019, 10:32 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Meh... I wouldnÂ’t focus on a background check... unless sheÂ’s legally adopting them there is nothing saying they need a background check. When you send children to sleep overs do you request background checks, does your new husband have a background check? There are so many people the children are going to interact with that you wonÂ’t see a background check for. Who cares if she was with another man with children? Who cares if she doesnÂ’t share that part of her story with people. SheÂ’s allowed to share her past as she sees fit. Maybe it wasnÂ’t a healthy relationship? Do you understand how much your statement contradicts what youÂ’re trying to do? YouÂ’re saying she walked out on those other kids, didnÂ’t say two words to them and now youÂ’re seeking to remove her from your childrenÂ’s lives.

You need to stop putting your energy into her and her past. You need to be building your case around how youÂ’re the bio parent and custody should go to you, you need to show how youÂ’re prepared to care for your children. You saw a lawyer last week correct? How did that go?


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I don't care that she was with another man with children she walked out on...it was an example to show that there could be things nobody knows about her and everyone is going by her word. This woman has threatened me twice now, once for speaking to my ex and now for trying to speak to my children. She has threatened my son when he was the same age my oldest daughter is now because he said something to her nephew who was talking sexually to my daughter, his little sister. She told my son he was going to be found in a ditch! Do you think I should be ok with this woman being alone with my daughters and being in total control of them? My daughters were calling her mom less than a year after their dad got custody of them and I was still in their lives as much as their father would allow...which became not at all, and that is when I brought it back to court.

I said from the beginning that I wanted to bring my girls to live with me gradually. That meant them living with her and making the transition. How do I do that with a woman who has threatened me, refused to look at me, let alone speak to me, in 9 years? I've tried having conversations with her and been polite with her and I've gotten back one word answers. I've had false accusations thrown at me left and right and guess who was the one to call cas each time? It was her! There are reports of her telling my girls way back in 2012 that I don't want them and I don't take care of them...and this is from the mouths of a 2 year old and 6 year old at the time.

I'd love to not be fighting against her for my girls and I'd love to not have to say anything bad about her just like I haven't done from the very beginning but I kind of have no choice now. My mother's instinct is telling me that something is horribly wrong and I'm sticking with that. I have evidence that my children have been severely alienated and I know their dad, even though he was either blind or allowed it, wasn't the "brains" behind it.

But again, here I am defending myself when all I've ever asked for on here is for advice...legal advice.

The only questions I have now are whether what was done on Friday was even allowed to be done? There IS an estate trustee and the rules say IF there is no estate trustee another person can apply to represent a party who dies. And is a non-parent allowed custody without a background check when there is a biological parent and many other biological relatives available.

This judge really just made my daughters orphans by taking away any access to their living mother right after their father died...and there was no reason for it other than for just over a month my daughters suddenly, without reason or explanation, stated that they don't want to see me. We had been bonding from February until July and then they went camping and came back and refused to see me or even my mother.

But ya...I'll just step back and not worry about it because their dad's girlfriend is just so wonderful.
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  #127  
Old 10-07-2019, 10:38 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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the one phrase that really stuck out for me.... My girls have a right to love who they want. If they love and want to keep in contact with the stepmom will you allow it?
That totally depends on if a psychological evaluation is done and the outcome of that. If a psychologist says the dad's girlfriend has done nothing wrong and is perfectly sane and not a threat to my daughters, then yes, I would.

I, honestly, would be very surprised if that happens though. All the signs point to her not being "okay".

I'm not perfect, far from it, but I'm honest and have never in my life purposely hurt another human being no matter how much I dislike them. I'm an empath and I feel for everyone...try as I may, I'm incapable of hate. Except for this woman, I can and do hate her and for someone like me that's huge...and it's exhausting.
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  #128  
Old 10-07-2019, 11:20 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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Originally posted by Janus
The fact that you don't see that as a problem speaks to your personal set of issues.[/QUOTE]



And the fact that you are very negative, hateful, and bitter speaks to your personal set of issues.

Last edited by Helpmyspouse; 10-07-2019 at 11:24 PM.
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  #129  
Old 10-08-2019, 07:55 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Mummaa222 did you go to the police about the text message?
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  #130  
Old 10-08-2019, 08:24 AM
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cashcow4ex cashcow4ex is offline
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Okay I'm going to say it.

I'm truly flabbergasted at how many of our members that have blindly jumped onto this sinking ship!

Doesn't anyone else see what I am seeing?

It's bloody obvious and painful reading some of these posts.
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alienated, death, p.a.s., sole custody, step-mother


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