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LF32 "need to see daughter" pt.2

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  • The matter of questioning should be discussed at greater length. Both being questioned and doing it. Like all of the documentation that is being assembled, it needs to be focused, devoid of emotion, and very brief. If you're up on the stand and her lawyer tries to get your goat, you will have to keep it under control. You might want to give a long and detailed rebuttal to one of his accusations of domestic abuse, but will be better served to say "I never did anything like that, and there is no evidence or police record of what you have stated." As for your own questioning of your ex, hopefully, some of the viewers of this thread can offer some insight on how to best proceed with that.

    Comment


    • There's rules on how questioning is done. Knowing the rules is a good for step...like no leading questions as an example

      Be Honest and don't blather on and don't be evasive (questions are meant to make a person look bad. and visa versa)

      know your background history up to the point of the abduction thoroughly (all they really can ask about)

      the questions will come on support of there REPLY to the Application to support the Trial.

      so look at the allegations.

      this is a golden opportunity to find out the documents they have, that they'll use

      Comment


      • In this questioning you should not say " you are the better parent". You should demonstrate that you are the parent who will be most likely to nuture the relationship between. Both parents.

        You need to show how you are the willing communicator and you are the one who has always insisted that you are both equal 50/50 parents.

        Giving you sole custody would ensure that both parents will have equal parts in D life. Giving sole to Mother would undoubtably mean she will continue with her currant behaviour and cut child out of your life.

        Comment


        • Mr T

          If this thing gets dismissed then what? Doesn't that just leave it all in limbo? I don't imagine it automatically comes with an order to return D3. You have to prove lf32 is no threat first right?

          I would think dismissal just gets us stuck.

          Comment


          • There's too many missing pieces in this matter to draw any conclusion (and that's the OP point)

            When was the first contact with the "shelter" not the time she got there.

            Was there any preparation too leave the relationship...dog on vacation

            Why manipulate Lf32 to buy booze on his way home for work

            did she download and delete, send messages pretending to be LF32 on any electronic device

            Was Ms LF32 trying to incriminate LF32 through the taking of video's, pictures and texts prior to leaving

            Can the shelter counseller be called for questioning

            Why does the ex's mother hate LF32

            does Ms Lf32 drink and smoke Mary Jane

            Where's the police Report

            Ever threaten LF32 to take D3 to mothers

            Where is your current residence

            Can you provide proof

            when are you going back to the job you had prior to the baby

            ever tell LF32 that your not working anymore


            list of questions can get HUGE

            but who gets questioned first......and it's too bad there is no "affidavit of Documents from the OP...so questions are BLIND....if they even produce them

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
              In this questioning you should not say " you are the better parent". You should demonstrate that you are the parent who will be most likely to nuture the relationship between. Both parents.

              You need to show how you are the willing communicator and you are the one who has always insisted that you are both equal 50/50 parents.

              Giving you sole custody would ensure that both parents will have equal parts in D life. Giving sole to Mother would undoubtably mean she will continue with her currant behaviour and cut child out of your life.
              Wholeheartedly support Beachnana on this. It's vital to get your wording right. I would never challenge the mothers parenting. The only thing you can suggest is that while she is a good mother she has difficulty seeing that an equal relationship with both parents benefits D3. You want the judge to understand that you will be the one parent who can be relied on to be fair/reasonable.

              That will likely get you joint but if the mother continues to prove she can't help alienate a judge just might award you sole like WOrkingDad.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                There's too many missing pieces in this matter to draw any conclusion (and that's the OP point)

                When was the first contact with the "shelter" not the time she got there.

                Was there any preparation too leave the relationship...dog on vacation

                Why manipulate Lf32 to buy booze on his way home for work

                did she download and delete, send messages pretending to be LF32 on any electronic device

                Was Ms LF32 trying to incriminate LF32 through the taking of video's, pictures and texts prior to leaving

                Can the shelter counseller be called for questioning

                Why does the ex's mother hate LF32

                does Ms Lf32 drink and smoke Mary Jane

                Where's the police Report

                Ever threaten LF32 to take D3 to mothers

                Where is your current residence

                Can you provide proof

                when are you going back to the job you had prior to the baby

                ever tell LF32 that your not working anymore


                list of questions can get HUGE

                but who gets questioned first......and it's too bad there is no "affidavit of Documents from the OP...so questions are BLIND....if they even produce them
                Great questions. HUGE leading q's near the end and her talking VERY loudly. The whole "Youre addicted to fighting aren't you .. because you watch UFC". The other day I looked up and noticed the doorbell thing torn half off and behind it was sticky stuff. I immediately thought recording device? nanny cam? Or Im going schizophrenic with paranoia. To record what though? The one or 2 drinks I get from the fridge per night? I feel so violated. Like a spy has been living with me.

                She DID agree to go back to work after D3 was born. Didn't happen though. I put that in the family history that I "corrected" from her answer. She has threatened to take D3 to her mom's. Her exact words "judges don't give little girls to their daddy's". This was a while back.

                Either way I hope my "friend of the court" (not lawyer) can help me out with this stuff. Ex's lawyer has 27 years under his belt. I have 5 months.

                My biggest issue right now is the "non disclosure". LSUC CLEARLY says it's against rule of conduct. He's sneaky. I gave him 10 days under rule 19. He agreed and gave me 10 days. I delivered disclosure and he didn't. In my opinion all their friggin evidence should be striken at this point, just like I said it would be in my letter I he didn't deliver.

                Comment


                • 23 years being a lawyer means he's too stupid to get promoted to a Judge.

                  There's a quick way to win any case.....Just need the right question's and the right proof....then it's over.

                  This was planned in advance by her and she's sticking to her plan, until she faced with losing custody

                  Just have to get the DOTS to CONNECT

                  Comment


                  • The question is .. just how long does the planning go back and what could she have manufactured?

                    The facts:
                    - Never any police or domestics.
                    - Shes already lied about alcohol and marijuana --- > decreasing credibility.
                    - I have evidence I was NOT passed out every night (ISP in chat forum with dates/times). Blatant lies.
                    - Ive been cooperative, civil since the abduction .. she hasn't
                    -Ive disclosed .. they have not
                    - I have proof her mother has been high conflict since D3's birth
                    - Proof she was employed just prior to birth after moving from mtl
                    - Proof she's been keeping D3 from visiting extended family
                    - Proof they've been completely unreasonable. (the case Ive built)
                    - Proof access visits have been super successful albeit way too short. Also that she doesn't fear me because she's inviting me to spot. Also proof D3 is not scared of me, very affectionate and does not want to leave.
                    -Ive made it widely known that I want to cooperate and promote mothers role in D3's life. She does not. She wants me to be an EOW dad.
                    -

                    You're right .. I need to disentangle her plan. She MUST have messed up in her master plan somewhere. Im sure her dates wont make sense.
                    Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-06-2014, 01:54 PM.

                    Comment


                    • You have lots of good background and proof. Stay clear of the extended family. It is my understanding that Judges only concern is the willingness and ability of parents to parent their children. You have proven abilities and also proven that you will always support Mom as childs mother.

                      That is really all that matters. KISS.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                        You have lots of good background and proof. Stay clear of the extended family. It is my understanding that Judges only concern is the willingness and ability of parents to parent their children. You have proven abilities and also proven that you will always support Mom as childs mother.

                        That is really all that matters. KISS.
                        I do believe that to be a large advantage in my case. Im not feuding at all. Judge at CC saw that. All I kept saying is that Ill promote mother. I want to work as a team, etc. All they kept doing is mud slinging.

                        Im just trying to get past all the darn canlii's I read where the mother was the only one not cooperating and was rewarded "sole" because "joint" just wouldn't work.

                        Im have not been combative, high conflict, etc since the start nor will I be in the future.

                        I've been settlement-oriented. When OCL comes, Ill be ready to provide them with the "good" qualities the mother has.

                        I just don't want to kick myself later for not having brought forth her motives,(family, etc) , for the "Why did she leave then"? I understand what you're saying though Beach.
                        Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-06-2014, 03:48 PM.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                          I do believe that to be a large advantage in my case. Im not feuding at all. Judge at CC saw that. All I kept saying is that Ill promote mother. I want to work as a team, etc. All they kept doing is mud slinging.

                          Im just trying to get past all the darn canlii's I read where the mother was the only one not cooperating and was rewarded "sole" because "joint" just wouldn't work.

                          Im have not been combative, high conflict, etc since the start nor will I be in the future.

                          I've been settlement-oriented. When OCL comes, Ill be ready to provide them with the "good" qualities the mother has.
                          Exactly, so stop stressing and keep it focussed. My understanding is that you would go for joint custody with 50/50 parenting. She is likely going to go for sole with every other weekend deal. With moving to " home province" for support, job prospects etc and of course new boyfriend. But she will omit that detail.

                          They are going to push this to trial in the hope you will cave and take what you can get as interim means and then status quo sets in etc etc. And then good luck getting her to abide by the access you might have gained as an interim.

                          I think you are heading to the 4% group. Hopefully legal aid runs out and she has to cave first. Its like you are playing " road chicken". I hope you do not flinch first!

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                            Exactly, so stop stressing and keep it focussed. My understanding is that you would go for joint custody with 50/50 parenting. She is likely going to go for sole with every other weekend deal. With moving to " home province" for support, job prospects etc and of course new boyfriend. But she will omit that detail.

                            They are going to push this to trial in the hope you will cave and take what you can get as interim means and then status quo sets in etc etc. And then good luck getting her to abide by the access you might have gained as an interim.

                            I think you are heading to the 4% group. Hopefully legal aid runs out and she has to cave first. Its like you are playing " road chicken". I hope you do not flinch first!
                            I won't let them force me in to an interim deal that will screw me. They want to play road chicken? I won't flinch. I do believe you're right on that strategy though. I also believe that they want to go to trial. Will this lawyer actually work for free? That's the question. I hear many do. The second the ex has to start thinking $$ this is over.

                            I do have another person on my side now. I hope to god she can strike up some sort of settlement with ex's lawyer. I'm a good father and its in the child's best interest to not prolong this.
                            Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-06-2014, 04:00 PM.

                            Comment


                            • whenever I see comment's that urge DAD to acquiesce on his rights as a parent and D3 rights to be with DAD....I flip it around and think would the same opinion be pushed onto Ms LF32.... which is very doubtful.

                              Ms LF32 has no right to steal his child

                              Ms LF32 has no right to steal the child again to move out of province. PERIOD

                              Who cares about what Ms LF32 does or feel or think or if it goes to Trial, DAD has rights and D3 has her rights to see him

                              DAD is setup to pay for D3 well being

                              ONLY thing keeping DAD from his rights is a LIAR......and that's the part that Ms LF32 is prepared to risk and when found out she loses Custody...PERIOD

                              Comment


                              • To keep it simple I'd be emphasizing that child must be be returned to her home.

                                Once child has been returned to her home the mother and father can work on parenting plan.

                                Mother can live wherever she chooses.

                                Keep focus on child and child's residence. Child does not belong in a women's shelter. Child has her own home/bedroom full of child's toys etc. Child will be going to local school with playmates.

                                Comment

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