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  • Contacting grandparents

    My daughter wants to connect with her grandparents and her father (who chooses not to see her, she's 16) won't give me their contact info. he hasn't seen his daughter since she was 2 yrs old, we maintained contact with his parents for another year until i told them they would have to go through him to see her (thought it would be too confusing for her to see his parents and her 1/2 sister and not him, he's not a good father and just walked away from us).

    does anyone know if i can get my daughter a lawyer to compel my ex to give me his parent's info so i can contact them for my daughter? (he made me drag him through court for basic child support, cost me over 40K and he made some atrocious accusations about me and my daugher in the court papers, i beleive he may be afraid his nasty behavior may reach his parents (to whom he lied and told i'm moved to 'Africa', piece of work! - i've never been further than NY state from ONtario!)

    dalia

  • #2
    Have you considered using search powers of the internet to locate the individuals. You may be successful.


    Google

    Canada 411

    FaceBook

    to name a few..

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    • #3
      I'm not sure a court could force him to give the info. Perhaps instead of spending the money on a lawyer you could try a private investigator or people finder instead if you can't find anything on your own?

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      • #4
        i think and hope that this would be out of the scope of the courts powers. Not that I do not think you should get the information but if a court forces someone to give information on someone who isn't even part of the case scares me. That would be giving the court system too much power.

        Is there a reason why the grandparents have not kept in contact with your daughter. Even with his lies they could have asked you for contact info if they believed you were moving.

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        • #5
          When my niece was 13 I went looking for her. My brother is a piece of work and had abandoned her when she was about 2. I found her, and 12 years later we are still in contact. She tried to make amends with her dad, but he only ended up letting her down again. In the meantime though, she now has a relationship with all her aunts, one cousin and her Grandfather. Well worth the effort I'd say.

          Good luck. You could try putting an ad in the paper maybe? some of the other suggestions are really good.

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          • #6
            did they belong to a church or some sort or organization?? If so they probably made some friends who they keep in contact with.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by dalia View Post
              My daughter wants to connect with her grandparents and her father (who chooses not to see her, she's 16) won't give me their contact info. he hasn't seen his daughter since she was 2 yrs old, we maintained contact with his parents for another year until i told them they would have to go through him to see her (thought it would be too confusing for her to see his parents and her 1/2 sister and not him, he's not a good father and just walked away from us).
              If you have to depart from common sense and wonder WTF the court might do, well then you don't get it at all do you?

              The bigger question is what were you thinking denying your daughter access to her grandparents. Please give a better reason than "i told them they would have to go through him to see her (thought it would be too confusing for her to see his parents and her 1/2 sister and not him, he's not a good father and just walked away from us)".

              Nice going Dr Spock. What a total DUMB ASS call.

              Holy crap this place never ceases to astonish.

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              • #8
                this is dumbass with a response

                <snip>If you have to depart from common sense and wonder WTF the court might do, well then you don't get it at all do you?

                The bigger question is what were you thinking denying your daughter access to her grandparents. Please give a better reason than "i told them they would have to go through him to see her (thought it would be too confusing for her to see his parents and her 1/2 sister and not him, he's not a good father and just walked away from us)".

                Nice going Dr Spock. What a total DUMB ASS call.

                Holy crap this place never ceases to astonish<snip>

                hello dadtotheend,

                thanks for your response, but my ex was a coke addict, living with a drug addicted woman and her teenage son, i lived 4hrs away from his parents. Ex threatened to drag me through court for custody if i didn't leave his parents alone. He was abusive, violent and has lots of money, i was single parent, no job taking care of young child working p/t from home,no child support, he ripped me off legally, ran up all our cc debts before he left, left me holding the bag. his parents took no initiative to travel to see their grandaughter, so with all the stress of trying to pay bills, take care of baby i had no time to do all the work accomodating his parents (with the 4 hr one way car ride, they never offered to help pay, nor did ex).

                I was vulnerable, tired, emotional and had to do what my abusive ex said because i had already watched him take his ex wife through court for 3 yrs over nothing, he did it to torment her (my ex is a lawyer if you haven't figured it out!).

                recently i finally got him in court, cost me nearly 50K just to get cs.

                he's not interested in seeing his daughter and he's threatened me not to contact his parents (which i'm not abiding by this time because i'm not scared of the sob any more).

                so, that's in a nutshell why i did what i did,

                now, do you have anything constructive to say to me about grandparents and their rights to see their grandkids? I blame them as much as i blame my ex, they should have kicked their son in the butt for what he was doing to his youngest daughter, both my daughter and myself were victims to his viciousness.

                dalia, the dumbass
                (PS I pity your kids to have such an insensitive boor for a father, you're just plain rude and ignorant)
                Last edited by dalia; 05-23-2010, 03:07 PM. Reason: edit

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                • #9
                  thanks for the suggestions, they moved and live between 3 different homes during the year, not in old neighborhood. i'll keep looking, thx
                  Last edited by dalia; 05-23-2010, 03:08 PM. Reason: edit

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