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  • custody calendar

    Do you use a detailed custody calendar--one that specifies who will have custody for each day of the upcoming year? Are these standard? Are they court-ordered?

    Thank you

  • #2
    Not standard, rarely court ordered. Often when you file your court arguments, you propose a "parenting plan" which will include a calendar proposal, so that is how it might end up incorporated into a court order.

    We use one but after 5 years we barely look at it anymore. I found using the calendar during the first years before we had an agreement was essential, and I used it to track how many days, when we traded off days, had makeup days, when each of us took the kids to the doctor, etc., because those all became issues in the custody argument.

    Now we barely notice it, but when we swap weekends or plan vacation I still add it in just so I have something to look at if I forget.

    We use a google calendar page that we can both access and it sends us both reminders/invitations.

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    • #3
      It can be extremely useful to take a proposed parenting plan (i.e. with the vacation, stat holiday, regular access schedule details) and make a calendar with it. You may find that what you are considering for XMas, for example, will end up really favouring one parent or the other, or just being unworkable in some other way. By looking in advance at how actual dates fall you can fine tune the terms to head off future disputes caused by vague or unfair terms.

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      • #4
        I used the custodyxchange software Child Custody & Visitation Calendar Software - Child Custody X Change (just the free download)....to get the percentages of time with both parents and school time included. Then I transferred the whole thing into Excel so I could print a .pdf.

        I then put together a draft parenting plan which detailed the holiday schedule that I thought was fair.

        We don't have an agreement yet but I gave the documentation to the custody assessor and plan to attach it to my next court action and use it as the basis for the starting point on an agreement.

        There's a draft parenting plan in this site that Blink directed me to that was very helpful as a start.

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        • #5
          Thanks everyone. Any other comments from others? I'm getting the idea that it's not common to go to court to have a custody calendar ratified but sometimes it happens especially in the beginning. personally I see a lot of sense with getting one court-ordered to make it really really clear what's happening and what's expected. because sometimes the generalities just don't cut it. especially when the ex wants to play games with it and make his own interpretations of what the general provisions mean, at whim, causing uncertainty and stress and a bit of randomness. we're a bit new at this.

          I just downloaded a free trial of custody x change last night. It works pretty well. but the free trial doesn't allow exporting, printing or even alt-print-screen! Darn. I have a manually-done version anyway but it's a lot of work to do it manually.

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          • #6
            Moon:

            Yes, i'm sorry about that. The custodyX trial won't let you do much. I literally just used it to calculate the percentages. Then I used Excel to basically re-created the same calendar and filled it in with colored square shapes and text boxes.

            It didn't take more than an hour or two. What you really need the software for is to calculate the correct timing percentages for mom, dad and school/babysitting time.

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            • #7
              Pursuinghappiness,

              Yes, I thought the school/daycare time option was interesting, but it's my understanding that custody is calculated not considering the school/daycare time. At one point i wanted to make the argument that the ex would have more quality time with the kids than me because I work full time and he doesn't. but from reading on here I was convinced it would be an uphill sort of argument to put forward to ask for more quality time.

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              • #8
                Right..its not considered...so I made it a third colour and didn't calculate it in the overall percentages.

                You're being very pro-active getting this done in advance. I think its a good use of time.

                Comment

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