Fro

[sherif28]

FPI

This forum is not set out to attack or make assumptions about another member. With that said I feel that I need to defend myself.
As a matter of fact my spousal support is only time limited. I was married for 12 years and only asked for support for 1 year until I finished University which in fact I am graduating this week. So you claim I am out for his all his money and both parents are responsible to support there child....well 12 years of marraige and only asking for 1 year of support is not going for "blood" or stripping him of all his money. And the funny thing is I have being supporting my daughter.....he wasnt.....thats why his wages were just garnished and he owes over $10,000 in arrears. So dont claim I sit and do nothing and collect his money when in fact in my case it has been the opposite. Dont give him credit where credit isnt due. I take care of our child full time, go to school full time and work part time. Please dont make accusations about someone you dont know or have no clue about their circumstances of their divorce.

[FPI]

Sherif28, if I offended you I apologize, I didn’t mean to sound like I’m attacking you. This is a prime case of when details are left out. We as human being tends to miss read the whole facts. I did not realize your ex had not paid you any child support, as I mentioned before children should not suffer, as a result of a selfish parent. Children should have all the necessities required to give them a healthy and productive life.
Since I’m going through a very brutal divorce where my ex is trying to suck the blood out of me, it has made me very bitter, a quality I never had before all this happened. Once again I apologize if I offended you.

[sherif28]

FPI

Thanks for that reply.....appreciate that

I too have gone through an awful brutal divorce. I understand completly feeling angry, bitter etc. It is an awful place to sit in ......and I did for some time but then I realized that I am in control of how I react to my ex....I have to make things better for my daughter and for me......and I just let it go. I let go of the anger, the resentment and bitterness. When you let it go.....life is so much better. I know it is hard to let go when we are still involved in our battles and its hard to see that but it is possible.
Keep the faith......remember we cant change our ex's but we can change ourselves.

[Grace]

I tend to leave out details in my posts for fear that my identity may be revealed. As for arrears being collected by the FRO, at least in my case, it is because the ex has refused to take responsibility for financially supporting his children. If he had contributed from the beginning he wouldn't find himself in $$$ arrears. As far as the system goes, if he doesn't believe in it then he should lobby to change the system. For now it is the law and I believe he should be paying child support. So if the FRO wanted to garnish 50% of his wages because he owes so much retro support, quite frankly, I don't have a problem with it. I won't chase him anymore, but if the FRO wants to give it a try, good luck to them. In the meantime, I will continue to do my best to put the food on the table.

[Jenny]

okay the payor is being so hurt by being garnished 50% ? so assuming he is an access parent - he still has half his money to live on - which could possibly be easier to live on as a single person then an unemployed or low income custodial parent with multiple children trying to feed children on 50% of the payor's income and what little they may be earning. Think about that. Also keep in mind that FRO only will garnish up to 50% - The payor could be 100 000 in arrears ( i've seen it) and they will only garnish 50% - The payor has ignored his responsibilities for years and years and benefited while the payee has suffered..... 50% seems VERY reasonable at that point!

[Grace]

Jenny, how true. In my case the ex is behind $75,000 over the last 4 years because he refuses to pay. So for the last four years he has lived the "good life" and used the money to fund his legal fees. Meanwhile I have borrowed money from my family to fund legal fees and supported the kids 100%. In the long run, I have spent more in legal fees "chasing him" then I will ever recover in child support. The courts keep awarding me child support, and court costs, but in reality it's very difficult to actually collect. Enough is enough, and i will bear the costs of raising these children on my own. Like I said if the FRO want to give it a shot, then I'm all for it!!!