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  • #16
    Originally posted by respondent View Post
    Anger has nothing to do with it, it is pure logic. Whatever they had on DOS, minus what they had on date of marriage is divided, so she got her share for that equally.


    Their kids are in school for years now. She was working before divorce, making 150k, but the moment she filed for divorce she suddenly decided that she can't work? Why would this be fair to children or to him? They both were working before the divorce, yet he chooses to continue supporting his children by working, yet she decides to take a free ride on a system. It is actually her behaviour and similar high earners that affects women who really can't work, or stayed home raising children and truly depended on husbands income.

    Anger has a lot to do with it. Whether you and other choose to admit it or not, the things you say in your posts show how angry you are at what you perceive to be unfair.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
      Anger has a lot to do with it. Whether you and other choose to admit it or not, the things you say in your posts show how angry you are at what you perceive to be unfair.
      it is a very convenient position to ignore facts presented, and blame on psychology, anger etc. etc. without zero proof.
      If both parents worked right before separation, it is a proper thing to do to continue working after separation as well, and she is well educated and capable - most of us could only dream having such education and licenses.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by respondent View Post
        it is a very convenient position to ignore facts presented, and blame on psychology, anger etc. etc. without zero proof.
        If both parents worked right before separation, it is a proper thing to do to continue working after separation as well, and she is well educated and capable - most of us could only dream having such education and licenses.

        Im not ignoring facts and a lot can be said from posts that ask questions/make reference to hiding assets and taking off due to unfairness.

        Both parents worked before kids and one gave up their career or put it on hold to have the kids. Pregnancy, child birth and maternity leave set a woman back. Having her go back to work would have been a decision they made as a couple. AlexLitty wants us to believe that his ex hoodwinked him into staying home. Now that they are separating it is a case of wanting her to go back to work and she doesn’t want to. Her lifestyle that was created during the marriage has been set. So his fight is to get her income imputed especially since she is in a field in demand. Otherwise he is left with a situation he was a part of pre-separation. Her argument that the children are used to her being around is quite valid especially in a high income marriage.

        I have to laugh at high earners who were complacent with their spouse staying home suddenly finding out they don’t get to force their spouse to go back to work because they don’t want to pay spousal. I also have to laugh at the idea that the high earner was not a part of the decision for their spouse to stay home. I am disgusted, however, by those who think they can simply bitch and complain that their spouse did nothing and is lazy because they stayed home. Inevitably, in families that have children, one party sacrificed more than the other (not was the only person who sacrificed—had more sacrifice than the other) to have the life they had. Just because one person earned more doesn’t mean that they can erase what the other did. Unless you have a nanny, housekeeper and chef doing all the home work 24/7, the spouse at home did do something.

        Not to mention the partner seeking ss has to demonstrate entitlement. It’s not a simply equation.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
          Im not ignoring facts and a lot can be said from posts that ask questions/make reference to hiding assets and taking off due to unfairness.

          Both parents worked before kids and one gave up their career or put it on hold to have the kids. Pregnancy, child birth and maternity leave set a woman back. Having her go back to work would have been a decision they made as a couple. AlexLitty wants us to believe that his ex hoodwinked him into staying home. Now that they are separating it is a case of wanting her to go back to work and she doesn�t want to. Her lifestyle that was created during the marriage has been set. So his fight is to get her income imputed especially since she is in a field in demand. Otherwise he is left with a situation he was a part of pre-separation. Her argument that the children are used to her being around is quite valid especially in a high income marriage.

          I have to laugh at high earners who were complacent with their spouse staying home suddenly finding out they don�t get to force their spouse to go back to work because they don�t want to pay spousal. I also have to laugh at the idea that the high earner was not a part of the decision for their spouse to stay home. I am disgusted, however, by those who think they can simply bitch and complain that their spouse did nothing and is lazy because they stayed home. Inevitably, in families that have children, one party sacrificed more than the other (not was the only person who sacrificed�had more sacrifice than the other) to have the life they had. Just because one person earned more doesn�t mean that they can erase what the other did. Unless you have a nanny, housekeeper and chef doing all the home work 24/7, the spouse at home did do something.

          Not to mention the partner seeking ss has to demonstrate entitlement. It�s not a simply equation.
          I don't believe she stayed at home before their divorce. I would understand if she stayed home during the entire relationships, or say ever since children born, but when mother was working perfectly fine for years until day of a divorce, but on a day of a divorce she suddenly unemployed.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by respondent View Post
            I don't believe she stayed at home before their divorce. I would understand if she stayed home during the entire relationships, or say ever since children born, but when mother was working perfectly fine for years until day of a divorce, but on a day of a divorce she suddenly unemployed.

            I wasn’t using OP in my post. I was generalizing. In almost all marriages one partner makes a sacrifice. Most of the time that is the female. It is not always the case (my husband sacrificed his career over his ex’s) but for the most part it is.

            For OP, for whatever reason his ex stopped working. She has some certifications she needs to do. He can argue that there is a shortage of family docs in Canada therefore once she is done her certifications she will be able to work. He should also have the info on what she needs to do and how long it will take her. Then he can argue that she is only entitled to a low amount of ss as she can be self sufficient quickly.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              I wasn�t using OP in my post. I was generalizing. In almost all marriages one partner makes a sacrifice. Most of the time that is the female. It is not always the case (my husband sacrificed his career over his ex�s) but for the most part it is.
              It is unfair then to judge him only because in most marriages female makes sacrifices (or at least you believe so).

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by respondent View Post
                It is unfair then to judge him only because in most marriages female makes sacrifices (or at least you believe so).

                Oh Im judging him for his other posts not what his wife sacrificed.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                  Oh Im judging him for his other posts not what his wife sacrificed.
                  I am judging you for being GENDER BIASED to men in all your posts . " This forum is not representative of the world ,its full of angry men " .These are your posts .

                  Before you throw shit on people and try your virtue signalling ,here are a few facts to chew on . All my assets on date of seperation have been declared .As per the book/law ,post seperation growth in asset value is not to be shared with the ex spouse if the asset is in your name . This is the clear law .
                  Unfortunately you are gender biased that that you justify sharing of these assets with an ex spouse just because she is a woman and not as savvy in investing .
                  I have nowehere , not agreed to share asset value on date of seperation ,if there are gender biased judges like you in the courts who would want to twist the law to make me share my asset gains after seperation day ,then I need to have a plan B . All assets can be moved abroad and I would love to show these gender baised self righteous judges that they can pass orders ,but we would need to see if it is applicable to me .

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Advise

                    Originally posted by AlexLitty View Post
                    I am judging you for being GENDER BIASED to men in all your posts . " This forum is not representative of the world ,its full of angry men " .These are your posts .

                    Before you throw shit on people and try your virtue signalling ,here are a few facts to chew on . All my assets on date of seperation have been declared .As per the book/law ,post seperation growth in asset value is not to be shared with the ex spouse if the asset is in your name . This is the clear law .
                    Unfortunately you are gender biased that that you justify sharing of these assets with an ex spouse just because she is a woman and not as savvy in investing .
                    I have nowehere , not agreed to share asset value on date of seperation ,if there are gender biased judges like you in the courts who would want to twist the law to make me share my asset gains after seperation day ,then I need to have a plan B . All assets can be moved abroad and I would love to show these gender baised self righteous judges that they can pass orders ,but we would need to see if it is applicable to me .

                    And here is another example of where you are demonstrating your poor behaviour. Also why I judge you for your actions.

                    There are plenty of men on this forum I have supported and even helped them offline. Including men who were dealing with manipulative and untruthful exes. There used to be a lot of really great male posters who gave great advice and helped men in difficult positions. The last year this forum has seen a lot of angry men looking for help skirting the courts. I call it the way I see it. You want respect, stop bitching about how unfair things are for you and how you plan to take off and avoid your responsibilities.
                    Last edited by rockscan; 08-03-2022, 04:55 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                      And here is another example of where you are demonstrating your poor behaviour. Also why I judge you for your actions.

                      There are plenty of men on this forum I have supported and even helped them offline. Including men who were dealing with manipulative and untruthful exes. There used to be a lot of really great male posters who gave great advice and helped men in difficult positions. The last year this forum has seen a lot of angry men looking for help skirting the courts. I call it the way I see it. You want respect, stop bitching about how unfair things are for you and how you plan to take off and avoid your responsibilities.
                      Another prime example of you showing the obvious gender bias . I call a spade ,a spade . I have seen lots of women going through with traumatic seperations from abusive husbands and unfortunately the law which is designed to help these women is being misused to brand all men as abusers . I am well within my rights to circumvent unfair court decisions on men from gender biased individuals in courts . This is not running away from responsibility but a unfair system where judges are unfair to men ...

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I have noticed the very old male judges seem to be biased compared to dealing with the older female judges…I would choose an older female judge any day over a male. I personally have only dealt with 2 females and 6 male judges. Sitting in court watching for whole days pretty much I can see why….I fully expect it…even my last court episode they put my ex as the applicant and me as a reply…it is just assumed whatever or wherever I am dealing with they assume it is my visit time with the kids or the mother is the caregiver…I am sure in the next decade or so that will totally change…even the school change default contact to the mother….government kept on auditing my situation and also making sure I prove to them I am the full time caregiver for 3 yrs straight. I am used to it and fully understand.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by AlexLitty View Post
                          I am well within my rights to circumvent unfair court decisions on men from gender biased individuals in courts . This is not running away from responsibility but a unfair system where judges are unfair to men ...
                          You’re assuming they are gender biased when they actually aren’t. Judges make their decisions based on the law and jurisprudence and if both fall on the side or your ex then they will rule in her favour. You call it circumventing but truly it is breaking the law and that doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you a criminal. And yes it is running away from responsibility. Your poor kids.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                            The last year this forum has seen a lot of angry men looking for help skirting the courts. I call it the way I see it. You want respect, stop bitching about how unfair things are for you and how you plan to take off and avoid your responsibilities.
                            As they say in England "there is no smoke without fire".

                            I had to fight for 3 years for the right to see my children, only because my ex unilaterally removed them from house. I was spending way more time with children before the separation, but court didn't care. They ordered 2 hours a week visitation as if I am some sort of criminal, and court didn't react when my ex refused me visitation. They also didn't even recommend my ex shared custody, let alone ordered, despite OCL reports were surprisingly more on my side, than on the side of my ex.

                            My ex lied in affidavit that she is unemployed, and on those grounds received enormous CS/SS. It later appeared she was making 6 digits. No one seemed to care at least on few SC, not even a comment from a judge, and we now have to go through motion to have it addressed.

                            I have a strong feeling if I was doing any of what she did, the very same judge would crucify me.

                            Even if we take money out of equation, my kids forever lost their father for 3 years of their life. I think it is direct responsibility of court for dragging it for so long. If courts overloaded, perhaps they need to do evaluation of their judges. Regardless of what decisions my judge makes or doesn't make, during the hearing he occupies 95% of the time talking some nonsense. I will admit that nonsense doesn't help either gender. Couples coming to court room to hear some recommendation or get an order. They don't come there to receive a lecture from a judge that should've retire 15 years ago about his life philosophy, that isn't connected to your case, and then get your case rescheduled in 8 months as judge ran out of time.
                            Last edited by respondent; 08-03-2022, 08:33 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              If you did not make the money you did, your issues would have been less

                              The courts are not designed to deal with these issues around kids and alienation.

                              You have lawyers who turn a blind eye to their clients behaviour.

                              Ocl can’t get it right sometimes either on bad parenting behaviour.

                              I feel your pain

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                People who have capital should complain less and hire better lawyers. Most of the complaints in this thread from the high income earners is the result of having the wrong representation.

                                Comment

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