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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 06-12-2013, 12:33 PM
rr3id.75 rr3id.75 is offline
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Hi, I'm new here I just posted this link [URL="http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f12/confused-alone-15368/[/URL]
I live in quebec, Gatineau more specifically. I am having a hard time finding a lawyer. They are expensive, I don't have the money that's being quoted to me $500. deposit and 175/hour. I called the legal aid bureau in my municipality and unfortunately I don't qualify as my annual salary is too high and my amount of debt is irrelevant.

I am not happy in my relationship

I just don't have many options unless i can find a lawyer that will let me work out payment options after my divorce or what not, feeling kind of stuck

If my wife hits me again what do i do, do i call the police and risk her telling them i hit her and just let it all get sorted out? DO i wait until she goes to work and then go and get my son and go to a family members? Is that kidnapping?

Any support / advice would be greatly appreciated
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Old 06-12-2013, 12:45 PM
rr3id.75 rr3id.75 is offline
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I'd also like to ask questions about support my wife has a bad drinking problem, and she has severe emotional issues, i feel that the best interest of my son would be to seek sole custody until these issues are resolved
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Old 06-12-2013, 01:37 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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If you are assaulted, you call the police.

For your own protection, I recommend getting a digital voice recorder. This is to be used as a shield should your spouse claim you assaulted them.

Should your spouse get hostile/aggressive, you remove yourself from the area. Go to a separate room and do not engage. If they assault you, call the police and have them charged.

If they threaten you, again, call the police. But do not call the police unless you truly feel threatened. You do not want to be accused of filing false statements.

For your child, you do your best to protect them. Ensure that any disagreements don't take place in front of the child. If the spouses starts something, advise them you'd be willing to discuss it at a future time, but this isn't the time or place as the child is around.

It sucks, but you have protect yourself. No one deserves to be assaulted. Further, what kind of example are you for your kid if you allow them to believe this is how relationships are and that it is ok for a parent to be abused.
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Old 06-12-2013, 01:54 PM
HappyMomma HappyMomma is offline
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Please, please, please take Hammerdad's advice and get a recorder ASAP. You need to protect yourself and your child.

My ex assaulted me in front of our children and the police officer shrugged it off and basically wrote in the report that I was trying to use it against my ex to gain custody of our children. Completely false. You need to make sure you record everything so no one can disagree with what happened.
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Old 06-12-2013, 02:34 PM
rr3id.75 rr3id.75 is offline
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This has never happened in front of our son, i dont know if she does it consciously but it only happens when he is at school or asleep
I will go buy a recorder immediately,
i guess just keep it in my pocket it and start it when she starts arguing?

I have been documenting, over and over the number of beer she drinks everynight, evertime she says she doesn't have the mental capacity to take care of our son etc
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Old 06-12-2013, 03:18 PM
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cashcow4ex cashcow4ex is offline
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Hell I would take it one step further and invest in a small camera that you can wear. This way you have video evidence that your married to CYBIL.

These cameras usually record in decent resolution and can store several hours of footage before having to be deleted.
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Old 06-12-2013, 10:17 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rr3id.75 View Post
I will go buy a recorder immediately,
i guess just keep it in my pocket it and start it when she starts arguing?
You keep it on at all times when you are around her. You never know when an argument might break out, and you don't want her seeing you reach into your pocket. Also, recordings of fights are less useful if you don't know what happened beforehand. She could accuse you of having provoked her and THEN started recording.

Download the recordings regularly to a computer she has no access to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rr3id.75 View Post
I'd also like to ask questions about support my wife has a bad drinking problem, and she has severe emotional issues, i feel that the best interest of my son would be to seek sole custody until these issues are resolved
Sole custody is pretty drastic, and is usually forever. I think what you want is to have most of the access/parenting time to start with. She may recognize that she's not the best parent and agree with you, or (far more likely) she will retaliate at the perception that you want to take away her child and fight back hard.

As for more general advice, start taking steps to protect yourself. Search here for "The List" which is a website full of info for what to do when a separation is pending and one partner is anticipated to be high-conflict. Unfortunately, women have some very dirty tricks in their arsenal, and you will need to protect yourself.

If money is an issue, take steps to curb her spending. Put your own paycheck into an account she can't access, and lower the limits or freeze joint credit cards, etc. At this point it isn't for separation (although it might kick start her) it's just in response to her irresponsibility.
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Old 06-13-2013, 10:51 AM
HappyMomma HappyMomma is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post

As for more general advice, start taking steps to protect yourself. Search here for "The List" which is a website full of info for what to do when a separation is pending and one partner is anticipated to be high-conflict. Unfortunately, women have some very dirty tricks in their arsenal, and you will need to protect yourself.
Ahem. And men.
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