Hi,
I know this has likely been put to the group hundreds of times over (and I did find and excellent earlier post from 2013 http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...sidence-14033/)
Our story- 4.75 years ago my SO and EX separated, with two young children. SO and I have been together just over 4 years but have know each other since high school. EX has been in minimum two relationships in that same time, reportedly with a restraining order against the first. The custody battle has never stopped, even after the final order as it was vague in a few respects. We argue that we have shared custody (over 40%), EX argues we do not. We were back in court already arguing for a more definitive custody plan, when EX slips in a motion to allow her to relocate the children 2hrs away to be with her BF.
We knew this would happen (if she could hold onto him long enough) and SO expressed this to the OCL 2 years ago. It's in her report that SO had this concern but that EX told OCL that she had no intention of moving to maintain stability in the children's lives and relationships with family. The OCL recommended a clause that the parents remain in this region to facilitate the children's lives, which is in the order.
EX cites being in a long term relationship (for longer than they have been), that they are serious and hope to move in together and that among other "reasons" BF cannot move out here due to his work. She cites that this is in the best interest of the children to relocate them and is willing to give SO more weekends and summer (but far less than SO currently has) and reduce support due to travel expenses. EX has not mentioned anything about her own employment as her current company works only in our area, meaning should would have to leave her 4th (or 5th) job in as many years. There is no explanation of how this is in the children's best interest.
ALL of SO and EX family is in this area along with the children's school, friends and activities. The children are in elementary school - Eldest child an early junior and youngest is in her early primary years. Eldest has educational, emotional and social needs that have required counselling from the regions must respected child psychologist and developmental therapist for 3 years. Although EX was the one to request the services initially, SO has been the only one taking him as we see and understand his continued emotional and mental struggles. EX has verbalized to eldest that she doesn't know why he still goes. Eldest also has a very strong bond with his paternal grandmother who lives very close to both SO and EX. SO has a fairly significant support structure of educators that help us to work within the eldest's educational needs (although not a severe delay, but he does need extra assistance), EX has no such support structure. Eldest and I work well together and I can see that he is not getting the continued practice with EX on his scholastic skills when he is away from us. The youngest is otherwise a well-adjusted little girl, but she has lived with this lifestyle from a very young age.
(Side note - EX has refused them play dates and birthday parties in favour of her own desire to travel to be with BF.)
Although the transitions will be a nightmare fighting through traffic, we have no issues with her moving per se, however, we firmly believe it is in the children's best interest to remain here with us. We would grant EX the same access she proposed for us and would waive any support. This is a stable home with two parents and two kids, where they are our sole focus. EX wants to move them into a blended family who they are comfortable with, but do not get the focus that is required.
We see this as being purely selfish move by EX and the kids are simply luggage to her.
What do we need to do here? What are our chances?
SO is destraught that he could virtually lose his kids.
I know this has likely been put to the group hundreds of times over (and I did find and excellent earlier post from 2013 http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...sidence-14033/)
Our story- 4.75 years ago my SO and EX separated, with two young children. SO and I have been together just over 4 years but have know each other since high school. EX has been in minimum two relationships in that same time, reportedly with a restraining order against the first. The custody battle has never stopped, even after the final order as it was vague in a few respects. We argue that we have shared custody (over 40%), EX argues we do not. We were back in court already arguing for a more definitive custody plan, when EX slips in a motion to allow her to relocate the children 2hrs away to be with her BF.
We knew this would happen (if she could hold onto him long enough) and SO expressed this to the OCL 2 years ago. It's in her report that SO had this concern but that EX told OCL that she had no intention of moving to maintain stability in the children's lives and relationships with family. The OCL recommended a clause that the parents remain in this region to facilitate the children's lives, which is in the order.
EX cites being in a long term relationship (for longer than they have been), that they are serious and hope to move in together and that among other "reasons" BF cannot move out here due to his work. She cites that this is in the best interest of the children to relocate them and is willing to give SO more weekends and summer (but far less than SO currently has) and reduce support due to travel expenses. EX has not mentioned anything about her own employment as her current company works only in our area, meaning should would have to leave her 4th (or 5th) job in as many years. There is no explanation of how this is in the children's best interest.
ALL of SO and EX family is in this area along with the children's school, friends and activities. The children are in elementary school - Eldest child an early junior and youngest is in her early primary years. Eldest has educational, emotional and social needs that have required counselling from the regions must respected child psychologist and developmental therapist for 3 years. Although EX was the one to request the services initially, SO has been the only one taking him as we see and understand his continued emotional and mental struggles. EX has verbalized to eldest that she doesn't know why he still goes. Eldest also has a very strong bond with his paternal grandmother who lives very close to both SO and EX. SO has a fairly significant support structure of educators that help us to work within the eldest's educational needs (although not a severe delay, but he does need extra assistance), EX has no such support structure. Eldest and I work well together and I can see that he is not getting the continued practice with EX on his scholastic skills when he is away from us. The youngest is otherwise a well-adjusted little girl, but she has lived with this lifestyle from a very young age.
(Side note - EX has refused them play dates and birthday parties in favour of her own desire to travel to be with BF.)
Although the transitions will be a nightmare fighting through traffic, we have no issues with her moving per se, however, we firmly believe it is in the children's best interest to remain here with us. We would grant EX the same access she proposed for us and would waive any support. This is a stable home with two parents and two kids, where they are our sole focus. EX wants to move them into a blended family who they are comfortable with, but do not get the focus that is required.
We see this as being purely selfish move by EX and the kids are simply luggage to her.
What do we need to do here? What are our chances?
SO is destraught that he could virtually lose his kids.
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