My ex and I share custody of our children. When we were together, we never had trouble agreeing on what was best for the children. We agreed that they should be active in sports or non-sport interests. We always put them first when it came to financial matters.
Now that we are divorced, my ex is CONSTANTLY making parenting choices that I find not only baffling but incredibly hurtful to the children. For instance, whereas he used to attend all their games, practices, events he almost never shows anymore. When they have events during his access time he inevitably comes up with an excuse not to take them. They invite him to be a part of their things and he always says he doesn't have time or can't afford it.
I KNOW that I cannot control the parent that he wants to be and I'm certainly not capable of changing his mind on anything. So my question is how do you let go? The kids are preteen and old enough to see through the excuses, but not old enough to feel like they have the power to do anything about it. Inevitably I feel like I have to champion for them, but in my heart I know that it only creates more conflict as the ex thinks I am trying to "tell him how to parent".
How do others handle co-parenting issues? How do you remain detached when your ex does something you don't agree with? And does it ever get better?....easier?
Now that we are divorced, my ex is CONSTANTLY making parenting choices that I find not only baffling but incredibly hurtful to the children. For instance, whereas he used to attend all their games, practices, events he almost never shows anymore. When they have events during his access time he inevitably comes up with an excuse not to take them. They invite him to be a part of their things and he always says he doesn't have time or can't afford it.
I KNOW that I cannot control the parent that he wants to be and I'm certainly not capable of changing his mind on anything. So my question is how do you let go? The kids are preteen and old enough to see through the excuses, but not old enough to feel like they have the power to do anything about it. Inevitably I feel like I have to champion for them, but in my heart I know that it only creates more conflict as the ex thinks I am trying to "tell him how to parent".
How do others handle co-parenting issues? How do you remain detached when your ex does something you don't agree with? And does it ever get better?....easier?
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