Hi I'm new and I have no idea what I'm doing. The situation is I left an extremely violent and abusive marriage in the middle of the night one night 12 years ago with three children aged 6, 2 and 3 months old. It was a struggle. The kids and I all ended up sleeping on the floor of a room in my parents apartment for several months while I tried to get on my feet. I have only a grade 12 and had my first child at 19 and hadn't really established a career. I ended up dropping out of community college when sickness from the pregnancy made it difficult to continue. We left in Mar 2000 and finally in Dec 2001 all the court stuff was finished and I told I would receive both child support and spousal support. (I don't know if I'm giving too many details I just think if I fill in the whole story I will get a more correct answer).
Around about that time I started dating again and got pregnant and it wasn't the best timing but the guy was a good guy and he seemed like he really loved me. He moved in and helped me take care of all my kids. He didn't make very much money though and finances were always a struggle. We eventually got married in 2005. Our financial situation stayed pretty much the same as always. In 2006 my oldest was having trouble in school. I was at my wits end. My ex convinced me he could straighten the kid out. I let him go live with his Dad. He lived there a few months and then came back to me. He started getting violent with his little brother so I sent him back to his Dad for a few more months. He came back and it was the same thing. By this time he was in 8th grade. He went back to his Dad for the last month of grade 8 and stayed there for all of High school.
Fast forward to this July. My younger son decided to move in with his Dad. He didn't tell me where he was going so I called police. They found out he was at his Dad and because he's 14 now if he wants to live there it doesn't matter if I have custody. He's apparantly old enough to do what he wants.
Now on Sunday he serves me a motion to change saying he wants full custody of both boys. He wants to stop paying support for all 3 kids and he wants me to pay him pay spousal support retroactive for the last 7 years. His reason for wanting me to repay the spousal support is listed as I remarried and I have been consitently working. I googled it and google is saying getting remarried doesn't automatically mean termination of spousal support. As for working consistently I printed off the last 11 years of tax returns. There are 4 years where I made around $20000, one year 12000 one year 7000 and all the others are under $5000.
First of all I know this is both of our faults because we should have gone to court a long time ago as he has had 3 fiancees during this time and I got remarried. He makes almost double what he did 12 years ago and I am not completely self sufficient but I make more than I did 12 years ago. Plus we have the boys bouncing back and forth. I think all this court stuff is just so overwhelming.
Any ways to make a way too long question shorter do you think they will actually make me pay back 6 years of spousal support? Has it ever happened before? I think my income is low enough to prove a need. And I never got to establish very much of a career because I was raising his kids. They're getting bigger now so it's gotten easier but when they were all babies at once it wasn't easy.
The second part of the question is how far does retroactive usually go? When he served me these papers I realized he makes alot more than I thought and he's been underpaying me all these years. And I will probably have to pay him CS for the years when my oldest lived with him. And now that his income is so much higher he should be paying more for his youngest. And now that the middle child is living with him I should probably be paying him for that child. The oldest is graduated High School now and working full time. He still lives with his Dad but the oldest child earns way more money than I do so I can't imagine I have to pay support for him.
Its such a complicated mess. I'm sorry. I can't sleep at night I`m so stressed out. Can someone ease my mind
Around about that time I started dating again and got pregnant and it wasn't the best timing but the guy was a good guy and he seemed like he really loved me. He moved in and helped me take care of all my kids. He didn't make very much money though and finances were always a struggle. We eventually got married in 2005. Our financial situation stayed pretty much the same as always. In 2006 my oldest was having trouble in school. I was at my wits end. My ex convinced me he could straighten the kid out. I let him go live with his Dad. He lived there a few months and then came back to me. He started getting violent with his little brother so I sent him back to his Dad for a few more months. He came back and it was the same thing. By this time he was in 8th grade. He went back to his Dad for the last month of grade 8 and stayed there for all of High school.
Fast forward to this July. My younger son decided to move in with his Dad. He didn't tell me where he was going so I called police. They found out he was at his Dad and because he's 14 now if he wants to live there it doesn't matter if I have custody. He's apparantly old enough to do what he wants.
Now on Sunday he serves me a motion to change saying he wants full custody of both boys. He wants to stop paying support for all 3 kids and he wants me to pay him pay spousal support retroactive for the last 7 years. His reason for wanting me to repay the spousal support is listed as I remarried and I have been consitently working. I googled it and google is saying getting remarried doesn't automatically mean termination of spousal support. As for working consistently I printed off the last 11 years of tax returns. There are 4 years where I made around $20000, one year 12000 one year 7000 and all the others are under $5000.
First of all I know this is both of our faults because we should have gone to court a long time ago as he has had 3 fiancees during this time and I got remarried. He makes almost double what he did 12 years ago and I am not completely self sufficient but I make more than I did 12 years ago. Plus we have the boys bouncing back and forth. I think all this court stuff is just so overwhelming.
Any ways to make a way too long question shorter do you think they will actually make me pay back 6 years of spousal support? Has it ever happened before? I think my income is low enough to prove a need. And I never got to establish very much of a career because I was raising his kids. They're getting bigger now so it's gotten easier but when they were all babies at once it wasn't easy.
The second part of the question is how far does retroactive usually go? When he served me these papers I realized he makes alot more than I thought and he's been underpaying me all these years. And I will probably have to pay him CS for the years when my oldest lived with him. And now that his income is so much higher he should be paying more for his youngest. And now that the middle child is living with him I should probably be paying him for that child. The oldest is graduated High School now and working full time. He still lives with his Dad but the oldest child earns way more money than I do so I can't imagine I have to pay support for him.
Its such a complicated mess. I'm sorry. I can't sleep at night I`m so stressed out. Can someone ease my mind
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