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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 11-24-2013, 12:28 AM
kidsRworthit kidsRworthit is offline
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Default CAS contacted by Psychologist and change of circumstance

Psychologist is to call CAS early this week to lodge complaint of parental alienation (yes PA well documented by: custody evaluation report, judge and Psychologist). Intention: to remove s10, and d12 from this poisoned environment under imposed sole custody of my ex.

Does anyone have experience with CAS and a change in custody: in favour of target parent? Please do share or PM me

CAS could base their actions on:
a. court order (alternating weeks, d12)
b. court order: engage services of Psychologist for reunification counselling
c. Psychologist recommendation/report (4.5 mths. in making) to remove s10 and d12 from this environment on basis it is harmful to them mentally
Ex is willfully and intentionally disobeying unequivocal orders of the court.


Aug. 2013 court order stating alternating parenting weeks of d12 - ex in contempt of (documented 18 times: 2 stern lawyer letters sent warning of motion)
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Old 11-24-2013, 10:48 AM
Serene Serene is offline
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Default

I am very interested in this thread.

I will also give you what I think will happen: likely nothing.

I remember a while back I phoned the police about harassment charges. We were being harassed and it was in writing for the most part. Sometimes 8-10 times a day. Threats were being made, malicious comments, and a whole slew of other things. Had it been anyone else other than the ex doing this, it would have been dealt with, we were told in layman's terms that if the police pursued every crazy and vindictive ex for this kind of stuff that they would never be able to answer any other call. For that reason, they just dismiss it.

I suspect the same with CAS. Having recently dealt with them with an investigation (we were being investigated on malicious allegations of abuse) they shed some light on how the system works. Even after declaring that mom was malicious and her allegations were not only unfounded, but clearly an effort to sabotage the relationship between the children and their father, and also an attempt to deny access "legitimately", they did nothing. They did make some notes on the file that clearly indicate that they were not at all pleased with mom and these notes were substantiated by written factual statements (having seen emails, having talked to mom and she denied the statements made in emails, etc.) to back up their opinion. But in the end, they did nothing.

It would be overwhelming to the system to follow up on PA and PAS. And this is why many parents pursue CAS allegations, because for the most part they are untouchable. This is also why parents who are living through PA and PAS also cannot reach out to CAS for help. Because CAS tries to intervene and give resources IF ABUSE is happening. However, they can't stop abuse per say, that is the decision of the abuser.

So if mom is being a wench and actively participating in PA and PAS, it is likely not going to be dealt with any time soon. And it is unfair. It is abuse but not yet widely recognized as it should.

My heart goes out to you. We are living the same nightmare. Read Divorce Poison. It may help.
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Old 11-25-2013, 11:28 PM
kidsRworthit kidsRworthit is offline
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
I am very interested in this thread.

I will also give you what I think will happen: likely nothing.

I remember a while back I phoned the police about harassment charges. We were being harassed and it was in writing for the most part. Sometimes 8-10 times a day. Threats were being made, malicious comments, and a whole slew of other things. Had it been anyone else other than the ex doing this, it would have been dealt with, we were told in layman's terms that if the police pursued every crazy and vindictive ex for this kind of stuff that they would never be able to answer any other call. For that reason, they just dismiss it.

I suspect the same with CAS. Having recently dealt with them with an investigation (we were being investigated on malicious allegations of abuse) they shed some light on how the system works. Even after declaring that mom was malicious and her allegations were not only unfounded, but clearly an effort to sabotage the relationship between the children and their father, and also an attempt to deny access "legitimately", they did nothing. They did make some notes on the file that clearly indicate that they were not at all pleased with mom and these notes were substantiated by written factual statements (having seen emails, having talked to mom and she denied the statements made in emails, etc.) to back up their opinion. But in the end, they did nothing.

It would be overwhelming to the system to follow up on PA and PAS. And this is why many parents pursue CAS allegations, because for the most part they are untouchable. This is also why parents who are living through PA and PAS also cannot reach out to CAS for help. Because CAS tries to intervene and give resources IF ABUSE is happening. However, they can't stop abuse per say, that is the decision of the abuser.

So if mom is being a wench and actively participating in PA and PAS, it is likely not going to be dealt with any time soon. And it is unfair. It is abuse but not yet widely recognized as it should.

My heart goes out to you. We are living the same nightmare. Read Divorce Poison. It may help.
Unfortunately, it is our children who bear the consequences of their high conflict parent's unreasonable behaviour. There is no silver bullet to resolve one parent's unreasonable and high conflict actions which CLEARLY are contrary to the children's best interests. I had a rock solid father/children relationship with s10 and d12 and NO reason for this relationship to be otherwise. Due to (documented) PA, s10 has been estranged from me for 11 months, and daughter just recently (progressively since July 2013).

Background: custody evaluation conducted April - June (55 pgs.) Counsellor seen March, April. Reunification specialist recommended in report. May, then July, reunification psychologist recommended in report seen by myself. Ex went a few times, then cancelled apptmts., then refused to go;
Attained court order for reunification counselling with this Psychologist and court order to follow agreed to status quo of alternating weeks.

Yes, optimistically, I suspected that CAS would conduct formal investigation on clinical proof (Psychologist is lodging complaint). PA being the reason CAS is being contacted), judicial fact (Justice stated PA in Aug. court endorsement). I am unsure of connection to Office of Children's Lawyer involvement. That is, the children require protection as CAS will uncover. Due to court documented action of ex not in children's best interest, will CAS refer to OCL to protect children.

Realistically, I am prepared for inaction and suspect I may ultimately be forced into invoking contempt motions against ex. I am concerned impact of contempt conviction on ex will have on our children. However, as civil and responsible co-parents, we are not above the law.

Having read Divorce Poison, and understanding the toxic environment in which our children live and receive their daily dose of poison, I regrettably understand clearly the issues and environment existing for PA. I also understand police involvement (ex called the police on me twice) which was unwarranted (as stated by the judge) and harmful to our children to witness. IMHO - this is an abuse of process, and the offending party should be sanctioned for further inappropriate behaviour.

Having lived the unnecessary and harmful PA situation, I fully understand the pain and frustration of every target parent. I am not hopeful that the alienating parent will correct their behaviour. When court orders do not deter behaviour, more drastic measures must be undertaken. What keeps me focused is this is about my children's best interests, and their right to have a loving, supportive and healthy relationship with me, and vice versa PERIOD.

If anyone has insight on OCL involvement (how to request, seek new custody evaluation report) I would appreciate you sharing it on this post.

Thank you
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