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What can I do? Child Support and Access

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  • What can I do? Child Support and Access

    A year ago I went to court and my ex gave up all custody in order to pay $1000 less in back pay. Now my ex has told me that they want 50/50 access (not custody). My son is going to school in a different city which means if my ex got 50/50 then there is no guarantee that during my sons stay with my ex that he will get to school. He will also have a completely messed up sleep schedule due to him waking up and going to bed at earlier hours with my ex to make up the travel time.

    With child support my ex voluntarily left the military. It’s been 9 months and my ex still hasn’t found a job or even looked for one. My ex stated he wasn’t going to bother because his pension and money from VA covers him for two years. He is now looking to lower child support because his 2019 tax return showed a lower income due to his release however I know he got about $80k from the military and is getting monthly payments from VA. I told him I would look to raise section 7 as right now he is only paying a flat $250 a month where due to income he should be paying 57% which is well over $250. My ex has said through text messages that he wants to lower child support so he can afford a mortgage.

    Right now I can’t afford a lawyer because this would be the third time we have went through the court process and the last two times it cost me $25k total because my ex would drag it out constantly and bombard my lawyer with emails. We went through mediation the other two times, cost me a fortune, then when it came time to draft up the new order my ex decided he didn’t agree with what was decided in mediation and we had to through the case conference anyways.

    My ex’s lawyer has basically told me this file is not a priority of hers. She told me to talk directly with my ex because she has other pressing files to deal with. She keeps pushing mediation on me and after I told her my reasoning behind not wanting to pay for mediation. His lawyer sent me a letter back in February basically demanding a response in two weeks. I had responded with answers to her questions as well as valid concerns of mine including major health and safety issues and I didn’t hear back from her for two months which was her letting me know of other issues from my ex and nothing about my emails. The lawyer isn’t reading any of the emails I have been sending as she keeps sending me emails asking for information I have already sent.

    Can someone please tell me what my options are?

    I know there is case law that says child support should be based on current income. Can I file a financial disclosure to basically get him to pay CS based on the $80k pension payout and money from VA?

    How can I look to increase section 7 expenses?

    Is there anything I can do to stop the 50/50 access battle before it starts?

  • #2
    Ya, learn the serenity prayer. And distinguish between him bluffing and an actual action you need to respond to. Also, he has a lawyer so stop communicating with him and communicate only with his lawyer, it will dial down the drama from him. If she asks for info you have provided, tell her it was supplied on DATE.

    Him getting 50/50 of a school-aged child from another city is a non-starter, especially since he agreed to sole custody in consent. I assume that since becoming unemployed he has not asked for extra time with the child? He is only interested in extra time if he also gets to pay off-set child support.

    Is the support with FRO and laid out as a specific monthly amount? He can’t just change the amount because he wants to, it has to be changed in court. The $80,000 may not be counted as his income that year if he also received his normal income, so don’t count on CS going UP, but it should remain the same. How he pays for it is his problem.

    Sec 7 address by sending an email to his lawyer with receipts and asking for payment and an increase in the monthly amount. It is probably not worth going to Court over unless it is a huge amount. But if he files a motion you can file a counter motion for the sec 7.

    He sounds like he lost his leverage in giving up custody and now is scrambling to find some way to make you lower child support. Be strong for your kid.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by tilt View Post
      Ya, learn the serenity prayer. And distinguish between him bluffing and an actual action you need to respond to. Also, he has a lawyer so stop communicating with him and communicate only with his lawyer, it will dial down the drama from him. If she asks for info you have provided, tell her it was supplied on DATE.

      Him getting 50/50 of a school-aged child from another city is a non-starter, especially since he agreed to sole custody in consent. I assume that since becoming unemployed he has not asked for extra time with the child? He is only interested in extra time if he also gets to pay off-set child support.

      Is the support with FRO and laid out as a specific monthly amount? He can’t just change the amount because he wants to, it has to be changed in court. The $80,000 may not be counted as his income that year if he also received his normal income, so don’t count on CS going UP, but it should remain the same. How he pays for it is his problem.

      Sec 7 address by sending an email to his lawyer with receipts and asking for payment and an increase in the monthly amount. It is probably not worth going to Court over unless it is a huge amount. But if he files a motion you can file a counter motion for the sec 7.

      He sounds like he lost his leverage in giving up custody and now is scrambling to find some way to make you lower child support. Be strong for your kid.

      He has been asking for extra time but it’s weird. I told his lawyer if he wanted extra time that he needed to ask and is lawyer replied with something along the lines of my ex doesn’t know my schedule so I should be the one offering extra time. It also became quite evident that my ex has been looking for extra time to possibly show that he’s been having our son for 50% of the time.

      The support isn’t through FRO. It was at one point but there was so much hassle from them to a point where I wouldn’t be receiving money for weeks and/or it would be the wrong amount so we stopped using it.

      With his lawyer, she is the one that told me to communicate with my ex and not her because it’s not being productive. Since February I have sent 15 emails with documents, receipts and concerns I’d like brought up to prevent court. She has responded twice both asking for documentation I’ve already provided in previous emails.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by DantebeaR View Post
        A year ago I went to court and my ex gave up all custody in order to pay $1000 less in back pay. Now my ex has told me that they want 50/50 access (not custody). My son is going to school in a different city which means if my ex got 50/50 then there is no guarantee that during my sons stay with my ex that he will get to school. He will also have a completely messed up sleep schedule due to him waking up and going to bed at earlier hours with my ex to make up the travel time.
        What was the access schedule a year ago? What has changed for them to ask 50/50 now? How many kms apart?

        With child support my ex voluntarily left the military. It’s been 9 months and my ex still hasn’t found a job or even looked for one. My ex stated he wasn’t going to bother because his pension and money from VA covers him for two years. He is now looking to lower child support because his 2019 tax return showed a lower income due to his release however I know he got about $80k from the military and is getting monthly payments from VA.
        Do you have full financial disclosure, because if their income is less-support would be less as well. How much has it reduced? You may have a good case to impute income.

        I told him I would look to raise section 7 as right now he is only paying a flat $250 a month where due to income he should be paying 57% which is well over $250. My ex has said through text messages that he wants to lower child support so he can afford a mortgage.
        It sounds like he's paying back support(with $1000 discount), regular support (although looking to reduce due to income reduction), and $250 for s7. Not sure what has changed in the last year that would allow him 50/50 and you more than $250.

        Can someone please tell me what my options are?

        I know there is case law that says child support should be based on current income. Can I file a financial disclosure to basically get him to pay CS based on the $80k pension payout and money from VA?
        Speak to a lawyer and see if you can impute an income. Otherwise income and support are pretty standard and may actually get reduced.

        How can I look to increase section 7 expenses?

        Is there anything I can do to stop the 50/50 access battle before it starts?
        Analyze for material changes; also depends on the difference between current schedule and 50/50.

        Comment


        • #5
          1. If you have an agreement for full custody and it has been in place for a year then your ex will need to demonstrate a material change requiring a change in custody. They can’t simply wake up on day and change their mind.

          2. Who moved? If he moved then you need to advise you will not consider discussing a change in custody until he lives near the childs school. If you moved then yes cs can be lowered to accommodate his travel expenses.

          3. Unless his payout was listed as income it has no bearing on support.

          4. He should be paying full table support based on actual income with proof unless there is an agreement for less cs due to travel costs.

          5. Technically he needs to pay for day care and medical expenses unless he agreed in writing for more.

          Ignore his lawyer then. Tell your ex you have an agreement for full custody which was based on his wishes and there has been no material change in circumstances warranting a change. Child support is full table based on x amount provided by him. His share of daycare and medical expenses is y amount and you expect it to be paid in full. You will not entertain any further discussion on this matter until he demonstrates a material change. Then you put him and his lawyer on ignore.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
            What was the access schedule a year ago? What has changed for them to ask 50/50 now? How many kms apart?



            Do you have full financial disclosure, because if their income is less-support would be less as well. How much has it reduced? You may have a good case to impute income.



            It sounds like he's paying back support(with $1000 discount), regular support (although looking to reduce due to income reduction), and $250 for s7. Not sure what has changed in the last year that would allow him 50/50 and you more than $250.



            Speak to a lawyer and see if you can impute an income. Otherwise income and support are pretty standard and may actually get reduced.



            Analyze for material changes; also depends on the difference between current schedule and 50/50.

            Access before was 60/40 and changed to 70/30 both in my favour and my ex gave me sole custody.

            The drive door to door driving the speed limit with no traffic is 19 minutes.

            I do not have a full financial disclosure.

            His payments will lower $1200 a year which is only $100 a month but the issue is him not paying remotely close to enough for sec 7. That’s why I want to raise sec 7 if he’s fighting to lower support by $100

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by DantebeaR View Post
              Access before was 60/40 and changed to 70/30 both in my favour and my ex gave me sole custody.
              Custody is irrelevant, it's an access/support issue, but he'll have to show a material change or duress ($1k discount?), as of 1 year ago.

              The drive door to door driving the speed limit with no traffic is 19 minutes.
              This is no issue for 50/50.

              I do not have a full financial disclosure.
              Ask for it; what are you missing. If he's claiming lower income, he should be more than willing to share the proof.

              His payments will lower $1200 a year which is only $100 a month but the issue is him not paying remotely close to enough for sec 7. That’s why I want to raise sec 7 if he’s fighting to lower support by $100
              Is this based on his lower income? Or lower income plus a change to offset support?

              A lawyer would know if income should be imputted or if it may be better to accept the lower income until his income goes up. Would agreeing to this keep access the same or would he still want 50/50?

              S7 you agreed to last year. What expenses do you have now that you didn't anticipate when you agreed to a fixed $250/month?

              With all that, you both want change. Coming to a new agreement now would be a lot easier than court, but if they're not willing to negotiate then court is the only option.

              Comment


              • #8
                So the issue here is this;

                A year ago I agreed on a flat rate of $250 per mont for s7. This was due to my ex refusing to cover the percentage rates. The $250 was set because my ex stated he couldn’t afford to go any higher because he needed to travel from petawawa to spend time with our son. He has moved in with his mom in the same town however I am now moving as I am legally allowed to as our order says I can move within 100km. I am moving 19 mins away.

                That $250 per month ($3000 per year) literally covers my sons hockey season and travel. I have to pay for summer camp, hockey equipment, school supplies, dentist appointments etc etc etc. This is all coming out of my wallet. He’s my son and I don’t care but when my ex is now trying to lower support by $1200 a year and keep s7 the same then there is a problem when he just received $80k+ and is getting salary from VA. I am just clearing $25k a year.

                As there is case law supporting that CS should be based on current income and not that of past years could I not file a financial disclosure and base CS on that. Or would that more fall on grounds to impute his income?

                With the 50/50 access is the fact that my ex refuses to find work a factor? Or that it will prevent our son from having a routine? Or that he cannot guarantee he will be able to transport my son to school and pick him up?

                Comment


                • #9
                  If ex lived far away, enough to reduce s7 for travel, but now lives close then that could be a good reason to reconsider access and s7.

                  It seems like 50/50 is possible now and you're looking for any excuse against it. Nothing mentioned here would make 50/50 against the child's best interests.

                  Your ex's income should be imputed to a grossed up amount of what he receives, which may include a small portion of the 80k if intended for income. Also, if he can/should be making more then additional income could be imputed. That could go for you as well.

                  Would you be ok with 50/50, offset support, and s7 in proportion to income? Seems like a probable court outcome.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
                    If ex lived far away, enough to reduce s7 for travel, but now lives close then that could be a good reason to reconsider access and s7.

                    It seems like 50/50 is possible now and you're looking for any excuse against it. Nothing mentioned here would make 50/50 against the child's best interests.

                    Your ex's income should be imputed to a grossed up amount of what he receives, which may include a small portion of the 80k if intended for income. Also, if he can/should be making more then additional income could be imputed. That could go for you as well.

                    Would you be ok with 50/50, offset support, and s7 in proportion to income? Seems like a probable court outcome.

                    I wouldn’t be okay with 50/50 at all. Come school time my son would have to wake up at 5am and go to bed at around 5-6pm when with the ex. With me he would wake up and go to bed an hour later for both. That will mess up my sons sleep schedule. My ex feeds my son nothing but fast food. To a point where during his two week vacation my son gained 16lbs. My son is now in the 98th percentile of obese and my ex just says, he’s big boned. My ex has stated he doesn’t like doing homework and won’t do it on his time, my son gets injured all the time and my ex’s excuse is “he’s a kid and kids get hurt”. My son came home with a sunburn that turned into major blisters and my ex said “sorry I forgot to put on sunscreen” and that was it. My ex made a huge deal about having to travel to pick up my son during his visitation. That 19 minute drive was an issue for him but he’d be okay with doing that drive every day mon-fri even earlier for school? He had access a year ago and gave it up and said he would give me sole custody if I took $1000 off of his arrears. That was for an extra $83 per month. That’s what custody cost apparently.

                    Since November 2019, I have lived 5km from my ex. He didn’t ask for more time, less money or anything. The second I told him I was moving 19 minutes away (April 2020) I get threatened with legal action to lower child support and to get 50/50 access.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Are you moving for work or because of expenses? While you are “allowed” to move, it seems it is causing a number of problems to pop up. I also don’t understand why kid has to get up so early for school with dad if he lives 19 minutes away.

                      All of this is irrelevant though. If he is purposely unemployed or underemployed then your argument is to have an income imputed.

                      He is obligated to pay based on his income and you do have an argument for imputed income. That’s where you need to focus your energy. As for s7, summer camp for daycare is legit, dental and daycare as well. Hockey is not s7 especially if neither of you can afford it. You may want to look into the jumpstart program or other subsidies.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        My family and I moved because we were in a 2 bedroom house with two adults, two kids and a dog. My family can not afford to live in the same town so we moved to the next one over.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by DantebeaR View Post
                          The drive door to door driving the speed limit with no traffic is 19 minutes.
                          Come school time my son would have to wake up at 5am and go to bed at around 5-6pm when with the ex.
                          What time does school start?

                          How many hours of sleep does your child require?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            how old is the child?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              19 minutes is nowhere close to justifying no 50/50. Why the child must go to bed so early and wake up so early because of a 19 minute drive doesn't make sense.

                              Comment

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