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  • #46
    why is it that he has to be the one to agree to her demands?
    And that's just the thing, he doesn't. That's not what mediation is for. She may think that they'll go in there, she'll state her position and refuse to budge and the mediator will somehow coach him to meet her at her position. You need a judge at this point, IMO.

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    • #47
      I still think that it's not in Dad's interest to be the one refusing to mediate (if Mom is offering it). Go through the motions, then you're clear to go to court. (And forgive me for mentioning it, but of course Dad's lawyer is telling him that he should go straight to court, never mind the agreement - the lawyer has a financial incentive to move things to court).

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      • #48
        This lawyer wont be representing him. He would have to find another lawyer where the kids are. Lawyer has no financial stake in it other than an hour of advice.

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        • #49
          Some people just want to stay connected and I believe your spouse's ex is laying out the bait and your spouse is going for the bait (considering mediation).

          If two parties cannot mediate (as evidenced by your spouse's ex walking out mediation in the past) then you have no obligation to continue the process. IMO your spouse should proceed directly to court. The two of the parties will have plenty of opportunity to continue on their sicko relationship through the ensuing court conferences. Then....... finally there might be a resolution made by a court. I would focus in a big way about a clause in the next Order that deters future litigation. Mediation, IMO, is just another way for lawyers to rake in money from people who have difficulties with "control." You should look to the fastest route to court for a decisive decision in your family law matter.

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          • #50
            If there was a way for me to unlock the secret to why he continues to allow this woman to stress him out I would. No matter how many times I say "who cares" or "let her do it" he doesnt get it. Now hes worried that his letter (which the lawyer drafted) was too confrontational. Hes back to being terrified of going to court. Its the only thing to solve this and put a stop to her shenanigans! I know it all boils down to the kids. She controls the kids and that is what bothers him. Im hoping he will get to the point where he realizes he cannot change their mind, he has to protect himself. As long as he lets the thing with the kids consume him, she will continue to be able to control his behaviour and keep him tethered to her drama.

            /frustrated

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            • #51
              My opinion... the mediators will juts take the Spousal Support Guidelines and run the number. They will not take into consideration any actual family/divorce law. UNLESS, you actually go to a credible mediator. Philip Epstein is a good one. My crappy mediators "ran the numbers" and then the lawyers who wrote it up manipulated the wording and the clauses. My lawyer was terrible, and now 3 years later have a bad agreement that I am paying more money to fight against. Just be careful.

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              • #52
                Doesnt involve ss but thanks!

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