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  #21  
Old 03-15-2019, 05:24 PM
gettingexpensive gettingexpensive is offline
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Originally Posted by Karma2016 View Post
Dude, itís been exactly 3 years since my Lawyer-husband left me and due to his shenanigans we still donít know what his real income is nor what our assets are worth. Married 23 years. Iíve had to hire a forensic accountant. Weíve had one case conference which was, in the end, useless. Every time Iíve made a motion for him to produce financial I formation he obliges the night before the motion is due. Iím indebt probably $75,000, and climbing. Knowing he will have to pay me support indefinitely he is dragging this out masterfully.
And I guess if you ever win he'll declare bankruptcy so you can't get backpayments?
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  #22  
Old 03-16-2019, 09:28 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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gettingexpensive... Unless the other parent in your situation has BPD and you have the medical evidence of a diagnosis the general stance I hold is:

"Your Ex Probably Doesnít Have A Personality Disorder"

https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...ad.php?t=19845

It is very common for people to project their ex-spouse as having an Axis II Disorder of the Personality. You are not the first person to have come here with this "revelation". In fact, you are one of the many hundreds who have come here with this allegation.

I highly recommend you consider your position. To be frank I know William Eddy's materials intimately. I have in fact taken training directly from him in the past. I have signed copies of all his books on my shelf. Even Mr. Eddy will tell you that the likelihood of the other parent in your matter having BPD is 1% in the total population.

Again, unless you have REAL medical evidence you should drop the whole thing.
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  #23  
Old 03-16-2019, 09:46 PM
gettingexpensive gettingexpensive is offline
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
gettingexpensive... Unless the other parent in your situation has BPD and you have the medical evidence of a diagnosis the general stance I hold is:

"Your Ex Probably Doesnít Have A Personality Disorder"
...
Even Mr. Eddy will tell you that the likelihood of the other parent in your matter having BPD is 1% in the total population.

Again, unless you have REAL medical evidence you should drop the whole thing.
Yeah, I think that I'm safe...

Since December:
Involuntary admission under Form 42 (2x) and form 30 (1x) (in-patient mental health), total of 5 weeks and she was diagnosed by the hospital psychiatrist and psychologists. Spent Christmas in there after telling the kids on Christmas eve that she would go kill herself and left handcuffed with the cops (and there's lots more!). Children Aid society got involved on long term. Visits were supervised and short for a while, but she's now getting better so visits are not-supervised and of longer duration. Her intent is to get 50-50 custody ASAP but I am still not convinced so we're taking it slow.

So yeah, I'm pretty convinced she has BPD and I found that Bill Eddy's book Splitting was pretty bang on for quite a few things. Her lawyer dropped her after her "splitting" episode

That said, I recognize that she's making progress and am happy about this, it's better for the kids. But I know that I'm far from out of the woods...
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  #24  
Old 03-16-2019, 10:03 PM
Karma2016 Karma2016 is offline
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Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
And I guess if you ever win he'll declare bankruptcy so you can't get backpayments?
I donít expect that to happen. He has a reputation to uphold and kids to put through school. Heís just a turd.
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  #25  
Old 03-16-2019, 11:02 PM
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Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
Involuntary admission under Form 42 (2x)
Know the form well... "Notice to Person Under Subsection 38.1 of The Act of Application for Psychiatric Assessment Under Section 15 or an Order under Section 32 of the Act".

The form contains nothing regarding what mental health disorder the person is being held for. Just that they have previously treated the person for one.
It in fact under (e) states that the person has been found "incapable" and authorizes the hospital to hold the person for 72 hours under sufficient authority involuntary.

The person could have any sort of disorder that has been previously treated for. Like, say depression.

Again, Form 30: Notice to Patient Under Subsection 38(1) of the Act is a continuation of a hold and AGAIN does not formulate a diagnosis.

There are hundreds of diagnosis that could result in the hold. Unfortunately, in many cases, these forms are used to hold terminal cancer patients who try to take their own life. The forms in no way PROVE anything you have claimed regarding the other parent being "BPD".

In fact, I highly recommend you read this thread where a poster on this very site made a strong claim to kill themselves on this site. I note the poster in question is alive and well.

https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...ad.php?t=13955

Suicidal ideation is a serious issue and I am not downplaying it. If the parent indeed has a medical condition and they have been "formed" because they met the criteria of Part A and Part B of both forms it is a very sad situation. But, remember these forms are executed against diabetic patients often who are going blind and are experiencing mental disorder and meet the criteria for Part A and Part B.

This is not evidence that the other parent in your situation has an Axis II disorder. Furthermore, I note that the diagnosis of BPD is not one handed out lightly. It takes years of observation by medical professionals for any Axis II Disorder of the Personality to be obtained. As well, in your postings, you mentioned that the parent in question has a genetic disorder for which they receive disability benefits for. But, you failed to mention that their long-term and most difficult to manage and treat Axis II Disorder is a part of the reason they are on disability. This would generally form part of the primary reason for receiving benefits.

Quote:
5 weeks and she was diagnosed by the hospital psychiatrist and psychologists.
Again, as I stated before no clinician would be able to reasonable diagnose a person with any kind of Axis II Disorder of the Personality in 5 weeks. It takes significant observation under the clinical practices guidelines to come to that diagnosis. As well, if they did come to one what was it? There would have been a specific clinical coding of the diagnosis. For example, they would have to explicitly outline the pathology of the condition, impairment to interpersonal function, impairments in self-functions... to name a few off the top of my head.

In Canada, we use ICD-10-CA for clinical coding for diagnosis. What code was used for the diagnosis you are alleging? You are going to need this EVIDENCE if you are going to court on this allegation you are making. Or you are going to have to be able to gain a court order for the medical disclosure of the records. If you don't have the discharge summary or other official medical documentation that explicitly state a diagnosis, which the two forms you referred to do NOT have, you are going to be seen by every judge as the typical person who reads too much on the internet.

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Children Aid society got involved on long term. Visits were supervised and short for a while, but she's now getting better so visits are not-supervised and of longer duration. Her intent is to get 50-50 custody ASAP but I am still not convinced so we're taking it slow.
It is common miss conception also by new posters that the learned responders on this site don't see the "CAS got involved" argument. The CAS acts under the Child and Family Services Act (https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90c11). Their conduct is highly governed. To be able to exhert themselves in this manner over a parent they would need to bring a motion under that act to do so. There are rare cases where they improperly get a parent to sign an agreement without going through the proper channels. So, if the other parent consented to a conduct agreement with the CAS it doesn't tell us much. Had the parent been informed by counsel at the time they could have told CAS to bring a motion and CAS could have walked from the situation.

As well, the CAS can remove a child for a specific period of time but, to do it for any length of time as you have described they would need to bring a motion before the court to do so. This is because in accordance with the CLRA prior to a court ordering as such both parents are entitled to custody of the child. This also implies equal access as well. CAS will bring a motion if a child is in danger and need of protection. They are compelled to do so by law.

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So yeah, I'm pretty convinced she has BPD and I found that Bill Eddy's book Splitting was pretty bang on for quite a few things. Her lawyer dropped her after her "splitting" episode.
As you can see I am not. I also further note you explicitly said "i'm pretty convinced" which is a logical fallacy. It is called confirmation bias. You used Mr. Eddy's book entirely wrong to confirm this. This is easly deduced from your second sentence in your own quote.

The correct answer would have been:

I have the medical records that confirm the diagnosis and will be presenting them to the court. In addition, I have the name(s) of the clinician(s) who made this diagnosis and formed the basis of the evidence you are going to present to the court in support of your argument. As well, you are prepared to call them as witnesses to your matter to testify to the facts that you have claimed.

Reading a book and using confirmation bias to make an assumption as you have done is exactly why I don't believe your story.

It is very easy to convince oneself of anything. In my mind... I am a billionaire!!!!!! I read a book on how to become a billionaire and I am doing exactly what they told me to and think! Your story, just as my story of being a billionaire, is fictitious and transparent as every other person who has come making this allegation against the other parent they are in conflict with in my opinion. I also suspect you didn't bother to investigate the link I provided either.

Words matter. Especially written ones. You had to think about what you typed... Writing is not a totally fluid process. It includes editing and thinking. It isn't a natural flow like speaking. Your words were not a slip up.

I recommend you read this reply a few times prior to responding and think about how you are going to respond... and if you are even going to respond. Think long and hard before you rage quit like the rest.

Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 03-16-2019 at 11:12 PM.
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  #26  
Old 03-17-2019, 12:11 AM
gettingexpensive gettingexpensive is offline
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Again, as I stated before no clinician would be able to reasonable diagnose a person with any kind of Axis II Disorder of the Personality in 5 weeks. It takes significant observation under the clinical practices guidelines to come to that diagnosis.
...
In Canada, we use ICD-10-CA for clinical coding for diagnosis. What code was used for the diagnosis you are alleging? You are going to need this EVIDENCE if you are going to court on this allegation you are making.
Well that was an interesting read. The team (one psychiatrist, a social worker and someone else I forgot) met with us about a week before she was discharged the first time (after 2 weeks in?) and said that she had BPD. She was also discharged with a piece of paper mentioning BPD but I don't recall if there was a code or what. I wonder if they jumped to conclusion because of separation -> fear abandonment -> suicide threat = BPD or something.

As for myself, I guess I assumed that she has BPD based on what the psychiatrist said and her behavior.. but I have to say that for the non-psychologist it seems more than sufficient information!

Notwithstanding the accuracy of the diagnostic due to the timeframe over which it was declared, the soon to be ex frequently mentions that she has BPD (because the doctors at the hospital told her so) and she's registered for a DBT program to hopefully help. So it's not an allegation that I'm making nor think that would help me in court, I'm just whining that it's making the process way more complicated...

BPD isn't the reason she's on disability, she was recently "diagnosed" (notice the quotes!) with it but it appeared to shed some light on her past behavior. She's a functional BPD (quiet type I think?) so that never really prevented her to earn an income although she had a tough time in the workplace with colleagues which caused extra stress and made her physical disease way less tolerable...

And yes, suicide threats were taken seriously every time, can't really take chances with this. She did thank me and said that I saved her life but she isn't 100% sure she would have acted on her threats. I really could have done without these but it sucked even more for the kids.

Hopefully, we'll get an agreement in place sooner rather than later so she can buy her own place and the mother / kids relationship will recover over time. It will help her, the kids need a mother even though it will be way more stressful at her place than at mine. She won't be in the street and hopefully neither will I


Thanks for all the detailed info Tayken
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  #27  
Old 03-17-2019, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
Well that was an interesting read.
I note the following:

1. You failed to answer most of my questions.

2. Continued with a narrative that relies on your personal opinion and what will be interpreted as hearsay and called hearsay by the opposing party. They will simply claim you were not present nor was the disclosure given to you

3. Your handle on this site speaks volumes about you "gettingexpensive". Your objective is money and it is outlined explicitly in the way you have identified yourself to this community. We all see your chosen name. It wasn't auto-generated for you. You chose it to describe yourself. As an example, my name, "Tayken", is taken from the movie "Taken". Which is the image I chose to represent myself. You can review my extensive 6000+ postings and will note that my primary objective here is to help parent's who's children have been abducted by the other parent. I have worked with Steven Watkins and hundreds of other "left behind parents" in helping locate their children and even bring criminal charges against those parents and the people who helped them. I do this a course of social justice and to help people and it serves me no personal purpose to do this. The ramblings from me on this site regarding family law are all deeply rooted in the community service work I do. As well, for a pet software project that I am working on regarding natural language processing and falses allegations. It is generally false allegations that parental abductors operate on. My connection to Axis II disorders and why I can smash rocks into a keyboard and reply is because I have assisted in files where parents, who are ACTUALLY DIAGNOSED WITH AXIS II DISORDERS, have abducted their children. I have seen the actual medical records.

3. See my detailed analysis of your "story" below.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
The team (one psychiatrist, a social worker and someone else I forgot) met with us about a week before she was discharged the first time (after 2 weeks in?) and said that she had BPD.
Here is the issue I have with this statement. As I noted above, and you clearly didn't read, it is not standard clinical practice to observe someone for 5 weeks, especially in a situation where they are FORMED against their will, to throw out this diagnosis.

As well, having studied (but, not an expert in) the archetypes and behavioural patterns of a person Diagnosed with an Axis II Disorder, specifically BPD, the fact that they consented to your presence in a review of an oral discharge summary is highly questionable. Why? Because privacy is of the utmost importance to a BPD and many Cluster B personalities. This would be the first time I have ever heard of a person, diagnosed with BPD, allowing their personal information, especially information they would likely perceive as negative, be disclosed to a third party. Even a spouse! It is generally accepted that they want people to see them in the best possible light. This kind of information does not do this. They would do everything in their power to prevent this information to be shared.

Furthermore, under law and practice, the clinical team would require explicit written consent for the disclosure of this information to a third party. The process of FORMING someone is very complex and all i's and t's are dotted and crossed. The whole process requires serious consideration under Constitutional law as you are removing a person's rights to FORM them... Even if only for 72 hours and subsequently repeated holds that totalled to 5 weeks. Again, think before you write. Your story is wrought with holes. Hospitals do not willy nilly FORM people. There are significant legal consequences to the conduct if done improperly. Did you even read the forms you sited in your previous message? I doubt it.

As well, you admit below that you were separating or separated already at the time of the incident and that this "information" was included in the decision logic for the diagnosis. This raises a huge red flag to the story you are giving. If that was known to the clinicians they would have TRULY requested a signed consent for disclosure from the patient to provide you with any information or even to talk to you. It would be a huge violation of the standard practice and procedures and especially when a patient is FORMED!

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
She was also discharged with a piece of paper mentioning BPD but I don't recall if there was a code or what.
Again, you are transparent sorry to say. In most cases, paper-based discharge summaries are only granted when requested. Furthermore, in the case of a discharge of a patient who has been FORMED as you "suggest" this record would not have been given directly to the patient. There is an exception that would have been relied upon which is meant to protect mental health patients from the contents of their own medical records. This is STANDARD when a patient is formed. There will be information contained it that could trigger them and lead to self-harm. (Feel free to educate yourself on the College website on the practices and procedures regarding this so you can lie better and I have to write less in response.)

Also, you mentioned two forms that require a PRIOR DIAGNOSIS. You are now implying this is the first incident where the other parent was "diagnosed" with BPD. Your story fails horribly on this because by the requirement of the form and relying on the law... The clinician is admitting the patient on prior contact and prior diagnosis. READ THE FORMS YOU ARE RELYING UPON before you lie up a storm! If you litigate and present evidence like this a barrister will eat you for lunch! Your lawyer will also drop you like a hot potato and you will become yet another high-conflict disenfranchised lier who blames the "system" because you are a male. Ugh.

So, logically, how can a new diagnosis be the result of a patient who was FORMED under those conditions? Please don't lie and say that the parent in question was previously diagnosed BPD in your subsequent message. Liers always use a pattern of failing to disclose important information on this site and then magically blaming the person asking the questions and throwing allegations that "we don't know the real story". We know as much as you supply. But, you have supplied enough to demonstrate you are a crappy lier possibly. We see it all the time. You had plenty of opportunities to craft a better story. Subsequent "new stories" doesn't make your "story" more "real". As you see from my response... It just makes it worse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
I wonder if they jumped to conclusion because of separation -> fear abandonment -> suicide threat = BPD or something.
This quote above says it all. Thank-you.

"wonder" - Why are you "wondering" anything? You were very certain prior to my intervention that the other parent was indeed BPD. So certain that you purchased a book about it in the context of law. I note, that there is a warning at the beginning of the book to people like you. That it is not a guide to instruct you how to lie, paint the other parent as mentally ill and a danger to children. It is not a guide to how you need to stack the cards against the other parent in your favour.

"jumped to a conclusion" - You rely upon a common logical fallacy in this statement to explain the conduct of professional clinicians. Do you see how bad you are at lying? I am accusing you of "jumping to a conclusion" by reading a book and using the information, for which you clearly are not qualified to understand, to do exactly what you are suggesting EXPERTS are doing. Jumping to the conclusion based on your "wondering" if the other parent is BPD.

Even worse, you are using the commonly found information on the internet, what is known as "boilerplate" to try and continue pushing your position on the other parent's diagnosis of BPD.

You were very certain of your position in your previous posts. Boastful and bold I suspect. You were arrogant one might even say. My tonal analysis tooling (Google, etc...) that I use for NLP suggested it to me when I scanned your post. So convinced that you even suggested a book that the undereducated on this site should read. You just came here, jumped right in and thought you would bring wisdom. You did little to investigate prior to posting on this site.

I note, the parents that are the most successful start out their introductions to this site mentioning that they have been reading the site for a long time prior to contributing to the site. The ones that lie the least are the ones that start out this way too.

Now to the technical issues with your statement above.

1. Clinicians do not "jump to conclusions" when FORMING someone. As stated above, they are removing that person's rights under the Constitution. It is a very serious situation.

2. Just because someone is separating and has a possible "fear of abandonment" it does not equate to BPD. "fear of abandonment" is a subcategory of many diagnoses in DSM and other standards. People can have "anxiety" caused by "fear of abandonment". It is probably linked to hundreds of Axis I and Axis II disorders. It is like saying the person likes cake. Most people like cake. Just like most mental health disorders have an element of "fear of abandonment". It is not exclusive at all to BPD.

continued...
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  #28  
Old 03-17-2019, 02:18 AM
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3. There are thousands, if not millions of other reasons the parent in question may have had this incident. None of which are related to BPD. Separation is known to create anxiety. This could simply be an Axis I adjustment disorder. Anxiety is common in that clinical diagnosis. Anxiety can lead to being caused by a "fear of abandonment". Anxiety, when left unchecked, can lead to depression also an element of this diagnosis. If left unchecked it can lead to suicidal ideation. Just because someone outwardly says, as you have said in your previous posts, does not mean they are actually going to do it. The medical system takes it seriously because the consequences are irreversible and devastating. It is irreversible. Do you get what I am saying here?

4. Again, you have not addressed the glaring hole in your story... That the forms you relied upon in your previous response requires the clinician to attest to the fact that they have prior knowledge of the patient. Well, unless the parent is a very frequent flyer at the local hospital, it would be near impossible for any clinician to rely upon these forms to put a hold on. The rotating shift of psychiatrists at a hospital is complex. To see the exact same clinician for every encounter to be sufficient to use this form is well, statistically hard to establish. As you have only stated this single occurrence as your evidence no doubt you will say now there are prior. Please confirm by further elaborating on your "story" and adding this relevant evidence after the fact...

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
As for myself, I guess I assumed that she has BPD based on what the psychiatrist said and her behavior.. but I have to say that for the non-psychologist it seems more than sufficient information!
It is not sufficient evidence. It is not for this forum. It is not for the courts and it is not enough to justify your position against the other parent. I suggest you drop this nonsense now or it will only bring more "expense" and transform it from the state of "getting" to "being" quite rapidly. It will only escalate conflict and expense. More important it will only have a massive negative impact on the children. The only thing the court actually cares about in a family law matter!

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
Notwithstanding the accuracy of the diagnostic due to the timeframe over which it was declared, the soon to be ex frequently mentions that she has BPD (because the doctors at the hospital told her so) and she's registered for a DBT program to hopefully help.
What you are stating is not "in spite of" arguments. Anyone can declare anything about themselves. It doesn't make it truthful. It is also hearsay evidence. In light of the holes in your story... I don't believe it anyway.

Furthermore, upon discharge from being FORMED like that... Generally, they would refer the patient to a psychiatric hospital such as CAMH for treatment. Especially if the patient was FORMED as you have described. They wouldn't leave it to chance that they would go to treatment. It is well understood by professionals that Axis II Disordered people rarely follow through on treatment. Google can tell you that. It can also tell you that dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) is one of the more effective treatments. Good use of Google. But, a little late in the discussion to bring up. Makes it subject to internet searching...

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
So it's not an allegation that I'm making nor think that would help me in court, I'm just whining that it's making the process way more complicated...
It is indeed an allegation that you are making. You are trying to use it to justify your situation. To give light to your situation. Have you ever considered once what your contribution to the conflict is rather than trying to diagnose the other parent and blame the issues on what you think is causing the problem? People with BPD are not lunatics. They have interpersonal issues that are deep-rooted. They are not psychopaths. Pete Davidson, of Saturday Night Live, seems to do ok in life. He is diagnosed with BPD.

See this article: https://globalnews.ca/news/4727355/p...mental-health/

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
BPD isn't the reason she's on disability, she was recently "diagnosed" (notice the quotes!) with it but it appeared to shed some light on her past behavior.
Again, I recommend you go back to read my first post on this thread and the thread I provided to you. I mean you just confirmed my concerns with that quote. I don't even have to write a response. Just highlight a quote. My response to this is a quote from that post you should have read here:

Quote:
Second, emotion impacts how we process and interpret information. There is a term to describe this called ďconfirmation biasĒ (Fiske, 2010). Confirmation bias means that how we attend to, interpret and remember information supports our preconceived beliefs. When we are faced with information that contradicts our beliefs, we experience discomfort. This discomfort is a powerful motivator to see what we already believe. This isnít a conscious process, and in a way itís protective of our cognitive resources. It takes time, energy, and effort to change our beliefs. The world runs much more smoothly when we all have the inherent tendency to see what we already believe. But sometimes a trade-off for cognitive simplicity is accuracy. This means that once we decide ďthis person is acting crazy,Ē we will actively work to make the ďfactsĒ fit our thoughts. So if you believe your ex must be a narcissistic jerk, itís extremely easy to selectively remember all the information that supports your hypothesis.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
She's a functional BPD (quiet type I think?) so that never really prevented her to earn an income although she had a tough time in the workplace with colleagues which caused extra stress and made her physical disease way less tolerable...
I have never heard of "functional" in the diagnosis. Nor have I heard of the "quiet type". Those are usually terminology used by idiots who write jibberish on blogs. Here is the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic criteria used by medical professionals for you to review: https://behavenet.com/diagnostic-cri...ality-disorder

When I typed "quite type bpd" I got an interesting "People also ask" that states "Can BPD be mild?" which linked to an actual reputable place... They Mayo Clinic... https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-...s/syc-20370237

I note that that the link provided from the Mayo Clinic states:

Quote:
Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable intense relationships, distorted self-image, extreme emotions and impulsiveness.

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.
Upon review of this reputable organization's article. Nowhere do they mention "quiet type". Stop reading the shadowy corners of the internet where there are breakup listicles designed to help you diagnose your ex-partnersí psychopathology. Oh, you didnít think we knew that was a thing? It totally is a thing. According to several recent pieces on sites like the Huffington Post and Thought Catalog, almost everyone who ever dumped you had a personality disorder. Clearly, you are reading them because many of them identify the non-clinical terminology of "quiet type". Gack.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gettingexpensive View Post
Hopefully, we'll get an agreement in place sooner rather than later so she can buy her own place and the mother / kids relationship will recover over time. It will help her, the kids need a mother even though it will be way more stressful at her place than at mine. She won't be in the street and hopefully neither will I
The only sense you have shared on this site. This is how you need to view things. You want to solve the conflict fast. Send over a comprehensive severable offer to settle in accordance with Rule 18 for all issues. Being reasonable and not diagnosing the other parent is only going to create conflict, costs and put your children at the risk of emotional harm.

Conflict is a two-way street that cars crash on all the time. Get off at the next exit!

As well, I am crushing on the topic for a reason. One to benefit general readers on this site as a whole who may be thinking to pull a stunt of self-diagnosing the other parent. As well, to demonstrate the intensity of cross-examination your "stories", which you may think is evidence, will face.

Remember, just because someone swears something as "the truth" doesn't make it "the truth". It is "their truth" which is 9 times out of 10 times in family law is complete garbage. Everyone before the court is trying their darndest to paint the other parent in the worst light possible and paint themselves in the best light possible. You are not the first person to try to do it. You won't be the last. No one hates you for it. We just want your children to be successful and have parents who don't fight over nonsense stuff.

Children first. BPD research and nonsense last.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #29  
Old 03-27-2019, 08:15 PM
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I don't disagree with Tayken but here's an update to my situation... it took one hell of a turn. After countless harassing messages and death threats over the week-end, she showed up at work on Monday and asked me to send a fax after spending an hour grabbing my personal stuff from the house. I knew something was brewing... 3 minutes later she started to hit me, yes, at work in front a witness! Cops were called and she was arrested the next day and released on conditions (no contact and whatnot).

Interesting turn of events to say the least. And now the kids wonder why they cannot see their mom but know she did something...
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Old 03-28-2019, 05:55 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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Similar happened to me. Ex choked me in public and in front of our small children. He was arrested and one year no contact order. He was offered supervised visits with kids at a center. But he wasn't even stable enough for those. Staff kept cutting visits short because he couldn't behave and follow the rules. Just don't make the same mistake I made. With the no contact order from police one of us had to leave the family home. Like an idiot I left with the kids as it was supposed to be temporary. He was supposed to leave after a few months Well nothing goes simple with an unstable ex. I ended up not being able to get back in the home until 2 years later with a court order for exclusive possession. The wheels of Justice move slowly. And when I got back possession it was a hoarders dream. He made the home go to shit. I could only sell it as it was not fit to live in. Don't make that same mistake. I chose to leave instead of him because nobody would take him in. In his life, he burned every bridge. I felt sorry for him and didn't want him homeless. But that came back to bite me in the butt. Don't feel sorry for your wife. She will throw you under the bus. Do what's best for your kids. Always.
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