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  • Major medical decision

    What does “major medical decision” entail exactly in a separation agreement?

  • #2
    Depends. If it’s life threatening and one parent has to make a decision in that moment then anything in the agreement means nothing.

    My understanding of major medical decisions is testing that is unnecessary and would harm the child, plastic surgery, laser eye surgery, seeing a therapist, taking a medication that has unknown or serious side effects.

    It can be open to interpretation.

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    • #3
      in my SA we spelled out what major medical decisions were- including introduction to qualified medical specialist aside from D3's pediatrician, allergist and dermatologist. Taking her to a new specialist was considered a major medical decision. Elective surgeries and treatments were also major medical decisions. While I have sole custody- I do have to consult with D3's dad on major medical decisions, and give him time to respond and sign any forms and attend with D3 if he has any questions. If we cannot agree- we have to attend with our co-parenting counsellor....and if we STILL cannot agree- I get final say- but I'm not allowed to charge him any s7 expenses.

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      • #4
        Thanks for the feedback, I do not want my ex to have full authority over medical decisions. I am trying to figure out the things I include as major in my SA.

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        • #5
          Generally, for something major you are likely going to be following the advice of the doctor. If the parents disagree, the judge will probably go along with the medical advice.

          I think if you are going to fight for control, education is the best one.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
            in my SA we spelled out what major medical decisions were- including introduction to qualified medical specialist aside from D3's pediatrician, allergist and dermatologist. Taking her to a new specialist was considered a major medical decision. Elective surgeries and treatments were also major medical decisions. While I have sole custody- I do have to consult with D3's dad on major medical decisions, and give him time to respond and sign any forms and attend with D3 if he has any questions. If we cannot agree- we have to attend with our co-parenting counsellor....and if we STILL cannot agree- I get final say- but I'm not allowed to charge him any s7 expenses.
            I have always tried to wrap my head around that, Basically you do have final say but you just have more hoops to jump through first. If he disagrees with you, he really has no say anyways. While I agree it is nice to make these decisions jointly in the grand scheme of things it doesnt always work out that way. Instead of someone having false hope that they have a say, why not just have one person look after medical, one after education etc?

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            • #7
              Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
              I have always tried to wrap my head around that, Basically you do have final say but you just have more hoops to jump through first. If he disagrees with you, he really has no say anyways. While I agree it is nice to make these decisions jointly in the grand scheme of things it doesnt always work out that way. Instead of someone having false hope that they have a say, why not just have one person look after medical, one after education etc?
              lol. I was waiting for someone to call me out on that. Yes- essentially that IS what it does- makes us both jump through more hoops. And I have final say at the end of the day anyways.

              The thing with our agreement is that I have sole custody and final decision making rights over everything. I never planned to cut D3's dad out of those decisions. And me putting this in the agreement provides lip service that helped him be okay with giving me sole custody. tbh- we do make decisions more like shared custody. but given the history between us- I just didn't want to be in a position to have to beg him to get her medical decisions made (he's done it in the past). The way it has shaked out a year later- I do most of the decision making anyways as he's usually just like "whatever you think is best. Do I have to pay for it?" - and the answer is "no- my insurance covers it".

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