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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #31  
Old 06-05-2012, 09:33 PM
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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
So its been awhile now, thought I'd give an update on the situation.

So as expected her affidavits were filled with nothing but wild allegations with zero evidence behind any of her statements. I was the first to file, which made me the applicant.

I attended an expedited case conference date a few days ago, where taking the judges recommendations- we had come to a temporary settlement of 2 days a week for 8 hours on each day, a non-removal order, return of any remaining items still in my possession, attend parenting classes, and to purchase a new crib for her.

My lawyer has advised me that this is great progress and a step towards the right direction. I am also pleased with the results seeing as I hadn't seen my son in almost a month and a half.

Just hoping to get some feedback and some enlightenment to whether or not this is regular procedure in regards to access, and what improvements to access I can expect in the future. Also, any tips about what I should to "protect my ass" during this time period since my ex does seem to be the malicious type and cause issues on anything she can get her hands on. I am currently keeping logs of my sons diet, time of pickup/drop-off, any rashes etc. that he arrived with and other misc. information.

I am currently expected to be back in court quite soon, in about a month.
If you need help and are in Ontario send me a PM with your details. There is just too much to put into a message board post. See some of my other threads about the topic as well.
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Old 06-05-2012, 10:52 PM
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If you need help and are in Ontario send me a PM with your details. There is just too much to put into a message board post. See some of my other threads about the topic as well.
"Tayken has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space."
  #33  
Old 06-06-2012, 08:30 AM
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"Tayken has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space."
Will clean up my inbox shortly. Sorry about that.
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Old 06-08-2012, 06:55 AM
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Normal for when the kid has been away from you for an extended period of time, is that young, and where there are allegations being thrown. Access adjustments depend entirely on your lawyer and you. Follow the order ( have you been paying offset cs there chief?), and start pounding at parenting classes etc. You can likely expect gradual increases as you prove yourself.

As for how to protect yourself...don't engage, keep it in writing, document document document and stay child focused even if it kills you. Cliche, but it doesn't make it any less true.
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Old 07-15-2012, 01:59 PM
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Alright so I had another case conference.
Supervision was dropped, and she had agreed that access was going well. Access has now been changed to EOW Friday->Sunday & every Wednesday for 3 hours.

Custody hasn't been decided yet, she is seeking sole custody still which I do not agree with, so we did not include anything in our order at the moment and will discuss it at the next date in October.

1) How likely is it for her to get sole custody?
2) How controlling can she be about my access? Nothing is specified in the order. I do follow his schedule, but she is trying to restrict who I can visit with my son. (her dad, who she is on bad terms with now)
  #36  
Old 07-15-2012, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
Alright so I had another case conference.
Supervision was dropped, and she had agreed that access was going well. Access has now been changed to EOW Friday->Sunday & every Wednesday for 3 hours.

Custody hasn't been decided yet, she is seeking sole custody still which I do not agree with, so we did not include anything in our order at the moment and will discuss it at the next date in October.

1) How likely is it for her to get sole custody?
2) How controlling can she be about my access? Nothing is specified in the order. I do follow his schedule, but she is trying to restrict who I can visit with my son. (her dad, who she is on bad terms with now)
why even tell her who you are letting your child see while with you?? Unless the person is a danger it is none of her business.
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Old 07-15-2012, 02:08 PM
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She found out through a third party.
  #38  
Old 07-17-2012, 09:58 AM
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She found out through a third party.
Unless the person is a danger to the child, there is no restriction on whom you may be around during your parenting time.

If she tries to tell you that you can't be around A or B, simply state that you do not dictate whom she is entitled to associate with during her parenting time, and you would expect the same consideration in return.

Otherwise, radio silence. You are under no obligation to advise her of your plans or whom you are seeing during your parenting time. It is none of her business. You aren't married or together, she no longer gets to know about your personal life.
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Old 07-18-2012, 04:07 PM
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Unless the person is a danger to the child, there is no restriction on whom you may be around during your parenting time.

If she tries to tell you that you can't be around A or B, simply state that you do not dictate whom she is entitled to associate with during her parenting time, and you would expect the same consideration in return.

Otherwise, radio silence. You are under no obligation to advise her of your plans or whom you are seeing during your parenting time. It is none of her business. You aren't married or together, she no longer gets to know about your personal life.
Alright let me go a bit more in depth of what happened with this situation.

I attended my son's first cousin's 1st birthday party at my ex's fathers house. The following day I received a call from the ex's mother (whom she lives with and does almost all the communication between me and my ex, since my ex still refuses to contact me directly) , she was very angry toned and had threatened my access due to where I had been the previous day, claiming her father's house to be a unsafe environmental.

Her reasoning behind this, that she now brought to my attention, was that her father has a "criminal record" from the past. Nothing recent, he has been happily remarried with a new family and other kids.

Not to mention we lived with him during the entire pregnancy without any issues AND visited his house WITH our son very frequently while still together. And if this was such a unsafe environment- why wouldn't she of brought this to my attention beforehand?

She is simply saying all of this due to her own recent grudges and fallout with her father, which arose once we broke up due to the fact he was still in contact with me and neutral on the situation.

She has accused me of being vindictive by allowing our son to see her father and that I did it completely out of spite. I've been threatened that joint custody is completely out of the question, and she will be calling her lawyer to attempt to reduce my access due to my "bad judgement call". Also, she will deny me access if I ever visit him again.

This behavior seems very repetitive to what she did to me. Once she has a fallout with someone, and things don't go 100% her way- she will throw wild accusations to selfishly alienate our son from loving family members.

I have stayed child-focused and haven't said a word to them on the situation. I only look out for our son's best interests. In my eyes, family is very important in life and personal grudges shouldn't neglect our son from getting to know his own family. Her actions and words only further prove she is not child focused and is letting her own selfish emotions dictate our son's life.
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