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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 05-12-2020, 03:22 PM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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There is a very fine line between emotion and judgement
Sadly the legal system is kind of oblivious
This is not civil litigation about a paving contract
Wrong tool for helping families and kids

Maybe a top ten will inspire someone to quench the emotion

For me I tried hard never to take the bait . Sometimes I just had to.

If someone has not lived this directly personally and recently impossible to really understand.

Top 10 in process
“Don’t take the bait” is added
“Is this a hill you want to die on” as well (rockscan gem).
Visualize the HCEX as Super Mario/ Maria
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  #12  
Old 05-12-2020, 04:16 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abba435 View Post
Top 10 in process
“Don’t take the bait” is added
“Is this a hill you want to die on” as well (rockscan gem).
Visualize the HCEX as Super Mario/ Maria
Add: "Treat all written correspondence (email/text) as though it will be read by a judge, because it eventually will"
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  #13  
Old 05-12-2020, 04:56 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Default Your BEST tip for dealing with high conflict ex or coparent

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Originally Posted by Mom2414 View Post
I would be filing contempt and representing myself. If the facts show a clear violation of the court order, be patient/calm and work with the court system.
Contempt is a mountain that many fail to conquer. Even if you file a motion and self rep for contempt, the likelihood of succeeding is slim. To anyone reading this and seeing this as an option, educate yourself. Sometimes the court system is not a solution and if you lose you could end up paying your ex’s legal costs. Mediation is an option but both parties have to be willing and pay to play. Parenting coordinators have been found to be helpful in some cases. My caveat is more to warn that contempt is normally used for custody and financial matters and is rarely successful.

Note too that agreements are great in the beginning but things change as life goes on. Kids like different activities, other opportunities come up, families change and see different growth etc. You will outgrow some aspects of your agreement and both parties need to be flexible. An example would be one parent saying kid wants to play soccer instead of hockey and I will cover the extra fees this year, will you allow this change knowing there is no financial impact to you. Some parents (including non high conflict) tend to get enmeshed in the agreements and aren’t able to deviate without mediation or court intervention. This results in a high conflict situation.

Stillbreathing had a great response on another thread regarding what happens on your time vs. their time. Some parents become high conflict by trying to make the other parent do what they think best on their time. You don’t get a say so stop worrying. Parenting decisions on individual times is a

Hammerdad has a lot of experience with a terribly high conflict ex. His approach and advice is stellar.
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  #14  
Old 05-12-2020, 05:00 PM
Mom2414 Mom2414 is offline
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Three contempt motions won and not financially driven. Custody Schedules, health, education, name changes and religion are real family court matters.


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  #15  
Old 05-12-2020, 05:29 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Interesting, what did they involve?
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  #16  
Old 05-12-2020, 05:36 PM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Lots of us have much to offer each other
Maybe after cruising this forum for 10 years credibility is earned
I plan to be very long gone
My thread seems to be irresistible
Is there a tip for the Top 10 as in the thread title?
This is a Parenting Issues topic for parents that have issues to ask for assistance from other parents.
Parents.
Thank you.

Last edited by Abba435; 05-12-2020 at 05:48 PM.
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  #17  
Old 05-12-2020, 05:37 PM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2414 View Post
Three contempt motions won and not financially driven. Custody Schedules, health, education, name changes and religion are real family court matters.


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Awesome!!!!
No details needed
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  #18  
Old 05-12-2020, 06:52 PM
Kinso Kinso is offline
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Quote:
Have there been decisions ordering appointment of a Parenting Coordinator with binding authority?
No. Judges cannot delegate their authority to a third party without the consent of the persons signing the agreement. There is no statute in Ontario that permits this and the common law forbids it.

Where Judges have tried this, it has been found to be a reversible error.
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  #19  
Old 05-12-2020, 07:16 PM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinso View Post
No. Judges cannot delegate their authority to a third party without the consent of the persons signing the agreement. There is no statute in Ontario that permits this and the common law forbids it.

Where Judges have tried this, it has been found to be a reversible error.
There have been decisions that have then been turned into consent orders?
I recently heard a trial judge respond to a lawyer who questioned this when I raised it in testimony that he believed he could make such an order. Interesting. Thank you Kinso.
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  #20  
Old 05-12-2020, 07:58 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinso View Post
No. Judges cannot delegate their authority to a third party without the consent of the persons signing the agreement. There is no statute in Ontario that permits this and the common law forbids it.

Where Judges have tried this, it has been found to be a reversible error.
Can judges order high conflict parents to participate in co-parenting counseling, where the parents hopefully learn to get along and respect one another? I fully understand that the unreasonable parent can just sit there cross-armed and cross eyed, but it can also be seen as the judge sending a message to smarten up with the petty crap.
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