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What do I do to prepare for a divorce?

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  • What do I do to prepare for a divorce?

    I’m strongly considering divorce. I don’t want a divorce, but I don’t think I can fix this mess anymore. We fight all of the time, and when we aren’t fighting she gives me the silent treatment. I've tried talking to her, but it doesn't do any good. I don't know what to do.

    I feel like my only option is to find a divorce lawyer in Toronto. I'm going to start looking for a 2nd job. I need to make sure I am ok financially. We don't own our house. We are on a month to month basis now. I think I'm going to start looking into places to rent. I'm not sure of the best ways to prepare myself. Any suggestions would be wonderful.
    Last edited by blinkandimgone; 04-05-2016, 09:38 PM. Reason: Removed spam.

  • #2
    This is a good start. Pre-planning, normally women are 10 steps ahead.
    You need to understand child support, spousal support, division of assets etc... and then organize your affairs to minimize the damage. Divorce is win-win for women normally so be careful. Also, unless you want to spend 25k each or more skip the lawyers.

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    • #3
      Great advice above. I definitely agree that you need to educate yourself on the major issued raised by divorce: child/spousal support and the division of marital assets.

      The fact that you don't own your home makes things easier, as it is an asset that often causes a lot of conflict during divorce.

      Lawyers are very expensive, so if you can come to an agreement with your spouse on all the major issues raised by divorce, you can file for an uncontested divorce and avoid those costs and a trial in court. I suggest you read up on uncontested divorce, most people end up negotiating an agreement with their spouse instead of appearing in court. If your spouse disagrees with any of the major issues, you may have to seek assistance through mediation or a lawyer.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by daniel241 View Post
        I’m strongly considering divorce. I don’t want a divorce, but I don’t think I can fix this mess anymore. We fight all of the time, and when we aren’t fighting she gives me the silent treatment. I've tried talking to her, but it doesn't do any good. I don't know what to do.

        .
        How about I tell you what you should not do?

        Don't leave the house, live in the basement or move into a separate room if you must, as once you leave she can claim exclusive possession of the home. You'll thank me later when things get really nasty.

        Seeing as you fight all the time, be very careful, don't get physical, you could end up with a restraining order or worse a criminal record. Stay calm and avoid trouble.

        Don't sign anything until you (at least) have a lawyer look it over.

        Remember that even the nicest, most reasonable people can turn ugly during divorce!

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        • #5
          ^^^^ Just to note: if you rent month to month, possession of the marital home will not be an issue, so moving out might be a good idea.

          Do you have kids?
          Do you own a lot of expensive items (land, antiques, RRSPS, other forms of property)?
          Have you both been fully employed for the duration of the marriage?


          If the answers to the questions above are no, no and yes, you can probably do the divorce on your own, without a lawyer. You can purchase a divorce kit at a stationary store, and there is a lot of advice on the internet about the steps for initiating an uncontested divorce.

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