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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #21  
Old 02-03-2014, 02:58 PM
good_mom good_mom is offline
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For the information about potential move; have you made a request for infromation to your ex via e-mail?
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  #22  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:09 PM
Gooddadbadbreak Gooddadbadbreak is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by good_mom View Post
For the information about potential move; have you made a request for infromation to your ex via e-mail?
No I haven't yet.
As I said earlier it's a rumour I heard.
I need to know if I can block her moving before I confront her!!

My ex wife will only communicate with me in an emergency situation, or about the health or safety of my daughter anything else is ignored.
She's special like that!
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  #23  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:17 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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It is a material change in circumstance and you can file a motion to prevent the relocation of the child, but then a judge will determine, using the critea set out in Gordon v Goertz (best interests of the child) whether or not to grant the move.

You will need to provide evidence why the move isn't in the child's best interests. Your ex will have to provide evidence that it is in the child's best interests. A judge will determine based off of the evidence. But based on the info provided, it is unlikely you would be successful in preventing the move. The child doesn't see you regularly, you don't pay child support (notwithstanding income/employment) and you already live some distance apart. You will have a tough uphill climb to prove that the child's moving isn't in their best interests. It isn't impossible, just extremely difficult. If you had a regular relationship with the child and been exercising parenting time, your odds would be much better.

But all that said, all you have right now is rumor. Until you are told that they are moving, I wouldn't bother myself with it and I certainly wouldn't "confront" the ex about it. If you do get notice they intend to move, you reply that you don't consent to the relocation of the child and will seek an order preventing same. But I wouldn't stress over a "what if" or rumor.
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  #24  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:18 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Going to give you my honest opinion... I don't think you will have any help from the courts. You do not have a meaningful relationship with your daughter. You say this is because the Judge gave her the decision, but it seems your access was removed and one can assume (since you won't provide details) that it was for the safety and welfare of your child. You don't pay any Child Support... I find it hard to believe you cannot even find a part time job... Walmart, Tim Hortons, McDonalds... they are all hiring, always...

You have no access she the move will not affect the relationship with your daughter, since there is no relationship to begin with. If the move is for the Mother, or even her partner, to have a better job, then the chances of you stopping it are slim to none, seeing as they are the ones supporting your daughter.

The mother has no reason to communicate with you unless it is an emergency or about the health and safety of your daughter. She has no reason to communicate with you about access or about her life. Unfortunately somewhere along the way you made a mistake, which cost you the access to your daughter. It is unfortunate, but if you cannot take care of yourself, how can you take care of your daughter?

I assume you are on Ontario Works, since you don't work and don't pay child support. Your first step in getting your daughter back in your life is by getting your life on track. She is a teenager and can basically choose where she wants to go. There has been case law regarding teens not being able to decide, but in those cases I believe there was parental alienation going on, in your case a Judge took your access away years ago and then left the decision up to your daughter.

Since you asked for opinion.. it is my opinion that you should just not even both and let your daughter live the life she knows with her Mom and new spouse. It isn't the greatest for you, but this is about your daughter and not you.
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  #25  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:24 PM
Gooddadbadbreak Gooddadbadbreak is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
It is a material change in circumstance and you can file a motion to prevent the relocation of the child, but then a judge will determine, using the critea set out in Gordon v Goertz (best interests of the child) whether or not to grant the move.

You will need to provide evidence why the move isn't in the child's best interests. Your ex will have to provide evidence that it is in the child's best interests. A judge will determine based off of the evidence. But based on the info provided, it is unlikely you would be successful in preventing the move. The child doesn't see you regularly, you don't pay child support (notwithstanding income/employment) and you already live some distance apart. You will have a tough uphill climb to prove that the child's moving isn't in their best interests. It isn't impossible, just extremely difficult. If you had a regular relationship with the child and been exercising parenting time, your odds would be much better.


But all that said, all you have right now is rumor. Until you are told that they are moving, I wouldn't bother myself with it and I certainly wouldn't "confront" the ex about it. If you do get notice they intend to move, you reply that you don't consent to the relocation of the child and will seek an order preventing same. But I wouldn't stress over a "what if" or rumor.
So I've been worrying for nothing about that clause in the separation agreement?
Thank you HammerDad!
I will do everything in my power to block it, if she does try to move!!!!!
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  #26  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:26 PM
Gooddadbadbreak Gooddadbadbreak is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Going to give you my honest opinion... I don't think you will have any help from the courts. You do not have a meaningful relationship with your daughter. You say this is because the Judge gave her the decision, but it seems your access was removed and one can assume (since you won't provide details) that it was for the safety and welfare of your child. You don't pay any Child Support... I find it hard to believe you cannot even find a part time job... Walmart, Tim Hortons, McDonalds... they are all hiring, always...

You have no access she the move will not affect the relationship with your daughter, since there is no relationship to begin with. If the move is for the Mother, or even her partner, to have a better job, then the chances of you stopping it are slim to none, seeing as they are the ones supporting your daughter.

The mother has no reason to communicate with you unless it is an emergency or about the health and safety of your daughter. She has no reason to communicate with you about access or about her life. Unfortunately somewhere along the way you made a mistake, which cost you the access to your daughter. It is unfortunate, but if you cannot take care of yourself, how can you take care of your daughter?

I assume you are on Ontario Works, since you don't work and don't pay child support. Your first step in getting your daughter back in your life is by getting your life on track. She is a teenager and can basically choose where she wants to go. There has been case law regarding teens not being able to decide, but in those cases I believe there was parental alienation going on, in your case a Judge took your access away years ago and then left the decision up to your daughter.

Since you asked for opinion.. it is my opinion that you should just not even both and let your daughter live the life she knows with her Mom and new spouse. It isn't the greatest for you, but this is about your daughter and not you.
I am NOT on welfare!!!!
I am looking for work and right now my girlfriend is helping me out.
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  #27  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:33 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
So I've been worrying for nothing about that clause in the separation agreement?
Thank you HammerDad!
I will do everything in my power to block it, if she does try to move!!!!!
Until you are told they are moving, I wouldn't worry. I assume the clause says something along the lines of she can't relocate with the child over X distance without your consent or court order. There will probably be some sort of notice provision to, but maybe not.

Should you get wind of an actual move, you can send notice to your ex that you don't consent to the relocation of the child and that according to clause X of the agreement, the child's residence shall be maintained within Y km's of your house (or whatever the clause provides). She will then have to file a motion in court to get the courts permission to move the child. Your success depends on you proving that the move is not in the kids best interests and it would adversely affect your relationship. It will be an uphill battle given what you've provided. To be honest, I don't think you be successful and it would likely cost you thousands in legal fees. Your legal fees, and depending on whether or not the judge deems your lack consent unreasonable, maybe your ex's legal fees.

But again, stewing over something that may happen isn't a productive use of your time and energy.
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  #28  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:40 PM
Gooddadbadbreak Gooddadbadbreak is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
Until you are told they are moving, I wouldn't worry. I assume the clause says something along the lines of she can't relocate with the child over X distance without your consent or court order. There will probably be some sort of notice provision to, but maybe not.

Should you get wind of an actual move, you can send notice to your ex that you don't consent to the relocation of the child and that according to clause X of the agreement, the child's residence shall be maintained within Y km's of your house (or whatever the clause provides). She will then have to file a motion in court to get the courts permission to move the child. Your success depends on you proving that the move is not in the kids best interests and it would adversely affect your relationship. It will be an uphill battle given what you've provided. To be honest, I don't think you be successful and it would likely cost you thousands in legal fees. Your legal fees, and depending on whether or not the judge deems your lack consent unreasonable, maybe your ex's legal fees.

But again, stewing over something that may happen isn't a productive use of your time and energy.
This is word for word what it says!
It also became part of the final order.

We had lawyers draw up a separation agreement when we separated in 2008 it says
"if myself or my ex propose to change his or her residence 50kms from address XX he or she will give his or her new address and telephone number to the other"

By the look of it all she has to do is supply me with the address and phone number!!

I'm screwed!
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  #29  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:50 PM
DAHP_01_05_12 DAHP_01_05_12 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
I don't owe it!
The final order states I don't have to pay child support!

As a father, whether you speak to your child or not, you are OBLIGATED to pay support.
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  #30  
Old 02-03-2014, 03:53 PM
Gooddadbadbreak Gooddadbadbreak is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DAHP_01_05_12 View Post
As a father, whether you speak to your child or not, you are OBLIGATED to pay support.
Thank you for your opinion!
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