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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 06-21-2019, 11:26 PM
klekota klekota is offline
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Default Motion to Change Temporary Order

I am in the beginning stages of the divorce process. We have been seperated for 3 months, and I have temporary custody on consent of our young child due to CAS getting involved (ex used drugsand was violent). Ex has supervised visitation with overnights every other weekend, and once a week for a few hours. Now that case conference is done, my ex's lawyer sent me a letter stating they want to increase access to supervised visits 4 days a week plus the weekends. I am going to tell them no, as 12 weeks ago they were using drugs and I don't believe they stopped (using now for 2 years). I know they are going to file for a motion to expand access once i deny. What do I do to prepare for the motion? Anyone have any idea how to have them hold off on expanding access right now?
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Old 06-22-2019, 08:50 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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What sort of evidence do you have of this drug use and violent behaviour? Ideally you have a police report(s) from when you’ve had to call 911 for the abuse, and your ex has a criminal record of drug possession? What sort of involvement did CAS have? What does their file say on the matter?
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Old 06-22-2019, 09:56 AM
klekota klekota is offline
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I have police reports, (three) I also had a stay away order on them last year because they assaulted me and I had bruises on me from the assault.

They had been in rehab last year (4th time)to and are currently in a methadone program. I have photos of the drugs in the house and videos of them high on drugs. They produced clean urine screens however and are claiming they are not using drugs

Facs came involved and the report says they have concerns about their ability to parent and the drug use. They also got mad at our child last year hit them and left bruises on them. I have photos of that but no report
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Old 06-23-2019, 09:08 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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So current schedule is EOW and 1 weeknight, all supervised? Who does the supervising/are you comfortable with that person?

And now they are asking for three additional visits a week, all supervised?

If you are comfortable with the current supervision arrangement perhaps counter back with one additional visit for now? Or more if it’s reasonable. If they are still supervised then it is still safe for your child I would imagine? It sounds like their lawyer is trying to avoid an unfavorable status quo by working your ex up to 50/50 very aggressively and quickly. Unfortunately for your ex, with all the documentation you have, that will likely never happen.

If they do take this to a motion and ask for 4 nights a week plus eow, they will likely loose. Most non custodial parents WITHOUT a drug/abuse record only have EOW + 1 night. Just make sure you make numerous written offers to settle.
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Old 06-24-2019, 02:25 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klekota View Post
I have police reports, (three) I also had a stay away order on them last year because they assaulted me and I had bruises on me from the assault.

They had been in rehab last year (4th time)to and are currently in a methadone program. I have photos of the drugs in the house and videos of them high on drugs. They produced clean urine screens however and are claiming they are not using drugs

Facs came involved and the report says they have concerns about their ability to parent and the drug use. They also got mad at our child last year hit them and left bruises on them. I have photos of that but no report
With that? I'd promptly tell him and his lawyer to go kick rocks.

They're trying to scare you with the threat of a motion. My ex's lawyer did the exact same thing a year ago....he's still supervised. So yeah- dont be scared about the threat of a motion.

Focus on keeping your kid safe- and a plan to reintegrate you ex back into their life in a safe and measured manner.
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Old 06-24-2019, 02:31 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klekota View Post
They produced clean urine screens however and are claiming they are not using drugs
You can ask for, and the courts will likely order a hair fosile drug test- it will show 6 months history. If it comes back clean you're pooch.

It's not clear from your posts if all access is supervised. If it is and they're seeking expanded supervised access then is there concern that the person supervising will allow the parent to see the child while on drugs ?

Last edited by tunnelight; 06-24-2019 at 02:36 PM.
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Old 06-24-2019, 11:07 PM
klekota klekota is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tunnelight View Post
You can ask for, and the courts will likely order a hair fosile drug test- it will show 6 months history. If it comes back clean you're pooch.

It's not clear from your posts if all access is supervised. If it is and they're seeking expanded supervised access then is there concern that the person supervising will allow the parent to see the child while on drugs ?



All access is supervised. The grandparent supervises. They have allowed them to have access while under the influence in the past. I am not comfortable with this at all. They have been violent in front of the grandparents, and the grandparents pretend like everything is ok.


I thought a hair follicle test is not admissible in ontario?
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Old 06-25-2019, 09:34 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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^ the hair folicle test is for the benefit of your ex. Let him and his counsel do that work. You have police reports- and a CAS report(?)- rely on those. If your ex chose to use violence- let him fight the uphill battle- don't do it for him. Focus on you- and your child.

If you were in an abusive relationship. Get help now- get counselling. Try to find an organization that will help you through the process.

If you're in the east end of the GTA- there's Luke's Place in Oshawa. They are amazing.

If you're not- call Luke's Place anyways- they will help you find a local service.

https://lukesplace.ca/

Call us today: 905.728.0978
1.866.516.3116

feel free to PM me if you have any questions about resources for partners leaving abusive/domestic violence situations.



Quote:
Originally Posted by klekota View Post
All access is supervised. The grandparent supervises. They have allowed them to have access while under the influence in the past. I am not comfortable with this at all. They have been violent in front of the grandparents, and the grandparents pretend like everything is ok.


I thought a hair follicle test is not admissible in ontario?
Grandparents aren't appropriate if the person has been violent. My ex asked for his 80 year old mother to be the supervisor for his visits. I said no.

While not an addict- my ex has anger issues- and also had police reports and criminal charges. He used a private supervision company for three months- then asked that his sister be the supervisor. I know she can control his anger- so I agreed.

How old is your child? are they verbal?

What is your ex doing to address his issues?

Do you have legal counsel? Do you qualify for legal aid (if it even exists anymore.)....?

Again- your ex- and his lawyer- are using a pressure tactic to get you to move up access and establish a shared parenting arrangement. If he is hitting you hard enough to leave bruises- then do not agree.

Let them bring a motion- a judge will order OCL before they agree to give a still recovering addict as much parenting time as your ex is looking for.

Last edited by iona6656; 06-25-2019 at 09:42 AM.
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