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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-20-2018, 02:48 AM
triplejjulius triplejjulius is offline
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Default Upcoming Motion after Case Conference

Hi Everyone,


I was at a case conference last week. I am a self -rep. My take away was that the Judge came out hard on me because I am self representing and tried to get me to agree to all sort of things requested by the A/M to which I mostly refused. -Because I have read of these types of intimidation tactics of self reps within the court system on this forum.


The judge immediately jumped on me saying I haven't paid any child support since separation about 3 years ago and said he read all the materials before the conference. If he really read my entire brief he should have seen it where it was written and the affidavits showing that I haven't missed a month without paying child support without any agreement. I was only asking for the amounts to be set-off amounts since we both have our child 50% of the time-Shared custody.


The Judge then wanted me to agree to pay my ex-spousal support right away-saying the huge household debt which I am stuck with now doesn't matter. I have to pay spousal support irrespective of that because it's support and she needs it.(my ex). He said if I didn't agree to pay about $1,500 in spousal support at the low end, I would lose in a motion and will have to pay my ex's legal bills.


I didn't quite understand why the judge was being so aggressive and it took me a while to gather myself-but then I remembered things I read on this forum-thanks to the forum! . I did get calm down and got my points across firmly.


My advise to other self reps -please make very good use of duty counsel while you are in court and if possible. They provided me with a lot of assistance.


In the end the Judge did appear to calm down and was more receptive to what I had to say however he still he ordered full guideline child support on a temporary non-prejudice basis until motion is heard in about 2 months. It could have gone either way as the Judge appeared to contemplate and struggle a bit with what to do in the end.


He also agreed that Ex who has a lawyer can take the issue of spousal support to the same motion and he said well, I as the R/F can ask for a reduction in child support at that motion, but need to provide proof of how my costs have gone up.-he wrote that on the endorsement. Also Judge allowed me to ask that the matrimonial home be sold at the motion.-not sure if I even want to do this now because the proceeds will just sit with a real estate lawyer. Am I right on this?


Our Conference started right on time in the morning and I was surprised it wasn't busy at the court house and we were in and out of the room 4 times and each time we would go back to meet with the judge again for another 20 minutes or so. We finally completed about 6 hours later.


QUESTION- my biggest headache now is what to do next-I can't afford to pay spousal support until property division is complete. Is it a good advise to even agree to pay spousal support since we already have date for a settlement conference which is another 2 months after the motion date?. Ex is asking for it almost 3 years after separation and the judge said I could be paying this for between 4-11 years.
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