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  • any advice?

    My husband is involved in a court case with his exwife of 17yrs, I have been with my husband for 8 yrs, I have 2 children 10 and 15. My husband is the sole provider for our family. His ex is asking for a large sum of money for their 2 boys, being 22 and 24, towards post secondary education loans that were taken out without my husbands knowledge and arrears for exraordinary expenses she is claiming occured ( she has not provided any back up documentation to date).I don't receive any support for my 2 children, and we are getting killed financially by high legal costs!
    There is so much more to this story, I tried twice to post it and both times accidentally deleted it so I'm keeping this short.
    This case is causing unbelievable amounts of anxiety in our home and I was wondering if anyone knew what I can do to protect my childrens rights.

  • #2
    To protect YOUR children's rights... go after their father for CS... it is really hard to cry broke, when you are not receiving CS for your children and a Judge will ask that question...

    As for post secondary, yes he does have to contribute... large sums of money for post secondary are normal... depending on what their program is, some tuition costs are well over $10,000... education loans is pretty vague.. if it is a student line of credit then it is the students responsibility, Dad does not have to pay that...he does have to pay his share for post secondary however.

    More information is really required before anyone can help you... cost of education? Does he pay CS?

    Comment


    • #3
      I was under the assumption from readings I have done here, that section 7 expenses are things that the parties should agree upon in advance. In your husband's agreement, is he expected to pay a % of section 7? Is it proportionate to the relative incomes of the two parents?

      My separation agreement states there are a number of terminating events for child support, and reaching the age of 22 is one of them. So if my children are still in school at the age of 22 there will be some tough decisions.

      And children are expected to make contributions to their educational costs as well.

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      • #4
        Thanks for responding...the lawyer who is representing my husband right now is the same lawyer that represented 10 yrs ago with my divorce, we have already paid large amounts in legals over the years in dealings with my ex...I have sole custody and there is a restraining order against my ex...he has not made any attempts for resolution. My children have not had any dealings with their biological father since 2005. It's been a long road. We moved away from the stress back in 2009 and lost our new home to a fire 8mths later...the kids have been through enough...and we aren't crying broke yet but if something doesn't end this soon we will be. My husband has been paying his CS evry year to his ex and his order ends next month, well so he thought, but she now all of a sudden is coming after him for all these expenses....this has been going on for almost a year now, and I was wondering what I can do to protect my children who are under the age of majority?

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        • #5
          my husbands order doesn't state anything about post secondary expsenses only that any major costs incurred on behalf of the children is to be shared equally provided the matter IS DISCUSSED prior to the cost being incurred. My husband hasn't heard anything from his ex in at least 10 yrs....and has has no relationship with his boys...trust me not from lack of trying!! Have documentation to prove.His order is an old order back in 1996, and she has never taken any action to have it changed, but now that the order is coming to an end shes throwing this at us.
          And she still hasn't provided the breakdown of post secondary costs, and we just found out that his one son won 1 yrs tuition free and took last year off and shes claiming costs for those years!

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          • #6
            thats the thing...she made more money then my husband 80% of the years in question, his tax returns that we've supplied going back to 1996 prove it....
            Last edited by older order; 02-26-2013, 12:37 PM. Reason: spelling error

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            • #7
              so basically what I've learned so far is my children, who call my husband dad, but are not from his bloodline have less rights then his biological children.

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              • #8
                OlderOrder,

                I still don't understand why your ex isn't paying your children child support. It should have nothing at all to do with access, they are totally separate issues.

                If the order says that section 7 should be proportionate to income (which is pretty much the template), then if your husband's ex makes more, she should pay more. If as you say its 50/50, then thats the basis, but it should be 50/50 after any scholarships, or financial contributions of the student (which is expected to be about 1/3 the costs).

                But first things first, there needs to be a full accounting of the educational expenses, as well as incomes and any expected contributions from the children themselves, bursaries, scholarships etc. And even if they are totally justifiable, it is also unfair to ask your husband to pay them in one fell swoop if he wasn't involved in the decisions.

                As to your own children, I know you feel emotional about it, and that's understandable. But legally it has zero, nil, zilch impact on your husband's obligations towards his biological children. You should be persuing your ex for child support.

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                • #9
                  ok....I understand what you are saying...we have an appointment this week with our lawyer to give him the rest of our financial disclosure and will find out what our next steps are, she has not provided the financials we have asked her to to even make any reasonble offers to end this...surely there should be some sort of penalty in regards to that cosidering she brought forth this case. In the meantime, we will keep digging in the so called "endless pit" . My husband was slammed with a sizeable penalty at the last court appearance for not having all financial information ready....its an extensive list, not one you can aquire in a day thats for sure, I don't understand how she can get away with all this, and in the end it will probably all pan out but the fact that this can be allowed after all this time and you don't have a choice to but go broke to fight it is just wrong.
                  As far as going after my ex for CS AGAIN goes, can't afford to.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    From what I understand anyone who is being affected by this case other then a child can bring forth a motion, they then weigh the costs of living in both parties and make a judgment accordingly on all matters at hand.

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                    • #11
                      As far as going after my ex for CS AGAIN goes, can't afford to.
                      I guess I don't understand this comment. You say you have two children who are 10 & 15 yrs with your ex and haven't had any dealings with him for years. Why on earth didn't you pursue support rather than have your new husband support them...he has children of his own to support? At this point, you are owed retroactive CS for the years your ex didn't pay. This isn't an access issue...just a CS issue...and it should be fairly easy legal to pursue this. When your children are ready to go to university, your ex will also be on the hook for his portion of the tuition expense. CS is a right of the child..and it should be pursued, in my opinion...particularly if you're having financial issues with your new husband being on the hook for your children.

                      In my opinion, your thinking is a bit off in regard to your children's "rights" vs your new husband's children. He had the children before he married you and whether or not he has access to them, he has a duty to support them and support their education. This isn't designed to hurt your children...this is his obligation since he had those children first. Your ex's obligation is to support his children.

                      Help your husband out and get a support order for your children. It shouldn't be very difficult to do.

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                      • #12
                        I totally agree with what your saying and may not have another option, but theres a good reason as to why we don't get support from my ex and we will be opening up a whole new can of worms.....you say it shouldn't be that difficult...we shall see

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                        • #13
                          Gotcha...there's a lot more to the story.

                          ...but considering the ages of your kids...you've got a lot of years of support due here....not to mention S7 expenses.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by older order View Post
                            my husbands order doesn't state anything about post secondary expsenses only that any major costs incurred on behalf of the children is to be shared equally provided the matter IS DISCUSSED prior to the cost being incurred.
                            This "shared equally" line caught my eye as I was told by a lawyer just last week that it means each parent pays half & kid pays nothing... I also have an older court order with no specific amount spelled out and nothing saying kid has to contribute a cent to her own post secondary. So best tell your husband to just bend over & take it like the rest of us...
                            I was never included in any of the decisions either, never ending bullshit and lies from ex & D. Family law is the biggest f***ing disaster, there are no rules, just a bunch of people who get to interpret things the way they see it, always giving the benefit of the doubt no matter how high conflict your ex has behaved for years. Sorry, off on a tangent, good luck to you.
                            Cheers.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Pursuing CS is something you can do without a lawyer... other than your time and small court filing fees, you are really not looking at something that is expensive. Go to your local court house and speak to duty counsel, they will be able to tell you what to do, but it really should be quite simple... if things start to get nasty, state that you will forget the years of arrears and will consent to just on going CS and S7 splits.

                              Second families come, well, second... he had his first children before you and your children were in the picture and we knew his prior obligations. I can understand where you are coming from, as my partner has two children from a prior marriage... I would love nothing more than to be able to have a child together (I don't have any), but that will be put on hold until we are in the financial position to support another child, while continuing to support the two he has, as well as save for their education.

                              Comment

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