Hello, I am really struggling to get through this. I don't understand divorce as the thought has never crossed my mind. I am still very much in love, and want to continue to work things out. My wife however, is done.
We have been married for 11 years and we've been faithful to eachother. I've been able to provide for us financially. We started fighting about two years ago when my wife went back to school after having our son. She was stressed, tired, and wanted me to do more. We had a live-in nanny, she cooked and cleaned and we both were excellent parents to our son. My nanny got pregnant, quit and thing got worse. We went through 3 more nannies in the next six months, then had my father look after our son for about a month. We decided to put him in a day home.
My wife started cutting me off from sex. This in turn made me upset and I grew a short fuse. We would fight about cleaning and sex. She would tell me, "pick up your clothes off the floor." Or, "dry the drops of water after you shower." I did so and thusly expected attendance to improve in the sack. It never did so (foolishly), got more upset and called her names. I felt like a dog doing tricks for a treat.
Ultimately, we went to therapy twice, I found out how hurt she was and vowed to drop the anger. Which actually was easy. It was like a switch.
Things got better, for about a month. Then she started talking of divorce. We have VERY different views on divorce. We started fighting again. I got angry again, and she was done.
I guess my rant is that it really felt like we were making progress. To me at least. I feel like I can offer her so much. We never fought about our son, money, there was NEVER any physical abuse. Just sex, or lack thereof, and cleaning ( after therapy I cleaned like crazy, I still am).
Bottom line is I believe our problems are all solvable with hard work, patience and time. We lose so much being apart.
Now I am hurt beyond belief, confused, angry at her and the situation, and desperately sad. My son cries every night for his mother. I haven't been able to keep him for my full four days as I invite her over so she can sleep with him. I do so because just for a fleeting moment, I can feel like a family once again.
I can't make her love me, but I can't stop loving her. I harass her with love emails and texts, then lash out and question why she is giving up.
I am not handling this well.
Time will heal me I know. I just want to keep trying. I don't know what to do as we are prepping to do battle via lawyers and I know it won't be pretty for either of us. I just love her so much. I want to try. But there's no trail separation, no more than two therapy sessions, only lawyers and more fighting.
This is a nightmare.
We have been married for 11 years and we've been faithful to eachother. I've been able to provide for us financially. We started fighting about two years ago when my wife went back to school after having our son. She was stressed, tired, and wanted me to do more. We had a live-in nanny, she cooked and cleaned and we both were excellent parents to our son. My nanny got pregnant, quit and thing got worse. We went through 3 more nannies in the next six months, then had my father look after our son for about a month. We decided to put him in a day home.
My wife started cutting me off from sex. This in turn made me upset and I grew a short fuse. We would fight about cleaning and sex. She would tell me, "pick up your clothes off the floor." Or, "dry the drops of water after you shower." I did so and thusly expected attendance to improve in the sack. It never did so (foolishly), got more upset and called her names. I felt like a dog doing tricks for a treat.
Ultimately, we went to therapy twice, I found out how hurt she was and vowed to drop the anger. Which actually was easy. It was like a switch.
Things got better, for about a month. Then she started talking of divorce. We have VERY different views on divorce. We started fighting again. I got angry again, and she was done.
I guess my rant is that it really felt like we were making progress. To me at least. I feel like I can offer her so much. We never fought about our son, money, there was NEVER any physical abuse. Just sex, or lack thereof, and cleaning ( after therapy I cleaned like crazy, I still am).
Bottom line is I believe our problems are all solvable with hard work, patience and time. We lose so much being apart.
Now I am hurt beyond belief, confused, angry at her and the situation, and desperately sad. My son cries every night for his mother. I haven't been able to keep him for my full four days as I invite her over so she can sleep with him. I do so because just for a fleeting moment, I can feel like a family once again.
I can't make her love me, but I can't stop loving her. I harass her with love emails and texts, then lash out and question why she is giving up.
I am not handling this well.
Time will heal me I know. I just want to keep trying. I don't know what to do as we are prepping to do battle via lawyers and I know it won't be pretty for either of us. I just love her so much. I want to try. But there's no trail separation, no more than two therapy sessions, only lawyers and more fighting.
This is a nightmare.
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