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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:25 AM
momofonegreatboy momofonegreatboy is offline
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Thanks everyone. Despite my friends and family's advice that I was falling into X's trap, I did go to the school on Friday to pick up my son. An hour later, I did receive a phone call from X stating the school notified him and I did not get X's approval and authorization to do this as he has son till 5pm (this is status quo however, we do not have a written agreement nor a court order) when I stated this over the phone, he said was getting a court order.

Minutes later I received a text (of which I've pushed the ignore button) where X states he is getting court order, notifying police and CSA and filing for full custody. He said to 'enjoy the weekend as this would be the last time I'd see my son'. He said I should not be leaving town with 'HIS' son under any circumstances. When picking up our son at school that morning, he explained (sobbing) that his dad told him he didn't want to bring him to school early in fear I would pick him up. That broke my heart.

His texts were full of anger and I'm wondering if I can use them should I need to present my case (I am planning on self representing in showing that he is blinded by anger and cannot co-parent) once I'm fully prepared and ready). I don't mean to play the victim however, he did make me feel like I abducted our son when its the long weekend and I wanted to head on our trip earlier (6hr drive to visit my parents). I also had notified X or our plans weeks in advance. In a nut shell, I am to pick up our son as of 3:45pm (end of school of that Friday) and I went in the morning instead so we can get a head start on the long weekend. Will this be a no-no on me when he go to court?
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  #12  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:34 AM
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Getting that "head start" will probably lead to a much more rigid pick-up/drop-off schedule so I hope it was worth it. What you did, in my opinion, was unilateral. Giving notice of intention of doing something isn't the same as receiving the other parent's consent to alter a previously agreed upon access schedule. Pretty shitty that the kid was put in the middle of the whole thing.

Do you think you were putting the kid's interests first?

In the future I'd stick to the schedule and remember there are 2 parents not just one.
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  #13  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:35 AM
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Document. Text are not the greatest as they can be questioned. You may be able to obtain the original through your providor.

I would ignore him. No judge is going to want to here about this. It was family weekend and lots of children leave school early on the Friday before a school holiday to get ahead of the rush traffic.

He is likely to do the same to you next week out of spite. Your response is great have a good weekend. Hopefully its not something you both would do on a regular basis as from an educational point of view its not good to keep taking the child out of school. But many do, so not big deal.

Maybe time to get a signed Separation agreement. Mhow long have you been with this arrangment?
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  #14  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:36 AM
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Best interest of child=seeing family it's a one off not like this is being done on a regular basis and Dad should be supporting it. If it was to happen all the time and he did not get makeup time then I can see his frustration but not to the point of what he is doing which is not in child’s best interest.

He was advised and if he wanted that time he could have taken the time off and spent it with son but he sent him to school. He could had countered by asking for time missed in return.

Did you offer him a day or time in return? I really don't think you did anything wrong.
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  #15  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momofonegreatboy View Post
Thanks everyone. Despite my friends and family's advice that I was falling into X's trap, I did go to the school on Friday to pick up my son. An hour later, I did receive a phone call from X stating the school notified him and I did not get X's approval and authorization to do this as he has son till 5pm (this is status quo however, we do not have a written agreement nor a court order) when I stated this over the phone, he said was getting a court order.

Minutes later I received a text (of which I've pushed the ignore button) where X states he is getting court order, notifying police and CSA and filing for full custody. He said to 'enjoy the weekend as this would be the last time I'd see my son'. He said I should not be leaving town with 'HIS' son under any circumstances. When picking up our son at school that morning, he explained (sobbing) that his dad told him he didn't want to bring him to school early in fear I would pick him up. That broke my heart.

His texts were full of anger and I'm wondering if I can use them should I need to present my case (I am planning on self representing in showing that he is blinded by anger and cannot co-parent) once I'm fully prepared and ready). I don't mean to play the victim however, he did make me feel like I abducted our son when its the long weekend and I wanted to head on our trip earlier (6hr drive to visit my parents). I also had notified X or our plans weeks in advance. In a nut shell, I am to pick up our son as of 3:45pm (end of school of that Friday) and I went in the morning instead so we can get a head start on the long weekend. Will this be a no-no on me when he go to court?

Putting a child in the middle of parent's disagreement is not in the best interests of the child.
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  #16  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:39 AM
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You acted appropriately with giving notice and removing your child from school.

Your ex is acting inappropriately.

You need to immediately move to ignoring ALL text messages (send constant "blocked" responses to his texts) and communicate via email only.
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  #17  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:44 AM
momofonegreatboy momofonegreatboy is offline
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I'm a bit unclear with Arabian's comment that what I did was 'unilateral'. I don't feel I changed the access as son was dropped off at school and I was the one to pick him up as of 3:45pm (we've had the same shared schedule for 2yrs now- no written agreement). In all fairness to dad, I did not simply leave school early, I went first thing in the morning to pick up child. Dad wasn't upset because he missed out on time with son. Dad was angry because he wanted son to stay with him that weekend so to not miss his hockey game. He also planned another major activity to glamor the weekend so that son would request to stay with dad.

I would be open to giving dad the time back however, son was to be in school.
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  #18  
Old 02-17-2015, 10:00 AM
Beachnana Beachnana is offline
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Ah. So plot thickens. Its your weekend, but Dad wanted it?

Oh ignore button at the ready. And I would agree that you need only to communicate via email.
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  #19  
Old 02-17-2015, 10:05 AM
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We often disagree with each other on this forum - if we didn't it would be pretty boring.

You previously asked the father permission to have child miss school. You didn't receive father's agreement so you took the child out of school anyhow. You made the decision on your own - "unilaterally."

That is what I meant.

Sounds like you and your ex need to clear up your respective understanding of schedule - why would the father plan "another major activity" with son if it was not his weekend?
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  #20  
Old 02-17-2015, 10:32 AM
good_mom good_mom is offline
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So was it your weekend of his to have child? Getting a Parenting Plan in place is for Childs best interest.

Reread post it was your weekend....get use to it and don't expect ex to change.

Last edited by good_mom; 02-17-2015 at 10:35 AM.
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