Ex demands yet again....

[doingmybest]

Hi

Ok, so just when you think it is safe and things will go smoothly for the summer......

Basically after my ex did not let us know his summer visitation intentions, we asked him for them. He asked for an extra month to think about it, we gave him that....and that brought us to June. In June, he requested visitation as followed:
four days in AUg.

(court order says he can have 7 days in July and 7 days in Aug...not conseq.). And he asked for 4 days in Aug. A lawyer then explained to him what he had asked for, we reconfirmed it all, including drop off and pick up times...for the Aug dates. ( we write everything down in a journal, part of our court agreement)



He calls Sunday am, demanding to see his child, using much profanity and threatening court action, stating I am preventing him from seeing his child.... (this phone call lasted almost 1 hr of him screaming and swearing at the mediator who took the call)

When he calmed down, we asked him to email his new requests for summer visitation. We are trying to be a amicable as possible. He is still threatening court action.

So...what are the chances, if he does take me to court, of him winning this?
I was merely going by what he asked for.....nowhere did he request Sunday.

I am so confused.

Does anyone else go through this? Does it ever get any easier?

Suggestions? My daughter is 6, I cannot keep going through this, nor can she. She has playdates and plans, is it realistic for him to call and demand more access after dates have been set and court ordered timelines been extended, and extended again for him?

I just want to live peacefully.

Thanks for letting me get it out there and I really do appreciate any comments. Helps me think things through.

[standing on the sidelines]

what is his normal access? Is it every other weekend and the summer was for more chunks of days at one time, like a week vs. the normal couple of days? I think that NCP and the CP have to learn to be flexible. Sure he acted like an ass by calling and ranting like he did at your mediator (who is the mediator? I cannot see a court appointed one working on a sunday morning)

[doingmybest]

His normal access is every other Sunday 10am til Monday school drop off in the morning. According to the court order: this stops with summer holidays and visitation changes to up to 7 days in July and 7 days in Aug, not together. He was suppose to give these dates by May 1st, he did not, I requested, he then gave them June 1st and we had a lawyer present.

He has phoned last minute or the day of and changed/given up access 25 times since last Aug 2008. Every time I have been flexible and worked what is best for my daughter.

[standing on the sidelines]

His normal access is every other Sunday 10am til Monday school drop off in the morning. According to the court order: this stops with summer holidays and visitation changes to up to 7 days in July and 7 days in Aug, not together. He was suppose to give these dates by May 1st, he did not, I requested, he then gave them June 1st and we had a lawyer present.

He has phoned last minute or the day of and changed/given up access 25 times since last Aug 2008. Every time I have been flexible and worked what is best for my daughter.

so sad considering there are some NCP on this site who would give anything to be in his position and spend as much time with their child.

[doingmybest]

if I had one of those NCPs I don't think I would be divorced.....

[independentgal]

It is only your ex's fault for not willing to abide by the order.

Your behaviour is not going to change your ex's behaviour and ultimate motives. He obviously has issues with you, it sounds like a control thing. You are not in the wrong. Your court order sounds clear. It is his fault. Go on with your summer and don't worry about it. It is too bad your daughter will only see four days of her dad, but that is your ex's choice, not your fault.

Access as set out in court orders is not only so the NCP can see the children, it is to give your child stability, so that she knows exactly when she is going to her other parents. It is damaging to a child to expect to see a parent and be disappointed that many times.

Don't bend over backwards for your ex, if he had true intentions to see his daughter as much as he could, he would not miss over 25 weekends in the last 11 months. This time in the summer sounds like he wouldn't take her anyway even if you changed the order again for his latest rant.

[DadofTwoGirls]

First, why would you listen for an hour to abuse on the phone. You can hang up.

Second, is it about the paper agreement or the kid? If his request is workable, then why no just agree to it? Play dates are less important that a child's time with a parent.

Good luck. I feel your frustration.