ex moved out of the country

[browneyedgirl]

recently, i found out that my ex is now in new york. i have to cancel everything i started here in ontario, as far as child support thru the FRO and start a new application now. i was wondering if anyone knows what the amount of $ i would be entitled to since hes out of country now. ive tried searching online but havent had much luck. any help/advice is appreciated!!

[blinkandimgone]

I'm pretty sure it's the same, it's based on his income but everything should be done in the location where the children are so it would be up to him to hoof it back here to go to court.

[NBDad]

Well you started things in Ontario, so that sets jurisdiction here. Does he work for an American company? Do they have a Canadian branch? If so, FRO should still be able to enforce.

[browneyedgirl]

well, it turns out he lied to me and is still in BC. luckily i caught it before they cancelled everything and it was sent back to me. hes moving though in 2 months so im hoping hes served before then. hes not working, and most recently, told me that he cant pay anything bc hes barely getting by on what hes given by welfare. at this rate, i wont see a dime. and he has an excuse for everything as to why he barely contacts me to inquire about our daughter's well being. when he does, we fight, mostly bc im angry it takes so long for him to appear to care. part of me wants to tell him to not bother until he can start paying c/s or at least OFFER something! he took himself out of her life, and now complains about it. sorry for the vent/rant, but im not sure what to do with regards to him anymore.

[HammerDad]

he barely contacts me to inquire about our daughter's well being. when he does, we fight, mostly bc im angry it takes so long for him to appear to care.

Or he may not call because you are always angry and the conversations turn to arguments.

I know I rarely, if ever, called my ex regarding my daughter because the conversations were never pleasant and it always ended up making matters worse. So the more I limited contact with her, the better my relationship with my child was.

You need to let go of your anger, tell him what important matters are going on with the child and leave it at that. Conversations are to be child centric and amicable. If you can't do that on the phone, take it to email.

part of me wants to tell him to not bother until he can start paying c/s or at least OFFER something!

No, that isn't the way it works. C/S and access or at least contact are not connected and you do not get to determine that he doesn't get to see his child or is not entitled to information based on his inability to pay support. You will be raked over the coals in court should you try to suggest such.

he took himself out of her life, and now complains about it.

And now it seems like you are doing an OK job keeping out. By constantly arguing and refusing to coparent based on c/s and other matters you are not helping your case.

The more difficult you are with him in refusing information and arguing, the less likely he will be inclined to be an active parent in your childs life. I have no idea about what kind of man he is, or anything about him, but I do know that I wouldn't want to be part of something where all I got from the other side was hostility and demands.

[browneyedgirl]

He doesnt call. Never has, he only sporadically messages me on MSN. things are always fine between us until i ask about whether hes working yet or even looking for work(he didnt work the entire 2yrs we were together). i should also note that our child is only 16months old.he left when she was 7months, and hasnt seen her since, or asked about coming to see her. ive never once demanded money from him, only asked if he can send me some, even 10bucks to help out. it feels like he wants all the benefits without doing any of the work in a sense, and i know hes entitled to information-which i do give, which isnt "enough" as far as hes concerned even though i tell him new things shes doing etc. hes not made this any easier on me either, its not me who lied for months on end about where i was living so i couldnt file custody paperwork, or disappeared without a word.im letting go of my anger, im way over what happened between him and i, but every time i think things are ok with him he decides to play games.

[HammerDad]

things are always fine between us until i ask about whether hes working yet or even looking for work(he didnt work the entire 2yrs we were together).

Why do you care? And if you know this will cause problems, why ask?

Yes you are entitled to child support, but you are going about it the wrong way. If he is capable of working and you know where he is currently residing, go to court with a motion for child support and for the court to impute his income to at least full time minimum wage. Then file that with your provinces family maintenance program and should he get a job, he will be garnished. If he is arrears, they will keep any tax returns etc. and transfer them to you.

Yes, he will get pissed, but you need to do that instead of bringing up an issue that you know causes conflict, and go to advising him of the child and show at least an effort to co-parent as if you do and let him know you had to file with the courts, I bet he will be more forth-coming with interest and money in the end.

Anyway, you cannot not force someone to be parent, so it would be best to remember that and not stress yourself over it. He may be a bad dad, but he is the only dad your child has. Pick your battles and stay focused on the child and you will enjoy your time much more thoroughly.

[browneyedgirl]

i only ask him because he repeatedly tells me he moved there so he can get a job-then says he cant bc of the job market and because he "needs his license" to get a job..anyhow, ive filed w.the FRO so far and am still waiting to have him served-its been over 4months now. do i have to file with the court separetly from FRO with regards to "impute" his income? i thought the FRO handled everything since hes out of province.

[HammerDad]

do i have to file with the court separetly from FRO with regards to "impute" his income? i thought the FRO handled everything since hes out of province.

If you have a court order for support already and have filed it FRO, let them deal with collection.

As for imputing his income, they will not do that. They will only collect as much as the court tells them to. If your current order provides that you are entitled to $200 a month, that is all they will collect until told otherwise.

If he is capable of making $50k a year, you would have to go to court and get an order imputing his income at such level and then file it with the courts. I note that in order to impute his income you will have to argue he is qualified for employment that would pay a salary at that level. You couldn't impute his income to $100k as if he was an accountant if all he has a GED, no accounting background and no drivers license, as he doesn't have the skills necessary to do the job.

[browneyedgirl]

i dont have a court order for support because i didnt file for one at the time i filed for custody-he had already moved out of province so i was advised id have to go thru the FRO for that. as for education, hes never graduated h/s or been to college, and im sure imputing his income-even after hes employed-is pointless. ill just take what ever the government gives me at this point.