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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 01-21-2014, 10:16 AM
Serene Serene is offline
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Default Offers to Settle - Some things we learned

If it isn't signed by the party offering it, it is not valid.

Always make it expire 1 minute after the motion/trial/court appearance. There is case law out there where the father made an offer to settle and it did not expire. The trial was over a few days. As the trial went on the mother realized that things were not going well for her so she accepted the offer to settle just before a decision was to be given by the judge. No costs could be sought as a result. I do not have the caselaw link or info to provide, this was told to us by the lawyer we used in the background in preparation of our trial.

Offer your position (another offer within the offer) should your offer to settle not be accepted. Something like: ...in the event that this offer is not accepted I am willing to pay XX in child support, etc.

Don't just waive certain costs in your offer, seek to "waive and release". Apparently waiving means putting them aside in legal terms but it does not release you from those costs.

Make your offers only acceptable in whole and not in part. That way they can't pick and choose what they want as most offers tend to be wholesome in their approach (you would be willing to waive arrears if they absorbed something else kind of thing).

Spell out why you are offering what you are. For instance, we spelled out that we were offering XX amount of dollars more than we were obligated to for extra curricular and said why we were doing this and the benefits to the other party. This served multiple purposes. 1. It told the other party the benefits that she could discuss with her lawyer and 2. It also would tell a judge a story when and if the judge came to read the offers if and when dealing with costs for trial.

If I think of more things I will post here.
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Old 01-21-2014, 10:33 AM
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Quote:
If it isn't signed by the party offering it, it is not valid.
Ther is mention of that in the rules...so yes

Quote:
Always make it expire 1 minute after the motion/trial/court appearance.
That goes without saying, Orleans Lawyer has mentioned that numerous times.

Quote:
Offer your position (another offer within the offer) should your offer to settle not be accepted. Something like: ...in the event that this offer is not accepted I am willing to pay XX in child support, etc.
Thanks for this nugget *high five*
Quote:

Don't just waive certain costs in your offer, seek to "waive and release". Apparently waiving means putting them aside in legal terms but it does not release you from those costs.
Please elaborate on this....and thank you!

Quote:
Make your offers only acceptable in whole and not in part. That way they can't pick and choose what they want as most offers tend to be wholesome in their approach (you would be willing to waive arrears if they absorbed something else kind of thing).
Thank you


Quote:
Spell out why you are offering what you are. For instance, we spelled out that we were offering XX amount of dollars more than we were obligated to for extra curricular and said why we were doing this and the benefits to the other party.
Very nice


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If I think of more things I will post here.
Much appreciated...please do
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  #3  
Old 01-21-2014, 12:15 PM
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most excellent. Thanks.
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Old 01-21-2014, 12:38 PM
Serene Serene is offline
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Don't just waive certain costs in your offer, seek to "waive and release". Apparently waiving means putting them aside in legal terms but it does not release you from those costs.

Please elaborate on this....and thank you!

Waiving in legal terms means you choose not to deal with them at the moment. But you have NOT been released from them. So you must waive and release for the right to collect to be abolished.
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Old 01-21-2014, 01:55 PM
MS Mom MS Mom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
If it isn't signed by the party offering it, it is not valid.

Always make it expire 1 minute after the motion/trial/court appearance. There is case law out there where the father made an offer to settle and it did not expire. The trial was over a few days. As the trial went on the mother realized that things were not going well for her so she accepted the offer to settle just before a decision was to be given by the judge. No costs could be sought as a result. I do not have the caselaw link or info to provide, this was told to us by the lawyer we used in the background in preparation of our trial.

Offer your position (another offer within the offer) should your offer to settle not be accepted. Something like: ...in the event that this offer is not accepted I am willing to pay XX in child support, etc.

Don't just waive certain costs in your offer, seek to "waive and release". Apparently waiving means putting them aside in legal terms but it does not release you from those costs.

Make your offers only acceptable in whole and not in part. That way they can't pick and choose what they want as most offers tend to be wholesome in their approach (you would be willing to waive arrears if they absorbed something else kind of thing).

Spell out why you are offering what you are. For instance, we spelled out that we were offering XX amount of dollars more than we were obligated to for extra curricular and said why we were doing this and the benefits to the other party. This served multiple purposes. 1. It told the other party the benefits that she could discuss with her lawyer and 2. It also would tell a judge a story when and if the judge came to read the offers if and when dealing with costs for trial.

If I think of more things I will post here.
Thanks. Your insight will be most useful to me at my next stage. I appreciate the info.
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Old 01-23-2014, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Serene View Post
Make your offers only acceptable in whole and not in part. That way they can't pick and choose what they want as most offers tend to be wholesome in their approach.
Wondering why severable offers is a bad idea. If the parties can agree on at least something, isn't it better than nothing? It would allow to narrow down the list of items that need to be discussed and accepted by both parties.

Yes, no, may be?
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Old 01-23-2014, 09:26 AM
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Quote:
Thanks. Your insight will be most useful to me at my next stage. I appreciate the info.
That insight is indeed valuable...Thanks Serene!

A reminder that...it takes two to make a thing go right

Like Ellen, this is what I busted a move to this morning when I was leaving for work

Last edited by FWB; 01-23-2014 at 09:29 AM.
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  #8  
Old 01-23-2014, 10:39 AM
Serene Serene is offline
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Wondering why severable offers is a bad idea. If the parties can agree on at least something, isn't it better than nothing? It would allow to narrow down the list of items that need to be discussed and accepted by both parties.
It is a personal choice but typically offers are made where parts hinge on other parts. For instance, if you say you will pay all dental bills and the other parent all para medical bills and these are two separate clauses, then the other parent could just pick that you will pay dental bills and then you'd have to go to court to argue about the paramedical bills.

So if you don't want them to pick buffet style then make it as a whole and not in part.

An alternative could be that you make several offers within one offer. For instance offer schedule A, B and C for access or whatever and provide a statement that only one can be chosen from the list. This is a little more dangerous if your wording is not correct. So it might be better to send several offers on the same day with different approaches to the issues at hand and all of them only can be accepted in whole and not in part.
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Old 01-23-2014, 04:27 PM
MS Mom MS Mom is offline
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I think if you're dealing with someone who loves the fight, a severable or offer in "parts" can just potentially fuel the conflict.

It's a whole new set of questions then. For instance:

"If you can afford all the S7 expenses in Section A of this offer, why can you not afford all the S7 expenses in Section B of this offer?" That was my lesson learned on the severable offer.

Just another opening for another round of debate. Senseless debate. But, I'm not dealing with sense here.
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  #10  
Old 01-31-2014, 12:39 AM
AnarX AnarX is offline
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Default How do you write an official offer?

How do you write an offer? What is the format?
Any sample templates?

I was thinking of writing it in the format of a Separation Agreement that is fair, defensible and in my favor. Handing it over and saying: "This SA represents my offer."
Would that make sense?

Last edited by AnarX; 01-31-2014 at 12:42 AM.
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