Custody - have things changed?

[HappyMomma]

I have a question - I know courts used to be fairly one sided when it came to granting custody. Has that changed? Is it now easier for men to get shared/sole custody?

[dinkyface]

Not based on current experience... so far, but that was for a very young female child and the parents split before the child was born. Mother insisted cooperative parenting was impossible because father was physically and emotionally abusive, controlling, hated children, had bad relationships with women (tell that to his ex's who are still his best friends!). Enough of the shit stuck - and father was not the type to throw it back.

[got2bkid]

The idea of shared parenting is supported by 80% or woman and 78% of men in Cananda. This is not the 50's where women looked after the kids and dad worked, and when they divorced mom got the kids and dad went a rented a cheap bachelor suite in some building for single men and saw his kids rarely.

All the men I know in my life are active, involved and loving fathers. I can honestly say that. Even if the man works longer hours at work, they are equally involved when home with the kids. Dads do so much more with their kids than a typical dad "in the old days" (Yes, I know there are exceptions, but in general).

Most men are enamoured with their little ones and love them to death, just like the moms. I think courts are recognizing times are changing and should make shared custody arrangements more often.

Many men don't even realize they have this right to their own kids (baring abusive situations of course where kids would go with the non-abusive parent, male or female).

In reality the love between the parents is lost but the love between father-child is still 100% there. There is a bill in congress right now (C-422 I think, check Maurice Vellacots web-site) which would make shared parenting the presumption, unless the parents decide differently or if abuse is involved. I encourage everyone to write their MP's and show your support for this bill!

Women would also benefit from shared parenting, it is a way for women to have more equality with men in the work-force and in total family responsibilities.

[ThisTooShallPass_KeepSmil]

There is a fantastic book called Tug of War by Mr. Justice Harvey Brownstone, who is an Ontario Family Court Justice. I highly recommend anyone involved in divorce/custody/access to read it.

In the book the Justice talks about custody and access. If you are seeking access you should do your work to ensure that you have immediate access to your child. The longer the situation remains in place the harder a justice will make a move to change childrens custody and access. If it has been in place for a while by the time a justice hears a case...the less it will be adjusted. Barring Physical and/or mental abuse of course.

Whats in the best interest of a child. To be with both parents for sure. But make sure you have the access/custody you want right off the bat or get a motion to fix it ASAP!