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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 06-27-2018, 11:48 PM
WorryAnne WorryAnne is offline
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Default Custody and Access case

Can a custody and access proceeding be withdrawn ?

Very lengthy case but in short, the Applicant now accepts the difficult & fragile situation, and chooses to let time heal , and believes that sometimes in life, things have to naturally change when children are matured in life than to force children to just change or pretend to go along with therapy or court's order.

Besides Applicant has no more funds to fight cases in courts, lawyers, therapist, mediator, counselor. And Applicant feels strongly that anymore procedures or court's order will only damage totally the relationship and the kids are now 16 and 14.... And one has opted to stop therapy session.

Can one withdraw court proceeding in order not to add unnecessary stress to the children and not to create mental breakdown to the children ?

Is it natural that the lawyers will continue to push the court proceeding even Applicant discussed with lawyer to stop this proceeding ?
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:46 AM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Make a formal Offer to Settle?
Your ex has also invested 4 years of her life to fight this battle.
Who is going to pay her legal fees?
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Old 07-08-2018, 04:33 AM
WorryAnne WorryAnne is offline
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What are other alternative besides offer to settle?
Sounds like itís all about money to the ex...

What about the Applicantís time, money, wound and broken relationship? Itís
worse for the Applicant to have been hurt on goingly for being Alienated by his ex and now feels that the ages of the kids are at a fragile age where there is not to the best interest of the kids to keep forcing them to attend reunification therapist again or s30 or any further court orders if they have repeatedly showing, telling and indicating clearly that they do not want to see the Applicant at the moment in life.

Any other ways to manage this?
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Old 07-08-2018, 04:52 PM
foreverhome foreverhome is offline
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Kida are 16 and 14. If they don't want to see a therapist or whoever - they don't have to. No one can make them so see anyone.
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Old 07-08-2018, 06:09 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Unfortunately your ex has proven what is broken with family law. That the lack of punishment allows one parent to poison the kids against the other. You wonít be able to force two teens to do something they donít want to do.

Where are you at in the process? Headed for trial or in conference hell? Have you had any indication from a judge on what they would order? Has the therapist recommended anything?

If you are close to a trial or making progress in conferences you may want to stick with it. If you are just starting and realizing there is nowhere to go then quit while you are ahead. Keep reminding your children you love them and the door is always open. Send regular messages. Dont engage with your ex on anything that can be twisted to make you look bad.

As tough as this is, when the children are no longer with their alienating parent all the time they will start to see clearer. I would highly recommend the book ďA Familys HeartbreakĒ by Mike Jeffries. It will help you cope and understand.
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:53 AM
WorryAnne WorryAnne is offline
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Thank you foreverhome and rockscan for the sharing. Thatís what we thought so.

At this ages, we are not sure if forcing the teens to go through another process of s30 would be a better idea other than the stress and hatred that will be created in these teens who have all the rights to eventually choose to just ask to stop seeing the other parent totally.
At the moment, before the 16 years old request to stop therapy (where he only meet a parent during therapy and not meeting anywhere else), the therapy asks that he do reply the parentís email and messages. So, he has now start replying to a parent selectively when he feels like it.

At the moment, a case conference is coming. A trail date has been set in 3 months. But with all that have been going on, itís been a parent that going to court will only trigger an s30 as there is currently no other way to drill out the causes of the alienation although itís obvious, then after s30, there will be a potential of another therapist (3rd therapy) to try to help again.

So, talking with lawyers, if applicant agrees to stop (or like you say quit) the process.... whatís the consequences without having to pay a high price for the other parent?

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