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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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  #11  
Old 11-28-2012, 11:26 AM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Of any poster WO... You have demonstrated incredible change in your position, knowledge, understanding and all round. In such a positive way that it is always a pleasure to read your messages.

If you look at your history of posting from start to finish (which I have done) it is an incredible transformation. In fact, the "wretched" no longer applies in my honest opinion Otis.

Hopefully, the transformation (change) you have undergone through all this has benefited you and most importantly your children.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Thanks.

That's nice to hear.

I was very angry when i first found this site. I really wouldn't want to re-read some of my early posts... LOL.

Life moves on and things settle down, even when you're faced with difficult situations. Probably why I am such an a$$ to some people when they post.
I see myself back then, and don't like it.

Anyways, keep up the good work.
  #12  
Old 11-28-2012, 03:23 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Thanks.

That's nice to hear.

I was very angry when i first found this site. I really wouldn't want to re-read some of my early posts... LOL.

Life moves on and things settle down, even when you're faced with difficult situations. Probably why I am such an a$$ to some people when they post.
I see myself back then, and don't like it.

Anyways, keep up the good work.
The transformation as recorded on this site from wretched to otis is something that I can honestly say demonstrates incredible and true change.

Some times, the people going through situations like divorce need a stern statement to catch their attention. I haven't seen anything from you that I would consider in the area of being an "ass". I see more frank statements driven from experience. Now, the new posters may not see that but, I have read all of your messages end-to-end.

I am sure there are others benefiting from your personal experiences reading your current postings. I have to admit, I have had to double think some of my positions after your responses these days. They are always food for thought.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #13  
Old 11-28-2012, 09:59 PM
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I just hope that out of the 3000 postings:

- That someone reading them thought twice about making an unsubstantiative allegation of intimate partner abuse and/or child abuse

- That someone reading one of them realized that they were going down the wrong path and was able to settle the matter than litigate it

- That someone reading them realized that their "idea" to remove children in contravention of the Criminal Code of Canada (namely section 283.(1)), attempting to have a parent arrested and then filing an "emergency" ex-party motion is not the way to reduce conflict rather, to create it and chose to put their children first rather than their personal "emotions" and "feelings"

- That someone reading them realized that two equally involved and loving parents, no matter what race, gender, sexual orientation or sex and that is what matters most after separation and eventually divorce

If one person, just one, read something I wrote and benefited from it... I would say the 3000 posts were time well invested.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Well done and thank you for your 3000 constructive posts, Tayken. I'm sure there has been the odd person around here paying attention...

Cheers!
  #14  
Old 11-29-2012, 08:10 AM
Nadia Nadia is offline
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I have certainly benefitted from your posts. It is always very helpful to read your logical thinking and reasoned response. I have put your advice (after a few changes to fit our unique situation) into practice, for example recently with the benefit of using Our Wizard and sending out Offers to Settle. Thanks for sticking around and hopefully you will continue to contribute to this forum for some time.

Last edited by Nadia; 11-29-2012 at 08:13 AM.
  #15  
Old 11-29-2012, 09:06 AM
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What are "SBemails?"
3000 postings is a lot!
Don't know whether to congratulate or offer a drink to drown your sorrows!
  #16  
Old 11-29-2012, 09:39 AM
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I have certainly benefitted from your posts. It is always very helpful to read your logical thinking and reasoned response. I have put your advice (after a few changes to fit our unique situation) into practice, for example recently with the benefit of using Our Wizard and sending out Offers to Settle. Thanks for sticking around and hopefully you will continue to contribute to this forum for some time.
Nadia,

Judging from what I read in your threads it appears as though you are dealing with a highly conflicted individual. For whatever reason the issues have evolved in the situation and often, they are temporary, the one thing that I think you have done consistently is sought out better advice than the other party.

Often, people leave it all up to their lawyer to resolve the conflict when in fact, the lawyer is just there to advise on the Rules and Acts. A very good lawyer will have additional training in conflict management and resolution but, often the vast majority of them do not.

Investing the time you have and considering other alternatives to resolving conflict will hopefully pay off. Containing the conflict is an incredibly difficult challenge. Based on what you write on this site, it is clear that you are doing your very best on not creating unnecessary conflict.

Conflict will always be involved in a "family law dispute" as it is the nature of the process. But, how you deal with conflict is often what leads to settlement in a matter. Your position on conflict resolution is quite remarkable and although you may be frustrated at the situation it appears (based on what I read) that you are always looking for alternatives to reduce conflict rather than create it or - add fuel to the fire.

The best defence to conflict is understanding the resolution strategies on how to not escalate a situation. OFW is a great way to contain the conflict at minimum and provides tools to better communicate with the other parent. When communications get outrageous (allegations of parental alienation, stalking, blah blah blah) it is all logged and tracked. Hopefully you never need to use the messages as evidence in defence of being an equal parent but, should you be forced to (by motion / trial) it is there, easily accessible and does tell a better and more coherent story than email and more importantly SMS.

General advice to everyone: Quit it with the SMS. It is crap, instant communications and the expectation from anyone using SMS is an instant response. It is probably the worst communication tool two parents in conflict could be using in my honest opinion.

I think your rationalization of matters Nadia will be something that the children involved in your matter will respect most about you as a parent in the future if they already don't know it.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #17  
Old 11-29-2012, 09:40 AM
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What are "SBemails?"
3000 postings is a lot!
Don't know whether to congratulate or offer a drink to drown your sorrows!
Link is safe and goes to a web-cartoon.

And no... I don't type with boxing gloves on.
  #18  
Old 11-29-2012, 09:48 AM
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Well done and thank you for your 3000 constructive posts, Tayken. I'm sure there has been the odd person around here paying attention...

Cheers!
Baldclub,

I truly hope that your matter settles or a determination comes shortly for the children in your matter. The length this is all taking on your family must be overwhelming at times. With the piles of allegations, challenges and other wrenches consistently being thrown at you it is understandable that at times my advice comes as a laser beam and not always targeted at what you would want to hear.

Unlike many of the posters who come here your argument improves with every challenge brought against it. Often, I find myself having to throw straw man arguments to bring other perspectives to the arguments that you may face in counter to your position.

I truly hope that matters resolve. I am very concerned with how the OCL is presenting their materials only moments before a conference rather than a written report. This disadvantages you as a litigant in being able to prepare a reasonable offer to settle and truly consider everything being told to you.

If you have any issues at the Conference, you should take the position possible that it was delivered too late for a "court room door settlement" and in consideration you are unrepresented and finally that the best interests of children should not be determined in a matter of minutes but, with careful and thoughtful consideration by both parents.

Court room door settlements, which often happen, happen too often and they usually are not very well written. The children deserve more consideration than a 15 minute meeting prior to a Conference, Motion or Trial in my honest opinion.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #19  
Old 11-29-2012, 12:48 PM
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Wasn't there a movie called Mr. 3000? Maybe we should refer to you as Mr.

Actually, in the movie they had recounted and he didn't actually get 3000. I request someone look into this here before it is made official.

Good Luck!
Mr. 3000 (formly known as Tayken)
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