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My Story of getting along with STBX

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  • #16
    ***UPDATE***

    On April 30, went down to the Courthouse and filed the 8A - Application. We are filing joint..... now to wait the 6 weeks (-ish) to get confirmation the clearance has been returned, then off to file the next package of paperwork (and the next cheque!) LOL!!

    My BF had asked me if stbx was paying for any of this, and I said no. IMO it was me who moved out, me who started the proceedings, and me who is looking forward to the freedom...... I am paying for the paperwork myself.... ((on a sarcastic note - looking forward to the "haters" ripping on me for "being so selfish" but I'm rather proud of myself for standing on my own two feet....lol!!))

    In the last few months, things have been going well! Stbx and I have ironed out the last couple of wrinkles dealing with support. We are communicating well.... and I'm just hoping to hell we can continue doing so! LOL!!

    And yes, he is fully aware that bf and I are still together.... there's been no drama, other than a couple eye rolls.... it's *finally* clued in for him when he signed the 8A that I am not changing my mind and I am not coming back to him! LOL!

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    • #17
      Cbarker:

      You won't get any hate from me...actually, I'm more than a bit envious. I wish I had been able to figure out a way to sort out my divorce more amicably and a whole lot quicker.

      There is nothing wrong with recognizing that a marriage can't work and ending it once you've exhausted all attempts at reconciliation....in fact, the sooner the better, in my opinion. I'm not a big fan of people who stay in marriages while bitching endlessly about a partner that they have no chance of being happy with.

      Congratulations at how smoothly things are going for you. Your divorce is a great example of how things can be when people are reasonable, emotionally stable and not motivated by negativity.

      Best wishes!

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      • #18
        LOL!! Thanks PH!!

        I had wrote that part tongue-in-cheek having just finished reading through Canary mom's thread... laughing the whole time!! LOL



        It's a beautiful day here and I'm just in good spirits

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        • #19
          Running into this friend was a wonderful twist of Fate. But no matter what role he plays in my life he is back in my life and I'm not going to give up on a great friend for the sake of someone else!!



          @Blinking - LOL!! Sounds like that's a great story!! Congrats that your friend is back in your life too!! I am also one of those "crazy" people who believes men & women can be Just Friends!! LOL!! I have also been able to remain friends with my list of ex-boyfriends

          K CBarker and Blink,

          Good for you! I too have always had male friends, more male than female. My stbx never understood that and never trusted me. He accused me point blank on 3 different occasions of having affairs, which I was NOT, and picked 3 different men as well for each occasion. Not a nice feeling to be so mistrusted, when you haven't done anything. The last time he did I told him if he ever accused me again I was out of there. He never did, but I could tell he didn't trust me. It's unfortunate that he was so insecure that he felt that way.

          Now after almost 6 months seperated I am still on my own, so I hope it is clear to him that his mistrust was unfounded. I still maintain my male friendships, I appreciate the different perspective they have on issues. But I have also met a couple of wonderful women who have gone through this process and we support each other and have lots of laughs.

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          • #20
            Funny story to add to that.... chatting with stbx last week and he was telling me about how some other friends were doing. His buddy ("G") is out of town every week for work, so stbx has still been going over and hanging out or playing cards with G's wife ("M").... well now G is accusing (or suggesting) that my stbx is having an affair with M!!

            I roared with laughter over that one. I point blank asked stbx how that felt - to be accused of something so awful by someone you are close to for absolutely nothing going on?! He said he finally "got it"..... yeah - too many years too late!!

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            • #21
              Yup, got that one totally...feels awfull. At first I tried to be understanding when he accused me, but by the 3rd time I was fed up.

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