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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-26-2011, 04:04 PM
jadedev2009 jadedev2009 is offline
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Question Custody visitations and new Job

The Facts: (i have to give the facts so you know first)
My boyfriend has finally found a decent job (after months of searching) the pay is well and good and in that result he has been almost able to keep up with child support payments to his ex for his son. I say almost because two weeks ago due to a glitch in the computer software for work his pay was screwed up. Instead of a 1300.00 pay check he only got 200 deposited at which point one of his bills took their payment so the 100 he was to give his ex was not there. And also with this new job he is away from home alot (he has been home a total of 13 hours in the last 2 months) he has told his ex several times that this job will take him away from home alot. And he always calls 24 to 48 before (if possible) to tell her if he is going to be able to make it or not (as per the agreement she supposetly signed but has never given a copy back to him) he will be unable to see his son due to being called out to work. She said that was fine (for visitations) just as long as the payments were on time.

Well finally his pay is getting straighten out and he is receiving about 2400 this coming week (in 5 days). At which point he will pay his ex the one payment he missed plus the next one due. But his ex has now threaten him to take him to court. This girl has chosen to work and claim from Ontario works (not legal) she was to tell them she has a job and they would stop the assistant money but she hasnt. So everytime she runs short on money she threatens her ex, this in turn stresses him and i'm afraid its going to affect his work. He has told his boss several times that he needs atleast every other weekend off to be with his son but because work calls him out within hours of notice he can't control when he will be home. They are working on hiring new ppl so that this can be worked out but it will be several months.

An separation agreement (17 pages) was drawn up by a friend who is a paralegal in a law firm that does family law. She has done many agreements and this one was not special in any way just plain and simple laid out custody/access/visitation and child support issues. Which was totally equal to both parties. But when he gave her the 4 copies to sign with or without a lawyer she said she would get it back to him within the required 30 days. it has now been over a year and she has conviently misplaced them (has moved 3 times) now her arguement is she doesn't want just any law clerk (me) or paralegal doing this up and doesn't trust it and she will have her lawyer friend look at it but again that was many months ago. But yet she doesn't have the money to pay for a lawyer or has attempted to get legal help. Instead she forces him to sign her own hand written one page agreements by say she will take him to court or won't let him see his son if he doesn't sign it. He tells her this is coercion she says she don't care and to sign. He really wants to see his son so he feels he has no choice (as she has done the witholding before in the past). I have even offered to pay his support payments every now and even offered to pick up his son so that she can have time to herself on those schedule weekends but because i am the other gf and i am a law clerk she doesn't trust me.

Questions:
1. Because i am a law clerk (deal in real estate only), is it a conflict of interest if i help him prepare another agreement (the exact same one we have a copy on file) to give to her? He also wants a divorce and they require that one be filed since a child is involved.
2. Does she have any ability to force him to take time off work to take his child on his scheduled time? He is the head tech and he has a junior tech they are the only ones with in the Toronto to Montreal cooridor that are not unionized to do work and emgerency call out work on a moments notice. (they are getting new techs but hes afraid if he is forced to take time from work he may be fired).
3. How can he get a divorce if she won't sign an agreement or accept the divorce application.

Last edited by jadedev2009; 03-26-2011 at 04:11 PM. Reason: Grammatical corrections
  #2  
Old 03-26-2011, 04:23 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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He can go to the bookstore and buy a do it yourself divorce kit and write his own separation agreement or you could do it for him or a paralegal. It doesn't matter who writes the agreement. Most law firms (I'm sure you know) use pre-written agreements from a template and edit in any specific information needed.

The separation agreement will be roughly the same no matter where it comes from. She will either accept it or reject it. I would suggest that if she wants one done by a divorce lawyer then she should pay for it.

From your description she just wants to delay and not do anything, for whatever reasons. Probably just her personality, or resentment or whatever. You have no control over that, you can't change her or force her to sign anything.

You can sever the divorce from the separation issues and file and have her served. If there are outstanding issues with the child(ren) then she can contest the divorce but why should she bother?

After this amount of time you appear to have a status quo set in for custody, he is presumably paying support agreed upon. Is equalization settled? This comes down to, does she want to fight in court, if so about what? There are no real conflicts from your description, just random obstinacy, so it's hard to tell you what path to take. He can sue her for a divorce and force a settlement in court, at a great cost and a lot of headache.
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Old 03-26-2011, 05:15 PM
jadedev2009 jadedev2009 is offline
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Thanks, he is going to try the agreement once again and give her a month. And after that apply for the divorce. He wants to give her a chance, ...again. The support payments are by the guidelines. She is a little stubborn but i understand her and his side of things. Im just trying to find solutions so both will be happy. Nothing worse than animosty in exs where a child is concerned or involved.
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