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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 07-22-2018, 01:41 PM
triplejjulius triplejjulius is offline
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Default Child Counselling

My Ex and I are preparing to begin counseling for our 9 year old daughter-in the fall. Daughter does not show abnormal behavioral patterns in my opinion. But counseling was recommended as part of the final OCL report in the fall of 2016 due to conflict during separation of over 3 years ago. I know EX is pushing for this to see if she can change custody /access arrangement.

Counseling was ordered via court order after minutes of settlement was reached on all issues at 2nd settlement conference and then turned into a court order . For that I thank this Forum for providing me with valuable information which allowed me to take this on as a self rep who faced off with an experienced lawyer in court.

We went through I case conference, 2 motions and then 2 settlement conferences . Over the course of 3 years, the OCL, CAS and the Police have been involved because my ex-keeps calling the CAS and they have never found any wrong doing by myself.

Currently Ex and I have a 50-50 access and custody. Ex is not happy with custody and access arrangement and I suspect mainly for financial reasons as I only pay offset child support (that was ordered in May) and she likes being the gatekeeper and wants to make all decisions regarding our daughter with no input from myself.

Because some serious false allegations have been made against me over a 3 year period- I only consented to CLOSED counseling for our daughter which has to be done with a mutually agreeable counselor. But in the end it was included on the order that notes/reports could be released only from both parties written consent or via a court order.


My question: How are child counseling reports and notes treated by the courts? Are they given the same weight like child custody and access assessors reports? I only want to prepared. One never know how biased a counselor could be either way.


We have not chosen counselor yet, but my ex is someone who just cannot stop making false allegations and I am sure she will try and use this opportunity to see if she can get into counselor head and make further allegations to see if they can be included in a future report/notes by the counselor.


Because of this I requested that the sessions be between our daughter and counselor only. Judge said I was reasonable but that we should let counselor decide who can attend. Will I be unreasonable to insist that counselor and daughter only should be at the sessions?


Any inputs will be greatly appreciated.
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  #2  
Old 07-22-2018, 01:52 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by triplejjulius View Post
My Ex and I are preparing to begin counseling for our 9 year old daughter-in the fall. Daughter does not show abnormal behavioral patterns in my opinion. But counseling was recommended as part of the final OCL report in the fall of 2016 due to conflict during separation of over 3 years ago. I know EX is pushing for this to see if she can change custody /access arrangement.

Counseling was ordered via court order after minutes of settlement was reached on all issues at 2nd settlement conference and then turned into a court order . For that I thank this Forum for providing me with valuable information which allowed me to take this on as a self rep who faced off with an experienced lawyer in court.

We went through I case conference, 2 motions and then 2 settlement conferences . Over the course of 3 years, the OCL, CAS and the Police have been involved because my ex-keeps calling the CAS and they have never found any wrong doing by myself.

Currently Ex and I have a 50-50 access and custody. Ex is not happy with custody and access arrangement and I suspect mainly for financial reasons as I only pay offset child support (that was ordered in May) and she likes being the gatekeeper and wants to make all decisions regarding our daughter with no input from myself.

Because some serious false allegations have been made against me over a 3 year period- I only consented to CLOSED counseling for our daughter which has to be done with a mutually agreeable counselor. But in the end it was included on the order that notes/reports could be released only from both parties written consent or via a court order.


My question: How are child counseling reports and notes treated by the courts? Are they given the same weight like child custody and access assessors reports? I only want to prepared. One never know how biased a counselor could be either way.


We have not chosen counselor yet, but my ex is someone who just cannot stop making false allegations and I am sure she will try and use this opportunity to see if she can get into counselor head and make further allegations to see if they can be included in a future report/notes by the counselor.


Because of this I requested that the sessions be between our daughter and counselor only. Judge said I was reasonable but that we should let counselor decide who can attend. Will I be unreasonable to insist that counselor and daughter only should be at the sessions?


Any inputs will be greatly appreciated.


I have to say if you chose a good child therapist. They will remain impartial. Even if Mom goes in and tries to say things. They will only go based off of what your child says.

My 6 yro sees a therapist. And if anything she tries to help my little guy see that dad is a good guy and encourages him to talk to or about dad. And that it’s ok that there are two different ways of doing things. my ex I’m sure thinks I am suggesting things to make the therapist bias. Even though my only intention is to repair child and dads relationship. The therapist is only concerned with what my child reports. Just my opinion.


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  #3  
Old 10-16-2018, 10:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by triplejjulius View Post
My Ex and I are preparing to begin counseling for our 9 year old daughter-in the fall. Daughter does not show abnormal behavioral patterns in my opinion. But counseling was recommended as part of the final OCL report in the fall of 2016 due to conflict during separation of over 3 years ago. I know EX is pushing for this to see if she can change custody /access arrangement.

Counseling was ordered via court order after minutes of settlement was reached on all issues at 2nd settlement conference and then turned into a court order . For that I thank this Forum for providing me with valuable information which allowed me to take this on as a self rep who faced off with an experienced lawyer in court.

We went through I case conference, 2 motions and then 2 settlement conferences . Over the course of 3 years, the OCL, CAS and the Police have been involved because my ex-keeps calling the CAS and they have never found any wrong doing by myself.

Currently Ex and I have a 50-50 access and custody. Ex is not happy with custody and access arrangement and I suspect mainly for financial reasons as I only pay offset child support (that was ordered in May) and she likes being the gatekeeper and wants to make all decisions regarding our daughter with no input from myself.

Because some serious false allegations have been made against me over a 3 year period- I only consented to CLOSED counseling for our daughter which has to be done with a mutually agreeable counselor. But in the end it was included on the order that notes/reports could be released only from both parties written consent or via a court order.


My question: How are child counseling reports and notes treated by the courts? Are they given the same weight like child custody and access assessors reports? I only want to prepared. One never know how biased a counselor could be either way.


We have not chosen counselor yet, but my ex is someone who just cannot stop making false allegations and I am sure she will try and use this opportunity to see if she can get into counselor head and make further allegations to see if they can be included in a future report/notes by the counselor.


Because of this I requested that the sessions be between our daughter and counselor only. Judge said I was reasonable but that we should let counselor decide who can attend. Will I be unreasonable to insist that counselor and daughter only should be at the sessions?


Any inputs will be greatly appreciated.
Read this case law and I'm pretty sure it will answer your questions:

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...&resultIndex=8

I suggest that only your daughter and counsellor should attend the session.
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  #4  
Old 11-01-2018, 09:20 PM
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The-Iceberg The-Iceberg is offline
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Can a parent who has shared custody get child counselling because mama is using her influence to fear the child and reading from some holy books how moms are superior and what not? I need a counselor for my kid.
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  #5  
Old 11-02-2018, 08:14 AM
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reading from some holy books how moms are superior

Wait, there's a religion out there that actually respects women?
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Old 11-02-2018, 02:58 PM
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Wait, there's a religion out there that actually respects women?
Looks like you have hatred towards a certain religion and even though I said the book I s on mama's side in this matter you repeat the same old about a "certain" religion.
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Old 11-02-2018, 03:53 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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What do you mean by fear the child? the mother is fearful of the child? or the mother is making the child fearful of her?
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Old 11-03-2018, 09:50 AM
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Can a parent who has shared custody get child counselling because mama is using her influence to fear the child and reading from some holy books how moms are superior and what not? I need a counselor for my kid.
My friend, your ex is getting into nasty alienation practices with your child, you need to play cool and try to get her consent for counseling, but not any counseling, the counselor should be expérienced in parental alienation and if he/she is expérienced with courts it's even better.
You need to document everything your child tells you regarding this stuff.

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Old 11-03-2018, 12:32 PM
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Thank you. Yes it is parental alienation. Our child wanted a kitten so long and after I got one he is avoiding it. Said: My mom gave me birth so why would a cat be important. I am pretty hopeless
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Old 11-03-2018, 01:17 PM
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What do you mean by fear the child? the mother is fearful of the child? or the mother is making the child fearful of her?
I'm pretty sure he was meant to say that the mother is making the child fearful of her, in other words: parental alienation=a child is forced to choose a parent over the other.

The alienating parent uses verbal and non-verbal communications that convey to the child that the targeted parent is unloving, unsafe and unavailable, or the 3 "famous" Us. Existing flaws are exaggerated and non-existent flaws are manufactured. Statements are made frequently, intensely, with great sincerity, and unbalanced by anything positive.

Make no mistake, the alienating parent violates parenting plan and/or takes advantage of ambiguities in the plan to maximize time with the child. The targeted parent has fewer opportunities to counter the badmouthing message, leading to the attenuation of the parent-child attachment relationship. The child acclimates to spending less and less time with the targeted parent and unfortunately the court might even reward the alienating parent by instituting the new "status quo" as the permanent schedule.
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