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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 01-16-2020, 01:40 PM
JAAJ2016 JAAJ2016 is offline
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Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
To add to this comment, do NOT get stuck in endless cycles of settlement conferences when one of the 4 persons involved (either party or their lawyers) are being unreasonable. That's what bankrupts you and then you are stuck signing something to end the litigation or stuck self-repping.
What do you recommend? It's pretty much at insane level at the moment. Both the other party and his lawyer have been exceedingly unreasonable since the beginning. To complicate matters, his lawyer is also representing my ex's partner, who is the ex-spouse of my partner (those two got together after we did and pulled all the kids into a spewing hole of nonsense for the last 3 years). So lawyer is repping a couple against a couple in 2 separate cases. Oh, and I'm self-repping (vultures, stay away).

Top that!

Last edited by JAAJ2016; 01-16-2020 at 01:43 PM. Reason: forgot detail
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  #12  
Old 01-16-2020, 02:03 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Originally Posted by JAAJ2016 View Post
What do you recommend?
I am not as experienced as others in this group so will defer to them to provide better insight. However I do have my own experience of going through 4 settlement conferences over a 2 year period. Each one costing thousands of dollars. Each one pointless. Even had the judge yelling at the other side for being so unreasonable. Does nothing. As others have said, nothing gets accomplished at these things unless on consent. Your briefs can a work of art and it doesn't matter as they get given back to you at end of day.

Some litigants do it on purpose to continuously schedule settlement conferences. Lines the lawyers pockets. Often used to argue a false a status quo. "Look, its been like this for 4 years and everything is working just fine..."

My advice: Work as best you can to get out of the courtroom saga. Do it for your kids sake, for your wallet's sake, for your sanity.
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  #13  
Old 01-16-2020, 04:50 PM
JAAJ2016 JAAJ2016 is offline
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Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post

My advice: Work as best you can to get out of the courtroom saga. Do it for your kids sake, for your wallet's sake, for your sanity.
But the problem is, once you start an application, they file one right back at you, so it puts the battle at a stalemate. No one can drop it. And nothing changes. Add anger or revenge or mental health issues, and you're screwed.

And so either nothing gets accomplished, or nothing gets accomplished and there is endless battling and everyone loses their shirt (financial or sanity). It's a real catch-22 that the legal system seems not to mind.
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  #14  
Old 01-16-2020, 08:15 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Read the above post again then read it once more. Refuse to participate in any more than one settlement conference and put your foot down. Case conferences and settlement conferences will be never ending if one of the four parties is unreasonable. I have spent my entire life savings and then some (over $300,000) because my STBX and his lawyer are both unreasonable, uncooperative and stall every chance they get. Please, please, please head our advice. If you follow this advice, thereby screwing the family court lawyers and judges and other leeches out of your hard earned money, it would put a smile on my face.
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  #15  
Old 01-16-2020, 08:35 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by JAAJ2016 View Post
Good call there, Tayken. Thanks for that.
It still makes me curious why there is a section on the brief that asks if there are any orders the party wants the judge to make, though.
T minus one day and counting....
That is for procedural order requests. Requests for disclosure, financial statements etc... A judge CAN order child support if they have Form 13's and financial disclosure. Which are technically required by the rules. But, anything that requires evidence and cross-examination requires a motion or trial.
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  #16  
Old 01-18-2020, 10:14 AM
JAAJ2016 JAAJ2016 is offline
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Turns out, some judges absolutely read and focus on unauthenticated and unofficial transcripts and texts. Turns out that some just love it and provide lots of feedback and commentary on it.
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Old 01-18-2020, 08:58 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Originally Posted by JAAJ2016 View Post
Turns out, some judges absolutely read and focus on unauthenticated and unofficial transcripts and texts. Turns out that some just love it and provide lots of feedback and commentary on it.
Not in my experience. Went through numerous judges, which was frustrating. And each one was the same scene—-it was obvious the judge DID NOT read a thing. Unless you are 1st in line on your court date, the judge will have only skimmed the material at best between cases. Again, I expected the judge to be knowledgeable of our case, and give actual feedback on the issues, but instead all they tell you is to go away and come back in 6 months for another settlement conference and repeat cycle till one of you goes broke or gives in to the other.
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  #18  
Old 01-18-2020, 10:09 PM
JAAJ2016 JAAJ2016 is offline
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I really wish that would have been the case.
I understand that this judge was recently instated, and I could see that they read the briefs through and through. They lambasted me big time for the transcript and the texts despite the lack of authenticity, date, context, etc., even after I pointed out several issues about its use in its current state. She only cared about my language. That's all. I was advised no fewer than 5 times to get legal counsel if I wished to take my (baseless) case further. My arguments were taken from case laws, in fact. I thought and do think they are sound. No one cared or listened. They only cared about the transcript and outdated and irrelevant texts, as if the last 3 years of our lives clung to this supposed meaningful existence and gave all answers to how to interpret our hell and define our witches and winners. Oh, and they talked a lot about financials, of course.
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  #19  
Old 01-19-2020, 09:56 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Originally Posted by JAAJ2016 View Post
Thanks, Selfrepmom.
I'm really hoping a judge will recognize that. If it's brought up, I will also draw the judge's attention then to the 2nd language that was used in the conversation yet was not transcribed. How do I know that bad language and threats weren't used in those 4 parts of the conversation...? And so on...
And then there was the enlarged photo of one of my children with their dad's GF and her kids doing crafts and looking happy. Funnily, that pic was taken 2 weeks ago. I know the date by my daughter's outfit. Ha, it's too much.
It really is a farce. Anything at all goes.
did you have that part transcribed at all yourself to see if there were any threats or whatever? If i suspected it at all then I would have at least searched online myself to see what the words meant.
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  #20  
Old 01-19-2020, 01:14 PM
JAAJ2016 JAAJ2016 is offline
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did you have that part transcribed at all yourself to see if there were any threats or whatever? If i suspected it at all then I would have at least searched online myself to see what the words meant.
Yes, but I did not have access to this recording, which was one of my objections in court actually. Only the written transcript was provided as part of the case conference brief. I was already able to identify mistakes in the English hurting that was used by the English speakers so it wasn't a very good transcription anyway. And also when the language was being spoken, like with all other organically occurring 4-way conversations, there is a fair amount of overlapping in voices, and even if I understood language, it would be very difficult to search the words myself.
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