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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-02-2019, 09:36 AM
backinthesaddle backinthesaddle is offline
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Default How is need determined for spousal support?

We are going back and forth on our separation agreement. We were amicable until ex decided I didn't deserve anything because I didn't work full time. However, I worked part time for ten years of our marriage and worked around ex's schedule so he could contribute to his pension and climb the ladder at work with promotions and raises etc. We have the same job but clearly mine was derailed for a family decision that I stay home. So pension decreased, promotions non existent etc. For the last 3 years of our marriage I worked full time and now exceed ex on the pay scale. However, my earning capacity should have been far above what is is now and had I been working full time this should have happened over ten years ago. I can never make this time and money up in my pension because I am too old and nearing retirement. I am entitled to a portion of his pension but not nearly enough to make up for it. I still have to work 5 years longer than everyone else to obtain the equivalent had I not taken time off to have kids and stay home. No regrets at all, just the financial implications of divorce weigh on me. So, I am taking less in the equalization factor because ex is using child support as a bargaining tool for me to take less. He also had his lawyer write in the agreement that should I ever ask for child support (2 kids left at home 15,7) then he will request spousal support. We are 50/50 with kids but his relationship with them is not the greatest. The older one lives with me full time but too old to factor in support etc. Should a child ever decide to live with me it appears I am being bullied into not asking for child support otherwise he will ask for spousal. He has been off for many years for disability (still makes over 70k per year) but not once did he look after the children while off. His mental state was such that I still worked part time to care for the children while he was off. I put my youngest in daycare when I went back to work full time. At no time did he sacrifice his career to care for our family. I am now trying to play catch up so ensure I have a decent retirement and missed out on the best years of one's earning potential and promotional processes. Just because I now make more money does this negate the entire length of marriage and the sacrifices one made? I can see how it factors in for child support but there is no need for me to support him. He isn't destitute and is living in a 900k home, boat, cottage (not part of equalization), 2 nice cars, pension. This doesn't seem right to me.... Nothing does in family law but if anyone has experience with how spousal support is determined please fill me in.
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Old 11-02-2019, 12:16 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Default

A) he canít NOT pay cs so he is barking up the wrong tree with that one. Kids are at home with you and he has limited time therefore he pays cs. Period. Stop fretting about that.

B) if your career was impacted and your pension as well, you could make that offer for that amount and have him pay it right into a RRSP. You also can apply for a portion of his CPP credits too.
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Old 11-02-2019, 12:50 PM
backinthesaddle backinthesaddle is offline
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Default Clarify

At the moment custody is 50/50. I make more on paper but take home is equal due to disability payments and now Iím paying to pension and dues etc. He still pays into the pension but insurance does this not his take home pay. I do more with the kids and he knows this and they would be directly impacted if I had to pay him support. He uses it to scare me but the possibility is there. I have agreed to take less ie 100k less in lieu of this. However, my concern is 5 years down the road and a child no longer wants to live with him. The agreement he directed his lawyer to draft up states if I ask for CS then he will request spousal that he think he is entitled to. My lawyer has already stated he isnít entitled but wondering why he keeps scaring me with ďif you do this I will get spousal cause you make moreĒ. His lawyer wonít tell him he isnít entitled or is this just a lawyer who is afraid of telling his client. He retained him simply to draft up agreement. Doesnít want to pay for a dime more.
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Old 11-02-2019, 02:38 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Put a waiver regarding SS in the agreement. If he isnít entitled to it now, he isnít entitled to it then... if you taking $100K less is in lieu of SS then have that written in the agreement. CS is black and white so if the child decides to come live with you then he pays. SS is more complicated and heíd have to take it to court. Itís a scare tactic.


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