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  • #16
    Originally posted by momliz View Post
    My ex breached the court order and abducted him. Because of his age the Police would not get involved. I was denied all access and visitation for 8 months. During that time my ex completely and totally brainwashed my son against myself, siblings, extended family...basically everyone this boy has known and loved his entire life.
    But you wrote this on your very first post on here:
    Fast forward to this July. My younger son decided to move in with his Dad. He didn't tell me where he was going so I called police. They found out he was at his Dad and because he's 14 now if he wants to live there it doesn't matter if I have custody. He's apparantly old enough to do what he wants.

    We are all here to help. But we can't be of help if were are given a skewed set of facts.

    For the childs sake (and yours), I hope that you are both able to somehow able to repair your relationship in the near future. But you tread a very fine line between asking a court to force a child to be somewhere he doesn't want to be (not that he knows what is in his best interests) and causing further alientation.

    I wish you all the best. I cannot imagine the hardship you are experiencing not spending time with your child

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by mom2three View Post
      But you wrote this on your very first post on here:
      Fast forward to this July. My younger son decided to move in with his Dad. He didn't tell me where he was going so I called police. They found out he was at his Dad and because he's 14 now if he wants to live there it doesn't matter if I have custody. He's apparantly old enough to do what he wants.

      We are all here to help. But we can't be of help if were are given a skewed set of facts.

      For the childs sake (and yours), I hope that you are both able to somehow able to repair your relationship in the near future. But you tread a very fine line between asking a court to force a child to be somewhere he doesn't want to be (not that he knows what is in his best interests) and causing further alientation.

      I wish you all the best. I cannot imagine the hardship you are experiencing not spending time with your child
      Yes. I wrote that after his 14th birthday in August. Before I knew what the legal definition of parental abduction was from the Criminal Code of Canada was. Once I became aware what the legal definition of Parental Abduction is I became aware that my son was Abducted.

      I just find it frustrating that a court would allow a child to be emotionally abused in this way. If I can help him I will. I just don't know if I can help him. Perhaps the OCL will be able to help him. I don't know. As you said its a fine line. As I stand anything I do is already being used to further alienate him. If I don't fight for him I don't care and never did and here's proof I gave up so easily. If I do fight for him I'm a troublemaker or whatever.

      Comment


      • #18
        Just a curious question here, is there anyway you can move closer to where your child is. I.E. move to your ex's city.
        I know typically it's the father who is asked to move. But it can be done the other way.
        In my case my ex (the mother) agreed that to maintain the equal shared parenting she would move back to my city, she left to get the support of her family 45 minutes away. I should also add that we both worked in my city.
        But getting back to your case this would help facilitate a much better schedule.
        Where is the child going to school now?

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        • #19
          Originally posted by involveddad75 View Post
          Just a curious question here, is there anyway you can move closer to where your child is. I.E. move to your ex's city.
          I know typically it's the father who is asked to move. But it can be done the other way.
          In my case my ex (the mother) agreed that to maintain the equal shared parenting she would move back to my city, she left to get the support of her family 45 minutes away. I should also add that we both worked in my city.
          But getting back to your case this would help facilitate a much better schedule.
          Where is the child going to school now?
          It would mean both myself and my spouse would be unemployed and we would have to rip two children out of school. We would have no family or friends around.

          The ex lives in a small town with a high unemployment rate. People spend years looking for a job there.

          The ex enrolled DS in high school in the town he lives in.

          Comment


          • #20
            I know it's not ideal, but it is an option, only you and your spouse can make that decision. The fact remains the child is going to school in the other city.
            I would say 30 minute distance would allow you to have a 2-2-3-2-2-3 or 7-7 or 2-5-5-2 schedules.
            You could start looking around in nearby cities and applying to jobs out there. then if either of you are offered a job you can discuss it.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by involveddad75 View Post
              I know it's not ideal, but it is an option, only you and your spouse can make that decision. The fact remains the child is going to school in the other city.
              I would say 30 minute distance would allow you to have a 2-2-3-2-2-3 or 7-7 or 2-5-5-2 schedules.
              You could start looking around in nearby cities and applying to jobs out there. then if either of you are offered a job you can discuss it.
              I don't think I can punish two younger children and turn their entire lives upside down for the sake of their brother. They will only resent him for it and resent us for choosing him over their happiness. These kids have been attending the same school since JK. It's a very unfair sacrificice to ask them to make. Add to that that the only major city in the area is the one I live in. The rest are all small towns and villages. The expense of moving on top of the unemployment situation makes it more impossible. My ex could easily transfer to the city I live in. His company has several offices here. He will never even consider it.

              I guess I have my answer. No judge would even consider a custody arrangement such as this. Thank you for trying to help.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by momliz View Post
                Yes. I wrote that after his 14th birthday in August. Before I knew what the legal definition of parental abduction was from the Criminal Code of Canada was. Once I became aware what the legal definition of Parental Abduction is I became aware that my son was Abducted..
                The son, according to you, left of his own free will. If he was not physically taken by force, then above the age of fourteen he was not abducted.

                Under the age of fourteen, abduction can include coercion, however you do not know this. You may believe this, but you do not know it factually. In any case, he was above the age where that definition would apply.

                If the child was taken to another province or territory, it is more likely to be considered abduction. If the child's whereabouts are not known to you, it would be considered abduction.

                A criminal offense is not held to be fact until a court has found it to be such. If the police and courts are not going to prosecute, then it is not abduction.

                From your words, the child left of his own free will, so it is not shown in any way that "brainwashing" occured. Certainly the child did not leave in the first place because of brainwashing that occured later.

                Of course you are hurt and upset, we all would be. I am sympathetic to your feelings, but you also have to have a clear head and recognize the facts of the matter if you are going to sort through it.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Mess View Post
                  The son, according to you, left of his own free will. If he was not physically taken by force, then above the age of fourteen he was not abducted.

                  Under the age of fourteen, abduction can include coercion, however you do not know this. You may believe this, but you do not know it factually. In any case, he was above the age where that definition would apply.

                  If the child was taken to another province or territory, it is more likely to be considered abduction. If the child's whereabouts are not known to you, it would be considered abduction.


                  A criminal offense is not held to be fact until a court has found it to be such. If the police and courts are not going to prosecute, then it is not abduction.

                  From your words, the child left of his own free will, so it is not shown in any way that "brainwashing" occured. Certainly the child did not leave in the first place because of brainwashing that occured later.

                  Of course you are hurt and upset, we all would be. I am sympathetic to your feelings, but you also have to have a clear head and recognize the facts of the matter if you are going to sort through it.
                  My son was 13 at the time. The fact is it doesn't matter how old the child is. If the Custody order does not specifically say it is Police enforceable they will do nothing.

                  I have no reason to believe the brainwashing only just began in July. I believe is must have started long before that. I was just unaware of it.

                  Comment

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