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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 04-25-2020, 08:32 AM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Default Communication protocol

Question:
Joint custody and one parent breaches agreement regularly by making unilateral decisions about schools, religion, medical etc.
This causes escalating conflict.
Other parent tries to get into mediation, counselling etc. adn insists on compliance with joint decision making.
Breaching parent is abusive so other parent says no more emails/text/phone (as is in communication protocol) until abuse stops. Asks for written communication instead.
Breaching parent sues for sole custody saying communication has broken down so claims sole custody.
You be the judge.
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Old 04-25-2020, 01:30 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Iíd say you were doing all the right things, and itís clear other parent wants to pretend you donít exist.
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Old 04-25-2020, 02:37 PM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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I exist as long as I comply and do not insist on joint parenting. I picked my hills to die on very carefully. Noone is ever blameless and I was guilty of pushing back but always as respectfully as possible. Stay tuned.
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Old 04-25-2020, 03:46 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Did you get your decision yet?
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Old 04-25-2020, 08:09 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Why would email and texting not be considered to be written communication?
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Old 04-25-2020, 08:21 PM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Email was to be primary mode
Became volatile
I insisted on letters until respectful communication was maintained
This was not respected despite provision in agreement to walk away from disrespectful communication
Part of a long period of unneeded acrimony.
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Old 04-25-2020, 10:14 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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I fail to understand the difference between email and written letter.

My situation is acrimonious as well, and my ex refuses to respond via written form as she is aware she is acting like a controlling bully....and is afraid of how she looks in paper trail. Rather she telephones me to respond, with back up due to me electing to email her rather than call, and then verbally bullies/guilts me into caving into allowing her to get away with her nonsense crap. FML

Abba are you still in the court process? Your initial message sounds like your ex is re-opening custody claiming she cannot work with you as parents

Last edited by LovingDad1234; 04-25-2020 at 10:18 PM.
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Old 04-26-2020, 06:44 AM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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The abuse in email and text was ridiculous and exhausting
Back and forth , lies, insults, toxic
So I from time to time would refuse and insist on letters oniy to preserve my sanity
Their claim was entirely based on my periodic refusals to email as was in the agreement communication clause. Same clause provided you could suspend communication if it was contentious and resume later. So I was not in strict compliance.
They argued communication was contentious
But they including a highly adversarial lawyer caused 95% of the acrimony especially by insisting they had unilateral rights.
Incredibly her lawyer said this in writing that the agreement was voidable. But never made any claim to void. My life c relied on that insane advice.
Still waiting for the ruling

Last edited by Abba435; 04-26-2020 at 06:49 AM.
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Old 04-26-2020, 08:29 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Sorry to hear you are having difficulties with ex. You may wish to consider only using Our Family Wizard. There is a nominal cost but the program includes a tone meter to correct negative communication.

She is going for sole because SHE cannot be grown up enough to talk like a responsible parent with the other parent? She causes the conflict and then turns around and says joint custody isnít working? Judges smell this from 10 miles away and she will lose. Trying to punish kids and get rewarded for bad behaviour....lots of case law calls this out
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Old 04-26-2020, 09:00 AM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Trial was in early March
What a waste of time
We tried OFW 4 years ago and it was
just another venue to slag me at every opportunity and drag simple things out
I do not have clean hands as out of extreme frustration with this and other issues I stopped ss trying to force mediation
That backfired. But it was after the train wrecks that were pretty much daily.
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