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  • #16
    AND if she tries that game, you ask for a DNA test.

    Usually what happens with that is you get ordered to undergo it...she pays for herself and the baby, and you pay for you. If you ARE NOT the father, you'll have to compensate her for her test and the babies test. If you ARE the father...she pays you for your test and sucks up the cost for her and the baby.

    You then ask for COSTS because she's forcing you into court action by being unreasonable and playing games.

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    • #17
      What if she refuses to send back or accept the letter?
      You get a tracking number when you send it signature required. You take the tracking number, plug it into the website, and monitor the status.

      Then you have proof you tried to be reasonable. And when you go to a lawyer and pull her into court, you immediately begin requesting costs on each motion. Since the only reason you are IN court is because she's not being reasonable.

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      • #18
        Could I not personally drop it off at her house? And would it be better to go to court before or after the baby is born?

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        • #19
          Could I not personally drop it off at her house?
          And you intend to prove you gave her the letter how exactly?

          Here's the thing, unless you have a signed agreement, that's been reviewed by independent legal counsel on BOTH sides...you go NOWHERE near her without either 1. a neutral witness (ie. NOT a family member) or 2. a PVR (personal voice recorder) hanging around your neck.

          You ignore that, you WILL get screwed. She'll cry violence, likely at Daddy's urging, you'll get arrested for domestic violence, have a real restraining order slapped on you, and be fighting an uphill battle from the get go.

          And would it be better to go to court before or after the baby is born?
          Get a lawyer NOW. By the time you are prepped for court, she'll have had the kid. It takes MONTHS to get the legal wheels turning. Sooner is better.

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          • #20
            ok, i guess i can just send the letter lol.

            What if Im using Legal Aid for court and lawyers? I cant do aything with legal aid until the baby is born can I?

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            • #21
              Call Legal Aid and ask. Honestly Legal Aid sucks. You are better off finding a lawyer whose willing to work with you on a payment plan.

              Hell, go take a loan out if you can. You are going to need a war chest if she puts up a fight.

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              • #22
                If you are in Toronto, there is a dads-in-trouble meeting every Weds night where you will be able to get LOTS of help with this.

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                • #23
                  I am going to call legal aid tomorrow. How much do you actually think lawyers are? and how many set up payment plans?
                  I know Im going to need all the ammunition I can get.

                  And unfortunatly, I am not in toronto. Wish I was though.

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                  • #24
                    If there is a no contact order, do not make any contact. You will be arrested, and you will have lots of problems in the future.

                    If you do not know if there is a no contact order, you can go to the court and ask if there is an order against you, or as others have said to contact the police. If there is, then there will be terms that you must abide by, and possibly a date for a hearing.

                    They have told you that they do not want you around. If there is no order and you do go there, then they will get an order, and you will have great problems to deal with.

                    You may have to wait until the child is born before you can really do anything. As others have said, you may want to talk with a lawyer to see what you can do to ensure you are named as the father on the birth certificate. It is important to be named, as then you will have less problems to get access in the future.

                    The game in court is to make you look as bad as possible. The other side will bring up all kinds of things to complain about, and it is all meant to show the judge why you should not have any access to the child. Don't worry about what they say. Your actions will be more important than their accusations. But be prepared to defend yourself. Try not to slander the other side. Just remember that the issues will be about you and the child.

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                    • #25
                      No, the no contact order is just all words. Nothing has be to court yet.

                      Like they said earlier, Im getting a ton of sworm statements on paper from friends, family, ex girlfriends, teachers ect. for this supossably violent, aggressive anger I have, to which I do not.

                      But what kind of actions will take place from their accusations?

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                      • #26
                        It depends on the accusations, and how they are made. Your worst case would be if she went to court for a restraining order without telling you. This would be what is called an ex parte order, as you are not present in court. She would be able to say anything she wants that she thinks that will get you into trouble, and there is no need for evidence. Some judges fall for this, others don't.

                        The court could order your arrest, and prevent you from access to your child.

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                        • #27
                          Thats not like them though. They wouldnt take the time to do something like that unless it was absolutly needed. She couldnt prove much in court though, considering none of it is true. She doesnt have much on me.

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                          • #28
                            That is the problem with the courts. There is no proof needed to get an order.

                            If they don't want to spend the time, and are satisfied with just making the threat, then leave it be. You really don't want to cause a problem, even if you don't think that you have done anything wrong. The courts are very easily manipulated.

                            Just wait for things to settle down. Maybe in a short time she may come to her senses. But as others have said, you need to be prepared, and you should speak to a lawyer to find out your options.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by jakre90 View Post
                              No, the no contact order is just all words. Nothing has be to court yet.

                              Like they said earlier, Im getting a ton of sworm statements on paper from friends, family, ex girlfriends, teachers ect. for this supossably violent, aggressive anger I have, to which I do not.

                              But what kind of actions will take place from their accusations?
                              Just remember one thing though, if they told you not to come back to the house and you do, you can be charged with tresspassing. They do not need a court order for that.

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                              • #30
                                yes, I know. I do plan on going back anyways. Im just keeping myself in the dark so they can wonder were I am until the baby is born.

                                I just hope she comes to her senses that it would be ideal for the baby to grow up with a father in play.

                                Comment

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