Ex not cooperating

[AloofOne]

Hello everyone!
First time posting..have been lurking ( and learning) for a while.
I was married for 6 years..sep for 2 years.

Separation agreement was one of those Do It Yourself , and is in question on many fronts.
Ex had delpleted our joint line of credit..unknown to me ( over $60,000!).
Has not paid support ( 2 children) according to guidelines...infact only has given me $200 a month ( and he drives a BMW!).
The case conference is in November, and I must attend the court ordered parenting seminar ( due to me seeking custody, and support)..
The ex has not done anything.. He may or may not have a lawyer ( no response from the lawyer who initially wrote a letter to arrange for mediation, and that lawyer would not accept being served )..
my lawyer has heard nothing in response for the application for divorce..
ex attempted to evade being served three times, and has told me that he will not attend the parenting seminar!
Has anyone been in this situation?
What are the consequences for ex not cooperating?
Thanks for your input!

[Mess]

The consequences are that a judge will have little patience for shennanigans. At your case conference you will ask for full financial disclosure and the judge very likely will order it and not listen to any excuses or requests for more time. The judge will put strong pressure on the ex to agree to an interim support order, and this order will be enforcable by FRO. If the ex doesn't consent, you will have plenty of cause to seek a motion order for support and should have no trouble.

What he is doing is taking his possible arguments away by being unco-operative. Your decision to seek assistance from the courts will be seen as necessary. You should seek costs for every step you have to take in the courts. If your ex were co-operating and making reasonable offers, he could avoid costs.

[Tayken]

The consequences are that a judge will have little patience for shennanigans. At your case conference you will ask for full financial disclosure and the judge very likely will order it and not listen to any excuses or requests for more time. The judge will put strong pressure on the ex to agree to an interim support order, and this order will be enforcable by FRO. If the ex doesn't consent, you will have plenty of cause to seek a motion order for support and should have no trouble.

Actually a judge at a case conference can make an order on child support if requested. They may not because they lack the evidence on the financial disclosure but, more often than not they will endorse child support. The reason being is that child support is something neither parent can "consent" to. It is the right of the child.

This is why as part of the filing a brief a Form 13.1 (or Form 13) needs to be sworn and filed. It is amazing how many judges don't order costs against the party who appears at a conference without having followed the Rules.

If the other doesn't file a financial statement (Form 13.1/13) you should request a motion, preemeptive on both parties to resolve the issues regarding child support (if the conference judge is unwilling or unable to order child support) and to determine back-owing child support.

The request to the conference judge should result in an endorsement that reads:

1. Pre-emptive motion on both parties to be heard on <date> at the <court house> to resolve the matters regarding ongoing child support and child support arrears.

2. The oral arguments for the motion hearing on <date> shall be no longer than one (1) hour.

3. Both parties are to file affidavit evidence in support on the other party seven (7) days prior to the motion hearing at noon. No late filing shall be accepted by the clerk for any reason.

4. Both parties shall respond to each other's materials three (3) days prior to the motion hearing on <date> and there shall be no further response from either party.

5. Materials filed shall only address the outstanding child support arrears and ongoing child support issues and no other substantive issue.

6. Costs for this case conference hearing shall be reserved and to be determined by the motions judge hearing this matter on <date>.

What he is doing is taking his possible arguments away by being unco-operative. Your decision to seek assistance from the courts will be seen as necessary. You should seek costs for every step you have to take in the courts. If your ex were co-operating and making reasonable offers, he could avoid costs.

Avoid costs and court.

[Tayken]

Separation agreement was one of those Do It Yourself , and is in question on many fronts.

If the agreement has a clause for waiver of independent legal advice ("ILA") or was signed with ILA then it will hold a lot of weight.

Ex had delpleted our joint line of credit..unknown to me (over $60,000!).

30,000 you are now responsible for unless you successfully get an order stating otherwise.

Has not paid support ( 2 children) according to guidelines...infact only has given me $200 a month ( and he drives a BMW!).

No one cares what he drives. His choice of what to drive is not evidence before the court. It is evidence to your frustration and emotionality. Focus on the matter the court can resolve... A judge isn't going to even bother and weight in what car he drives. What the judge needs is a sworn Form 13.1 / 13 that states the income for which child support is determined on and your Form 13.1 / 13.

The case conference is in November, and I must attend the court ordered parenting seminar ( due to me seeking custody, and support)..

This is mandatory to any action in family law and for both litigants. It isn't a "must" because you are seeking sole custody and child support. Everyone who is either a Respondent or Applicant has to go now. Nothing to do with your parenting or an "insult" from the court against you as a parent. It isn't a "parenting class" either BTW. It is a legal seminar on how to resolve matters without having to go through a litigated process, the options both parents have in resolving matters, mediation, arbitration and other alternative dispute resolution methodologies.

The ex has not done anything.. He may or may not have a lawyer ( no response from the lawyer who initially wrote a letter to arrange for mediation, and that lawyer would not accept being served )..

Not your concern if he doesn't retain counsel and goes in unrepresented. You have to complete your Case Conference Brief, complete your financial statement (Form 13.1/13) and serve the materials upon the other party and court in accordance with the Family Law Rules.

Don't worry about what the other party is or isn't going to do. If you follow the Rules and do what is expected and right then you are doing what should be done.

My lawyer has heard nothing in response for the application for divorce..

And this is a big deal because? 7 days prior to the case conference he has to serve a financial statement and brief. So now that their is an Application before the court why would he communicate anything other than a comprehensive offer to settle. Hopefully you have made several comprehensive offers to settle all (or some of the issues) prior to attending a case conference. I recommend you read Rule 18 of the Family Law Rules.

ex attempted to evade being served three times, and has told me that he will not attend the parenting seminar!

How about this? Why not have your lawyer write to the other party and "solicit" when they can serve the documentation and/or where. At your point in the case you don't need to do personal service. FedEX or Registered mail will work just fine for service. If he doesn't respond send the materials to the address known via registered mail and when he refuses you put in an affidavit of service detailing the attempts. The only good this does you is when the other party tries to use the lame excuse that they didn't get the materials and no attempts to service were made. Other than that... It is moot evidence unless the other party tries to allege that you didn't attempt proper service.

Has anyone been in this situation?

Vast majority of the posters coming to this site.

What are the consequences for ex not cooperating?

Costs being ordered against them for conducting themselves in "bad faith" before the court.

[AloofOne]

[QUOTE=Tayken;111639]If the agreement has a clause for waiver of independent legal advice ("ILA") or was signed with ILA then it will hold a lot of weight.

There is no such clause in the agreement.


30,000 you are now responsible for unless you successfully get an order stating otherwise.

The money came out of a joint line of credit that was paid off in full when the house was sold. The profits from the sale paid off the line of credit, and the remainder was shared between us.
I paid for his personal expenses out of my share ..like his $14,000 dentist bill..his expenses did not benefit the children.

No one cares what he drives. His choice of what to drive is not evidence before the court. It is evidence to your frustration and emotionality. Focus on the matter the court can resolve... A judge isn't going to even bother and weight in what car he drives. What the judge needs is a sworn Form 13.1 / 13 that states the income for which child support is determined on and your Form 13.1 / 13.

The fact that I mentioned the BMW is to make a point..he pays $200 in child support for 2 teeneage children..and a $410 a month payment on his car..
this doesn't seem right




Don't worry about what the other party is or isn't going to do. If you follow the Rules and do what is expected and right then you are doing what should be done.


Thank you for your input!

[sa_snoopin]

Because there is a child involved, you have a better chance to get an order. If you don't, file a motion right away.
Look at Rule 24.
In my case the ex has been extremely uncooperative and all the judge did was tell him off in both the case and settlement conference. No order to divide anything despite having full disclosure and Form 13.1 completed on both sides. This vicious ex has gotten away with murder and two different judges did nothing so we're going to trial. Because there are no kids involved.
Cases where children are involved -the basics are resolved faster.