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View Poll Results: Experience with having a stay at home partner
In my marriage, someone stayed at home and in future relationships I would do it again. 1 10.00%
In my marriage, someone stayed at home and in future relationships I wouldn't risk it anymore. 4 40.00%
Both partners worked in my relationship but in the future I would be OK with a stay at home partner. 1 10.00%
Both partners worked in my relationship but in the future I wouldn't have it any other way. 4 40.00%
Voters: 10. You may not vote on this poll

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  #11  
Old 10-02-2012, 10:02 AM
singledad99 singledad99 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FightingForFamily View Post
Personally I feel that if 50% of marriage end in divorce and 75% of divorces are initiated by woman and 90% of support payments flow from Men to Women that having your partner stay at home during the marriage beyond maternity leave is an extremely risky and dangerous choice.

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Well, in my experience most of the divorces are because of "other people". Those other people could be extended family members, people with whom spouses have affairs with, social workers trying to help (mostly women) (I have seen this a lot), friends, and people with whom you compare your spouses with etc. These issues are further intensified due to lack of communication, unrealistic expectations, presumptions and other factors.
  #12  
Old 10-02-2012, 10:58 AM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
I think this poll lacks a lot of options for non-traditional arrangements, ie: the work at home parents.

I also think that opting to have a stranger raise your child rather than a parent to avoid potential financial implications should the marriage not be successfull is incredibly selfish, shortsighted and makes me question why one would have chosen to have children to beging with.
Perhaps the wording is not perfect but I think it is clear this is about not working.

Stay at home meant not working full time - ie career put on hold.

Congratulations if you did it all and stayed home and worked full time - but that is not what the poll is about - it is about deciding for one spouse to put their career on hold during the marriage and the financial risks associated with that when you separate.
  #13  
Old 10-02-2012, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by billm View Post
Perhaps the wording is not perfect but I think it is clear this is about not working.

Stay at home meant not working full time - ie career put on hold.

Congratulations if you did it all and stayed home and worked full time - but that is not what the poll is about - it is about deciding for one spouse to put their career on hold during the marriage and the financial risks associated with that when you separate.
Having been the one who put my career on hold to stay home...I have had my share of difficulties getting back into my industry. I told my ex that having a degree doesn't automatically put you on the top of the list of getting a job. Employers want "recent experience". The decision to stay home was mutual. Pros outweighed the cons at the time. I didn't have a crystal ball that told me we'd be getting divorced. If I knew... I would have decided different. No regrets though.
It's been an uphill battle but I'm almost there.
  #14  
Old 10-02-2012, 12:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by singledad99 View Post
Well, in my experience most of the divorces are because of "other people". Those other people could be extended family members, people with whom spouses have affairs with, social workers trying to help (mostly women) (I have seen this a lot), friends, and people with whom you compare your spouses with etc. These issues are further intensified due to lack of communication, unrealistic expectations, presumptions and other factors.
Add to the list, influence from the media selling false images of what 'marriage' is really about and setting unrealistic and unattainable expectations on a marriage.

There is a known psychological phenomenon in which one couple in a social group get divorced which impacts the relationships of others.

Our society as a whole has lost perspective of what defines marriage and has created a market of expectations that just simply don't exist. People expect marriage to be easy, fun and exciting. What a lot of people in today's modern society can't do is compromise in their relationships.

The inability to compromise and work cooperatively as two people in a family is evident in the divorce statistics and unmarried partners.

Not saying that this is a bad thing but, just an observation of the "institute" of marriage and that it may not be relevant unless both parties to the marriage have some written agreement that defines what "marriage" is to them. (aka a marriage contract)

Society doesn't define what "marriage" or "parenting" is... The two people who entered into the agreement and chosen to have children should have to agree up-front and really consider the implications of what they are agreeing to.
  #15  
Old 10-02-2012, 12:36 PM
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Absolutely!! Avoid joint accounts and/or credit cards if you can! Been there, done that.
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