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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #151  
Old 11-14-2014, 04:02 PM
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Janibel Janibel is offline
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I'd love nothing more than for this to continue. But allegations not dropped? No mention of mediation? Sep agreement? Still wont give me her addy? Whats all that mean? Ill just continue to ride the wave as my jolly, friendly self ..
For some couples mediation is not possible or even a good thing. Who care's if her allegations are not dropped - she can't prove them in court, so that's off of the charts.

What use is it to you to have her addy? It means that she is still extremely paranoid and probably won't trust you until you can trust her. Will that ever happen - maybe with time?
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  #152  
Old 11-14-2014, 04:11 PM
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Who care's if her allegations are not dropped - she can't prove them in court, so that's off of the charts. ?
True. Kind of shows her intentions I suppose though.
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It means that she is still extremely paranoid and probably won't trust you until you can trust her.
I guess the question is what reason would she ever have to not trust me about? Didn't do anything. Besides call her on all her crap.

Can I ever trust her? I have to. It will benefit D3. Ex has D3 a lot. I know ex loves her and would never hurt her. She apparently will hurt me though at any cost. Which may in turn affect D3 as a byproduct.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-14-2014 at 04:13 PM.
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  #153  
Old 11-14-2014, 04:37 PM
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I don't see the relevancy of some recent posts, with regard to EX being goody two shoes "all of a sudden", and LF32 having to smile and pretend to forgive and forget.

LF32 is in the EYE of THE HURRICANE. It's nice, quiet and calm in the eye and he's forced into playing paddy cake with Goldilocks.

Is the pain and suffering for LF32, for 8 months, being erased by a month of HAPPY HAPPY?

Anybody see settlement? I think I read a prior post on settlement a few pages back, but it hasn't materialized.

OP is still sticking with their REPLY and it's allegations.

SO GAME ON.

Thank goodness the OP is keeping the allegations alive and kicking, it means the last 8 months ARE NOT going to be erased by one month of good behaviour by Goldilocks.

Goldilocks by not budging from allegations means the scrap is coming. LF32 can do nothing but defend himself against Goldilocks.

What is sad for Goldilocks is her pretending currently to be a loving caring parent while maintaining the allegations. (tightrope)

Is Goldilocks still "vengeful", high conflict, unreasonable, mean spirited?

Goldilocks is only trying to prove "friendly parent" while keeping the allegations afloat. (impossible)

She thinks she already has Sole Custody, which is opposite to LF32 who is putting a big smile on his face to try to get Sole Custody, with the allegations technically already dismissed.

Goldilocks is hell bent and stubborn on her PLAN to get to Quebec. She cannot believe the MOTION (must be a mistake).....can we fight this.

The upcoming SC/TMC is a formality (just win the endorsement)

LAO scumbag lawyer is still on the case

EVERYTHING will be gone over at Trial.

Fantastic opportunity being wasted here for Goldilocks to walk away from the allegations and settle. Her going forward with this mess, guarantee's she's got mental issues and high conflict without LF32 doing a thing.

http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/cust_myths.html
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  #154  
Old 11-14-2014, 05:55 PM
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Toronto - You are confusing the legal battle with the day to day of getting along in the best interest of a pre-schooler.

Nobody is saying drop what happened all together. The false allegations MUST be put on the backburner for now if settlement is not reached.

Behaviour of both parties has now entered a new phase since mom has seemingly changed her ways. LF must stop whinging and deliver as the parent he purports to be. OTHERWISE, it will all be twisted against him.

In fact, if I were mom's counsel and I found him on here all day I would defo use that against him.

Maybe mom has changed. More likely she has not but we are giving advice to LF on what HE can do to be seen in the best light.

You know, outside of this forum most people don't give a rats ass what happened. Did workingdad's case ever make headlines anywhere except maybe this forum and the odd legal journal? NOPE!

If you parse Canlii you will see it is far better to be the one that is accused and proven innocent than to be the aggressor.

LF - You really honestly think mom's lawyer is going to easily give you the address now? If so, WOW! She made untrue statements and if she gives you the addy now you will automatically try to twist it as proof that she believes you are no longer a risk.

She took a stance. Judge disagreed with her so far. She has to do what she can to salvage her position. Cmon, let it go. Mention it SMC/TMC and let the judge deal with it. Soooo much wasted effort in asking for it repeatedly.
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  #155  
Old 11-14-2014, 06:00 PM
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By all means one is free to spend all day writing on an internet forum about why the other parent is crap.

For me, I would focus my energy on my own case (since I have ZERO control over the other parent) and on how I could be the very best parent to my child. You know things like, education, activities, family, stimulation according to the practices of Fraser Mustard and Charles Pascal. Things like that.
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  #156  
Old 11-14-2014, 06:53 PM
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Hey MR. T - I see you have your house up for sale

'Godfather' Mansion On Sale For $3 Million

I believe LF32 has a full time job working with disabled children and also works part-time as a professional musician. I don't think he has the time to spend full time on this forum. Like many of us who have gone through stressful times with separation/child custody, he has found solace and helpful advice from many people on this forum.

If you have been following his posts for the past 10 months you would know how vicious and manipulative his ex is. (He can never 'rest easy' with that woman I'm afraid.)

LF32 has been denied access from his daughter for a very long time. I think this weekend will only be the second time he has had her since his ordeal began. He is quite aware of the importance of putting together a solid parenting plan and has made admirable progress on many fronts of his child custody battle. Being highly educated, LF32 appreciates the importance of equipping himself with as much knowledge as he can. This has been evidenced by his attendance at parenting courses along with the extensive research he has personally conducted. In summary, he has done very well in delving into a "crash course" on parental abduction, child custody, Ontario Supreme Court Rules of Court, to name just a few.

This isn't a case of a parent jostling to the finish line merely over child support payments. This is a father who truly loves his daughter, puts her best interests forward in spite of a very vindictive, manipulative ex who wants to erase him from his daughter's life.

I commend LF32 for his perseverance and ability to maintain a mostly positive demeanour throughout this terrible time.
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  #157  
Old 11-14-2014, 07:15 PM
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I would add that it has only been 3 weeks since LF32 was in court.

LF32 does not know where his daughter is when she is not with him. I know I would not be able to sleep peacefully unless I knew, with certainty, where my 3 yr old daughter was when she was not with me. Could you?

If the mother behaves herself over the equal amount of time she spent trying to destroy LF32's life then I would maybe cut her the benefit of the doubt. Right now? Not a chance. As Mr. T has so correctly stated - Goldilocks has not made any legal move to settle therefore one must assume she is still intent on going for sole custody. It stands to reason that should she gain full custody she will most assuredly do everything within her power to alienate LF32 from daughter's life. She wants to destroy him. IT would be naive to think that a motion judge's ruling would change her thinking overnight.
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  #158  
Old 11-14-2014, 10:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FaithandMorals View Post
LF must stop whinging
Nobody's whining. Would you want to know where your child was residing? Interesting tone.
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Originally Posted by FaithandMorals View Post
In fact, if I were mom's counsel and I found him on here all day I would defo use that against him.
Getting advice, focusing on legal issues and working to get D3 back must be frowned upon by the courts. Bringing this to court would not be an advantage to her. It would detail what she's done. Show my consistency throughout since the beginning. Especially my being settlement-focused and cooperative.
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Originally Posted by FaithandMorals View Post
If you parse Canlii you will see it is far better to be the one that is accused and proven innocent than to be the aggressor.
You are aware she's the aggressor with all the accusations in this case right? I agree with you here totally.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FaithandMorals View Post
LF - You really honestly think mom's lawyer is going to easily give you the address now? If so, WOW! She made untrue statements and if she gives you the addy now you will automatically try to twist it as proof that she believes you are no longer a risk.
I will try to twist nothing. I don't have to. Already proven Im not a risk. Just want to know where D3 is. You're really amplifying this in to something its not. Strange.
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Originally Posted by FaithandMorals View Post
Soooo much wasted effort in asking for it repeatedly.
I haven't asked for it yet. Once I just asked if she wanted me to pick D3 up at her place since D3 was sick and I thought it may be in her best interest to not drag her around to an exchange spot. She said she was headed that way anyways (towards exchange spot). I've only been asking advice about asking her. I don't impulsively make inquiries and demands. I sit on it and try figure out what will work for my case.

Thus far it's been .. as Mr. T says "playing paddycake". We're all smiles, friendly, warm and delightful with each other.

I'm doing nothing that could hurt my case right now. Chatting online about my case is not going to bury me. I've said it from the beginning. I don't even want to be in court. Ive been backed in to a corner and accused. I will always respect, promote and encourage ex's role in D3's life. Im settlement focused. I've proved myself. What she's done is wrong. Yes. But I'm moving on. To the subsequent stage of the case.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-14-2014 at 10:10 PM.
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  #159  
Old 11-14-2014, 10:16 PM
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By all means one is free to spend all day writing on an internet forum about why the other parent is crap.
.
Wrong. Parent has done a "crappy things". She is not crap. I don't say she's crap. Please don't put words in my mouth. I've called her a good parent to D3. I've also said that what she's done to me has an affect on D3. I work all day. I have a cell phone and breaks. Chill out.
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Originally Posted by FaithandMorals View Post
I would focus my energy on my own case (since I have ZERO control over the other parent) and on how I could be the very best parent to my child..
I have her in dance class (twinkle toes). Im researching schools. I teach her academics when she's here. We bake cookies, play house.. you name it. I'm in a "parenting after separation class" (Judge loved that and Im learning a lot)

On the weekends shes here we go to her nanny's. Tomorrow for instance is X-mas parade in the town we're going to. So before you make all of your unfounded assumptions because I type some things in a forum, you don't worry about my focus as a good father. I'm doing just fine in that category. Honestly, are we almost finished here? Why do I have a feeling its a multiple account user?
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  #160  
Old 11-14-2014, 10:22 PM
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Awesome night. D3 and I made bead necklaces (her fine motor skills are fantastic), watched a movie, painted our faces and a bunch of other awesome stuff. Feels so good to read her books again, cuddling up before bed. "I love you so much daddy" right before she goes to bed. I missed that so damn much. That little girl is my world. I just want a world free of conflict for her.

I want to thank those of you for the continued advice, support and well .. cyber friendships that have spawned. In their free time some people knit sweaters .. some play games, some read, some watch tv. Me? I discuss my case, educate myself and research ways to be a more productive father. The best father I can be. I can't wait until she starts "Twinkle Toes" dance class next wed. Going to be amazing.
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