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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 08-05-2015, 09:44 AM
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SomeGuy SomeGuy is offline
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I'm in exactly the same boat.... but have a final court order to work with.

Since the day that order was issued not a word has been spoken between us. I get EVERYTHING in writing. We communicate ONLY by email. And even then she still bends, twists, turns and contradicts herself.

My court order says "all s.7 expenses must be agreed to in writing in advance"... if she didn't ask (or I say no).. I don't pay... and it's happened many times.

Unfortunate... but it's the only way to preserve some semblance of sanity.
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Old 08-05-2015, 10:14 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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This happens with any unreasonable person. You can have a court order and they wont care. You can demonstrate the law and they wont care. Uncooperative simply dont care. More than that, they WILL drag your name through mud with the kids because its their only recourse. You have to keep reassuring the kids that these things are not their business, that you are paying, that its unfortunate mom/dad has chosen to drag them into it and that it is a discussion you will have with mom.

Funny, for a year my partner dealt with the guilt of feeling obligated to pay for everything. When he said no to some ridiculous things he bore the wrath of both kids telling him he wasnt fair. The kids bitched about how their lives sucked and they couldnt afford anything. In the last year hes learned they still do big shopping trips, go away all summer, are enrolled in expensive s7 activities over and over and they have been given expensive gifts for birthdays. They arent suffering and if mom is in debt as a result, its her problem for not saying no.
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Old 08-05-2015, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
This happens with any unreasonable person. You can have a court order and they wont care. You can demonstrate the law and they wont care. Uncooperative simply dont care. More than that, they WILL drag your name through mud with the kids because its their only recourse.
^^^That's a fact! I have a final divorce decree where I made several concessions hoping to finally have some peace, no such luck! Ex disregards half of the court orders ... he simply does as he pleases.

I can't afford to take him back to court - even if I did, what use would it do? contempt being practically impossible to pursue, a waste of time and energy. Who wants to spend the next 10 years trying to force an unreasonable person to do the right thing? If Ex had any honor in him, we would still be together?

It's one thing to mess my life up but when his selfishness affects our son, that's nothing less than hateful!

He don't care ...... he can afford a lawyer.

Last edited by Janibel; 08-05-2015 at 10:41 AM.
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