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  • #16
    oh there was cheating involved but the poster wasn,t the cheater and wasn't the one who upped and left!!

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    • #17
      the cost of going for the support alone will be high, because it will get nasty, but that is nothing compared to the emotional hardship it would bring to the children, they are happy hes gone as sad as that is to say, I know its been said CS has nothing to do with access but opening that can of worms up after all these years, will cause more stress in a situation that is already a mess. And nobody can tell me the kids don't feel it.

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      • #18
        I know its been said CS has nothing to do with access but opening that can of worms up after all these years, will cause more stress in a situation that is already a mess. And nobody can tell me the kids don't feel it.
        Even given extraordinary circumstances, I still don't see that putting in a request for CS will cause you children more stress than the stress that's going to be caused by the financial hardship you're going through. Believe me, children feel that too...extraordinarily so. And as a previous poster mentioned, that you can file the forms yourself since its just a request for CS motion.

        I guess its a case of pick your poison though.

        Personally, with children the ages of your children and the hopes that they'd attend university one day...I think you'd want to take this on. Particularly because you are saddling your new husband, who can't afford it, with the financial burden of your two children when he's not managing with the two he's truly obligated to.

        You may not like his ex...but the children of your husband's marriage are his and entitled to support and s7 expenses before any voluntarily financial support he gives your children.

        I truly think you can do this without involving the kids since it sounds like you already have custody and 100% access with the kids..there's very little your ex can do here. He should be paying CS...period...its the right of the child and that's how the court sees it.

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        • #19
          you are absolutely right on so many levels....I guess we will see what our lawyers plan is for moving forward on thursday, wether or not something can be done about my ex paying up remains to be seen, and I am guaranteed my children don't have to be involved is a necessity!
          As far as not liking his ex goes, I've never met her, but I will say I have no respect for someone who cheats in a marriage!! Unfortunately, the courts don't care, their morals have gone to #####
          As far as saddling my husband with the financial burden...I haven't been able to work for the last 2 yrs due to the fire in 2011 and I took care of our grandson last year so my oldest daughter could work, but there is hope for potential employment in the spring....trust me I'd rather be in the workforce then sitting on this computer asking people to solve my life issues!!

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          • #20
            The courts are not there to enforce morals, they are there to enforce laws. Courts don't write laws, they only interpret them. Sometimes the higher level courts point out where legislation needs to be clarified but thats as far as it goes.

            The law on divorce is clear; its no fault.

            As for saddling your husband, by not claiming child support from the biological father, you are already burdening your husband more than he needs to. And as others point out, when it comes time for post secondary education, it can make a big difference.

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            • #21
              i know the courts aren't there to enforce morals, I've already gone through a nasty divorce as well as my husband, but there does come a time and a place where the past is the past and you are allowed to move on. I am hopeful this will be over soon and understand his boys are entitled, but not for what she is asking! And definetly not without proof of expenses!!
              I had a chat last night with my husband about going after my ex for support and he said it's not an option, but I will ask the lawyer tomorrow....

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              • #22
                I had a chat last night with my husband about going after my ex for support and he said it's not an option, but I will ask the lawyer tomorrow....
                Good luck with this. In my opinion, you're doing the right thing. You have young kids who have a right to be supported by their biological father.

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