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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 09-01-2016, 06:09 PM
trinton trinton is offline
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Default requesting to extend regular weekend for long weekend?

Is it unreasonable to request for a weekend access to be extended for a long weekend on a Thursday morning?

Parent B argues it was short notice and the child doesn't want to be with A on the Monday and that they already have plans.
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Old 09-01-2016, 06:21 PM
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Is it unreasonable to request for a weekend access to be extended for a long weekend on a Thursday morning?

Parent B argues it was short notice and the child doesn't want to be with A on the Monday and that they already have plans.
This weekend just didn't suddenly appear. Parent B is right that is short notice. Parent A should of asked a while back. Child could very well have plans or their last free day before school.
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Old 09-01-2016, 06:28 PM
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This weekend just didn't suddenly appear. Parent B is right that is short notice. Parent A should of asked a while back. Child could very well have plans or their last free day before school.
Weekends are generally extended to include stat holidays right? Why have the child back on Sunday night on a long weekend when she should really be enjoying it with the parent who's weekend it falls on? Why cut the weekend short? Especially if the other parent already had the child all summer long?
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Old 09-01-2016, 07:11 PM
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Weekends are generally extended to include stat holidays right? Why have the child back on Sunday night on a long weekend when she should really be enjoying it with the parent who's weekend it falls on? Why cut the weekend short? Especially if the other parent already had the child all summer long?
not necessarily. I know for my partner if his ex has the child on a long weekend she only has her two days and he gets one day.
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Old 09-01-2016, 09:50 PM
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Typically, unless specifically stated otherwise, the parents access extends to the extra day if it is their weekend with the kids. Hence the term...long WEEKEND. It's still the weekend and the parent who has them gets that day as well.
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Old 09-01-2016, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
not necessarily. I know for my partner if his ex has the child on a long weekend she only has her two days and he gets one day.
Same here (the usual handover is Mondays after school, so on holiday Mondays Kid goes from Dad to Mom (or vice versa) at the end of the day, not after school on Tuesday). So there's a lot of variation in how long weekends are handled, no one specified way.

If A and B haven't discussed this, and if they don't have a precedent for how to handle long weekends, I'm inclined to say that B is right, parent A requesting a change on Thursday is short notice and it is reasonable for B to say no, we have plans already. Parent A could then propose a policy for the future whereby on future long weekends Kid spends Saturday through Monday with whichever parent has Kid for the weekend so that this doesn't come up again. I think for parent A this is not a hill to die on.
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Old 09-01-2016, 11:55 PM
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Honestly, don't even ask for the purpose of getting the extra day. Assuming you are an EOW loser attempting to get shared, you just make these requests to document her refusal to give you any additional time and then in court you briefly cross-examine her and list all of them. The judge will then make the finding that the mother didn't give you any additional.

That's what I did and it worked perfectly - the judge wrote "The mother is stingy with giving him additional access to the children"

Btw, asking/begging ppl like this for things feeds into their ego and controlling behaviour... One of the things I made very clear to my ex is she has 0 leverage on me, I have everything I want and she has nothing to offer me - and it works great - she even tried to make me say please and I refused and she still did what I wanted.... If she refuses things that are reasonable I eventually drag her ass to court at 0$ cost to myself $10,000 cost to her and she loses too...

Last edited by Links17; 09-01-2016 at 11:58 PM.
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Old 09-02-2016, 12:48 AM
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Btw, asking/begging ppl like this for things feeds into their ego and controlling behaviour... One of the things I made very clear to my ex is she has 0 leverage on me, I have everything I want and she has nothing to offer me - and it works great - she even tried to make me say please
That is where I am at. No more please or may I please - no point in making requests when it is going to be denied, doesn't matter if it was in advance a day before or a week before, there will always be an excuse made.

It does feed into the ego and gives them a sense of control and they love it - they have you under their thumb - exactly the problem with sole custody when used as a weapon or authority over the other parent for control. Slavery at best.
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Old 09-02-2016, 01:08 AM
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This is why any agreement that leaves the custodial parent with discretion as to parenting time is worthless to the non-custodial parent.

If you don't have time in the agreement, then you should expect to never get that time.

Since you clearly don't have the extra day in your agreement, there is no reason to imagine that you will ever get it. Sorry.
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Old 09-02-2016, 01:42 AM
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This is why any agreement that leaves the custodial parent with discretion as to parenting time is worthless to the non-custodial parent.

If you don't have time in the agreement, then you should expect to never get that time.

Since you clearly don't have the extra day in your agreement, there is no reason to imagine that you will ever get it. Sorry.
There is no holidays whatsoever in the order. No Summer, Christmas, March Break - nothing. Not even father's day. It was a consent order signed while I had no lawyer and not a clue what I was entitled to or what I was signing while trying to escape supervised access while Parent B was called out by the judge for having anxieties and that being the reason of her fear of child being abused while under Parent A's time.

There is a clause however : as such further and other times as the parties can agree in writing. And that's where the problem has been. For obvious reasons.

Case management judge has stated her opinion that parent A should have the majority of the holidays as Parent B has the majority of the school year. parent B has been giving more time since the motion was commenced but has been rather very difficult, dictating the terms, increasing and reducing times to suite her own needs but has expanded the weekends and somewhat the mid-week visitations but has tried to reduce those again unsuccessfully. There has been some PA days given and it's my understanding PA days are generally treated like stat holidays that fall on the corresponding parent's weekend.

Parent B has disclosed that the child was asked if child wants to spend time with Parent A and child has stated no and wants to state with Parent B - this is a young child under 8 years of age - very easily influenced by Parent B to state what would make parent B happy or what Parent B would like to hear.

Isn't Monday technically 5 days after Thursday?
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